An actual pic from just past the first large hill on one of my trails. The dogwood is so worth the trek!
Training is NOT for the faint of heart!
Let me tell you, it's a chore. It's hard and I'm not even running yet! I've been told that it'll take about three months before it gets better. So be it.... One place I've hit has been easy. Another clearly not. Yet the one that is not, I finished, not one but TWO laps the first day I really aimed to get all the way to the top of the hill.The first pic is the easy track. The second pic is a trail with lots of elevation in a mile span of it I took a shorter way back to the start point not realizing how short it really was. Monday was the first pic. Tuesday was the second.
Yesterday I did this.
You can see that in the third mile and 8th mile, that elevation is what I hit. I typically do that trip twice around. A full lap for me is about five miles. I found a longer way to expand how far it goes out. The latter half of the lap is the easiest thankfully. Compared to the huge hills, it's nothing. Yet after I did that yesterday, I felt like I really accomplished something. I thought I was going to die trying to get that last mile in though. It seemed like it took FOREVER! My phone was about dead too. I need to get one of those pocket packs to keep it charged with. Especially since I listen to music while going at it. Night before last I also only got four hours of sleep. Woke up in the middle of the night and couldn't fall back asleep for a while. I hate nights like that but thankfully they aren't too often. 13.2 miles on four hours of sleep.
I wore that tank yesterday for my training. I planned on at least 10 miles but once I hit that, I figured what was three more? That last mile about did me in but I was NOT going to quit. I think I was a little crazy for that but I proved I could do it. Last night and today I've done a little bit of a penguin walk thanks to being sore.
Next week I begin integrating some jogs in the miles. NOT on the huge hill segments though! Not yet at least. Good Lord, I could just see that.... Just no snow with it. haha
Next week I begin integrating some jogs in the miles. NOT on the huge hill segments though! Not yet at least. Good Lord, I could just see that.... Just no snow with it. haha
I'm glad I remembered how to do deep muscle massages on my calves from marching band after that. Good thing I have close to a year to get my pace smaller though because trying to finish an actual half-marathon even at close to five hours I won't accept of myself, hills or not. I'm a little sore after the last two days but not bad at all. Especially all considering. It just proves that the training is working. Had you told me the day of the Hogeye that I would have done this less than two weeks later, I would have thought you were crazy!
I will say though, yesterday was my 8th day into training! Training walking days total of 6. Six days and on day 6 of the actual walking with my pace generally above 3mph, and I did over a half-marathon distance.
They are why. My son is why. For a good cause is why.
All of my posts about my progress on Facebook have had these two hashtags on them.
#ForAinsleysAngels #ForMySon
All of my posts about my progress on Facebook have had these two hashtags on them.
#ForAinsleysAngels #ForMySon
I also got messaged recently over that dancing video of my son. (Last post I shared it) "No wonder you have been writing about them and training. I want to learn more and see if my kids can be involved where we live at! Keep up the training! You'll get that marathon done!" I sent her the link to the website and hope she keeps me updated!
If that isn't doing something right, I don't know what is.
Honestly, I have not felt this good emotionally in quite a while..... Just being real now. Really since losing Dallas officially in August 2017 especially, I had been going down a hole. Much of that hole was my own digging but with inspiration from so many who had so much to say that didn't help. Most of those words and actions came from locals or family. Honestly.... The hole was deepest since June till honestly the Hogeye. Thanks to this inspiration, I'm crawling out. I know some of my posts here have reflected where I have been. I don't regret those posts, as I was speaking truth. I don't have regrets in that. However, reading the stories every day on the Ainsley's Angels Facebook group restores some hope in humanity. I never thought it would take an event like a marathon to first REALLY see it. I saw it at the other Ainsley's Angels events too but my heart had too much hurt to see it sooner than the marathon....
Yet seeing the difference in what nine days now has done is something I would not have fathomed even a month ago. Especially with everything I have been learning in regards to my son and his brain stuff. Even training since the 9th, I have heard our county EMS on two different sessions. Both times it brought everything back......all the memories of my son's first epileptic seizure at home hit me. I remember the seizure well, the EMS ride and our local hospital being stupid about it. Days later he had two more and was diagnosed with epilepsy and his MRI showed newly found encephalomalacia (TBI type injury) caused by another medical diagnosis and too high of pressure on his brain for too long...... It wasn't there the prior MRI months before. Yes, I know I shared that last post too..... Still... It happened earlier this week too. It is a reminder of why I'm doing this, even when it's tough.
I still have had some moments though of wishing I could change things for my son..... I'm told that will get better too... Had it not been for his journey, I probably would never have heard of Ainsley's Angels and certainly would never think of training for a marathon!
Also, I know I don't come out with details on my family much on here but I have been given an opportunity to help further my goals with Ainsley's Angels. The president of AA has set up a Crowdrise fundraiser to help my son get his own chariot for days he is home and I'm training. It would also help me build the endurance to push him during races. I would be grateful if you can at least share the campaign. This is the chair. To know that a president of an organization would set this up for my son speaks so many volumes. I hope we get the funding for this.
