Inside Out

If you are a mom or dad, you probably just saw that title and thought of the Pixar movie. Yeah, that's kinda sorta where I'm going today. Admittedly we all can probably say we lean more towards one of the main characters over the others in our own personalities. Mine is anger. My daughter has played the Inside Out thought bubbles game. Anger cracks me up yet sounds like much like I would. Clip here  He really spazzes when you lose a level. I love his "I demand a recount!" saying.

Yet I also think of how anger can be good, really all of our emotions. Used right.

I also think sometimes of our lives working like the Memory Dump. Faded memories, dreams, ambitions,

Dreams, thoughts, memories forgotten, faded, no longer existing. When we see things happen that we know shouldn't yet there isn't anything we can do about it.... We feel like we should be able to hang on to so much.... Yet we can't.
We feel like we are trapped in our own "memory dump" where everyone has forgotten about us, we are fading away and yet with all the chaos around us, we are alone. We get to the point where it's us against the world mentality. We feel like we are drowning and everyone is watching.

But here is where they finally started working together.

I think that's where also in a spiritual way, we finally "get it" when it comes to working with God and His will for us....God knows, we don't "get it" at every bend in the road that comes.

Right now so to speak I'm enjoying the sunset yet the sunset also means darkness is upon me. Darkness not in depression but darkness as in the unknown.

My son has his second sleep study tonight and his chiari surgery is less than three weeks out now. His "quarantine" so to speak from the public starts about a week from now. Been there, done that but never done the chiari surgery before.... Cranal vault, x3, done that. Tubes, hearing tests, therapies, appointments, neuropsych, IEP's and so much more, done that. Know that, know how it works. This one is new territory. Never walked it, don't know anything of it, how my son will do or anything.... Hence darkness. The unknown. Right now I can still see what I'm doing, where I'm going but the sun is setting.

The walking path right now looks like this, hard to see ahead but at least a path before me. Once it is dark, all I can do is hunker down and wait it out.....


Yet God knows me Inside Out. That, is what I have to remember, in faith, that God knows what he is doing, even when I do not.....

Blessings!
~ Special Momma ~