Why do we struggle so much with faith?
I was sitting outside today waiting to meet someone I was buying a lighthouse print from. Today I have been in a bleh mood.
I have tried to not fret about the surgery coming up and the Medicaid fun we are having but today it's been in my head all day. I heard Hymn For The Missing by RED and got to thinking about the child I miscarried. Without that loss, I wouldn't have my son yet I couldn't help but also wonder what would his/her journey been like? What would they look like? Personality? Would we be where we are now? I mean that question in several ways.
Today was bright and sunny with a few clouds. I prayed, "Lord, if everything with this upcoming surgery is going to be okay, especially financially right now, I wish to see a double rainbow today please...."
Now, that's going kinda far right? I had not seen the forecast today but from the looks of the sky, it was a long shot to see that today. Still God can do anything. Nothing is impossible with Him.
About 90 minutes or so passes and I happened to glance outside as it's down-pouring. I ran outside with my umbrella just to see since the sun was out too. This is what I saw.
See the double rainbow, especially in the last pic?? This rain shower lasted maybe 10 minutes if that. The rainbow disappeared pretty quickly. The whole time I was thinking of how much of an idiot I am for letting this stuff get to me..... Yet I am weak......
Sometimes I wonder if I will ever totally just get it..... When I will see that God has proven Himself plenty of times that things will work out. Yet the next storm, worry, whatever kicks in and there I go again.......
Anyone else with me on this? I know the closer it gets to my son's surgery in Texas, the more of a struggle I will have with the fretting and stuff but seesh..... Eight years of medical stuff and I still don't keep the faith as I should.
Yet God showed me today, even when at least I doubted rain today. Yet I got the double rainbow anyway.
God is good!
Blessings!
~ Special Momma ~
I have tried to not fret about the surgery coming up and the Medicaid fun we are having but today it's been in my head all day. I heard Hymn For The Missing by RED and got to thinking about the child I miscarried. Without that loss, I wouldn't have my son yet I couldn't help but also wonder what would his/her journey been like? What would they look like? Personality? Would we be where we are now? I mean that question in several ways.
Today was bright and sunny with a few clouds. I prayed, "Lord, if everything with this upcoming surgery is going to be okay, especially financially right now, I wish to see a double rainbow today please...."
Now, that's going kinda far right? I had not seen the forecast today but from the looks of the sky, it was a long shot to see that today. Still God can do anything. Nothing is impossible with Him.
About 90 minutes or so passes and I happened to glance outside as it's down-pouring. I ran outside with my umbrella just to see since the sun was out too. This is what I saw.
See the double rainbow, especially in the last pic?? This rain shower lasted maybe 10 minutes if that. The rainbow disappeared pretty quickly. The whole time I was thinking of how much of an idiot I am for letting this stuff get to me..... Yet I am weak......
Sometimes I wonder if I will ever totally just get it..... When I will see that God has proven Himself plenty of times that things will work out. Yet the next storm, worry, whatever kicks in and there I go again.......
Anyone else with me on this? I know the closer it gets to my son's surgery in Texas, the more of a struggle I will have with the fretting and stuff but seesh..... Eight years of medical stuff and I still don't keep the faith as I should.
Yet God showed me today, even when at least I doubted rain today. Yet I got the double rainbow anyway.
God is good!
Blessings!
~ Special Momma ~
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