If that isn't doing something right, I don't know what is.
Honestly, I have not felt this good emotionally in quite a while..... Just being real now. Really since losing Dallas officially in August 2017 especially, I had been going down a hole. Much of that hole was my own digging but with inspiration from so many who had so much to say that didn't help. Most of those words and actions came from locals or family. Honestly.... The hole was deepest since June till honestly the Hogeye. Thanks to this inspiration, I'm crawling out. I know some of my posts here have reflected where I have been. I don't regret those posts, as I was speaking truth. I don't have regrets in that. However, reading the stories every day on the Ainsley's Angels Facebook group restores some hope in humanity. I never thought it would take an event like a marathon to first REALLY see it. I saw it at the other Ainsley's Angels events too but my heart had too much hurt to see it sooner than the marathon....
I still have had some moments though of wishing I could change things for my son..... I'm told that will get better too... Had it not been for his journey, I probably would never have heard of Ainsley's Angels and certainly would never think of training for a marathon!
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Also, I know I don't come out with details on my family much on here but I have been given an opportunity to help further my goals with Ainsley's Angels. The president of AA has set up a Crowdrise fundraiser to help my son get his own chariot for days he is home and I'm training. It would also help me build the endurance to push him during races. I would be grateful if you can at least share the campaign. This is the chair. To know that a president of an organization would set this up for my son speaks so many volumes. I hope we get the funding for this.
What also amazes me is how young my son is yet his story has touched so many. How he seems to light up a room and cheer people up. Well except if you tell him "no" to something. haha Every time we go to Children's since this summer, he has insisted on visiting the staff on the two inpatient floors we were on. 20 days inpatient and runs up to them like he's known them forever. He's not terrified at all of the hospital, unless he knows he's getting labs drawn then it's all over.... Yet for children to go through so much yet still shine is a testament of itself.
To go to all of the events I have with Ainsley's Angels and see the joy on the faces of all who are there, riders and athletes alike, is so contagious!
Why can't the world be more like that?
Why can't the world be more like that?
To know that the people we see at CR and Ainsley's Angels events bring joy to my son brings me joy too. To know all that he had endured is not in vain makes the pain of the bad days more bearable. To see my son show others inclusion and involving them brings me joy. This video was at an event recently we went to. Red is my son's favorite color yet he chose on his own to share with another child.
Maybe, just maybe God is using my son to do just that. That I will always write about. The world needs more of it. I am not sure where all of this will take me honestly. Considering the other day was semicolon day, I know I have come so far. From being suicidal at age 12 and wanting my life over to what all I have achieved and survived since then is a story of itself. It's a testimony novel. Yet to see Christ in Celebrate Recovery and especially recently many of those I have seen within Ainsley's Angels brings renewed hope that all I have done and will do is not in vain. To know now that I am not alone in this. To know that no matter what happens from here, they have my back makes me emotional honestly.
Maybe, just maybe God is using my son to do just that. That I will always write about. The world needs more of it. I am not sure where all of this will take me honestly. Considering the other day was semicolon day, I know I have come so far. From being suicidal at age 12 and wanting my life over to what all I have achieved and survived since then is a story of itself. It's a testimony novel. Yet to see Christ in Celebrate Recovery and especially recently many of those I have seen within Ainsley's Angels brings renewed hope that all I have done and will do is not in vain. To know now that I am not alone in this. To know that no matter what happens from here, they have my back makes me emotional honestly.
I've never had that before.
That is the God honest truth!
That is the God honest truth!
May all of this bring renewed healing for my heart as well..... There is still much I need to heal from. Yet to know God used my husband's friend to bring us to Ainsley's Angels and God called one to lead our local chapter to bring joy to so many is inspiring and aweing as well. Nothing is impossible with God yet we are the ones who put Him in a box..... Too long I have let the hurt build. Too long I have carried the guilt of what my son has faced since we lost Dallas. Too long I gave up on myself.
NOT ANYMORE! (May I keep that stance too!)
And neither is yours!!
As I saw in a blog recently, we all need to remember the following:
Love rules in the place of selfishness.
Kindness in the place of cruelty.
Generosity in the place of greed.
Humility in the place of pride.
Social justice in the place of inequality.
Mercy in the place of fear.
And grace rules in the place of judgment.
All of that to say, I can't wait till I cross that finish line for the first time. I don't care what my time is or what my place is, as long as I finish. It'll all be thanks to God, my children, husband and Ainsley's Angels for giving me the inspiration to do this crazy deed. Join the club! I've been crazy long before this! I just think this plan proves it. 🤣 I can't wait to see how many more brick walls I'm going to smash through during my training and the time to come in the future. Yesterday was my first smashed wall. Over 13 miles! My son is worth it and so is Ainsley's Angels. If my children believe in me, then surely I can believe in myself with this.
I'm smiling at the fire ahead of me, and I will win.
"Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan "press on!" has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race!"
~ President Calvin Coolidge ~
Together we shall!
~ Special Momma ~
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