The Kraken

"Well, if you believe such things, there's a beast does the bidding of Davy Jones. A fearsome creature with giant tentacles that'll suction your face clean off, and drag an entire ship down to the crushing darkness. The Kraken. They say the stench of its breath is...(shudders) Imagine, the last thing you know on God's green earth is the roar of the Kraken and the reeking odor of a thousand rotting corpses. If you believe such things."
    ―Joshamee Gibbs to Will Turner (Pirates of the Caribbean 2)

Okay, you know you see the Pirates movies too often when you read that with the exact voice that Kevin McNalley uses! Ha!


The closer the time comes for me to head to Dallas with my son, the more I am fighting the tentacles from creeping up me and choking the life out of me..... I mentioned in my Bible Study last night that and the Kraken got brought up. Yeah! Like that..... The scene in Pirates 2 where the Kraken's tentacles are just slithering up the side of a ship, just about to attack and destroy. That's the feeling.

For me it's such a fight to keep the beast tamed. Too keep it in the depths where it belongs, not crawling all over me, trying to choke me with anxiety..... That's the beast within my head.... In reality, physical life, I have my children's diagnoses to contend with. Especially right now my son's..... To be honest, it terrifies me what might show up on his MRI in two weeks.... I can already see the EOB's filling up the mailbox now and the fights to get primary and Medicaid to cover it all....


God sees the Kraken like this though. May I someday see it better like that....

That's really a baby octopus but same concept.

"But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:31 (ESV)

"The common phrase that good things come to those who wait might have been written by a Christian. Truth is that our flesh wants the here and now, but our spirit knows that waiting on the Lord is the best policy. It is an ongoing tension and struggle that I wrestle with daily. I cannot say that I have perfectly mastered the art of waiting (not sure I even reach a C-average), but I do know that I am a bit better today than I was yesterday. May I encourage you to not aim for perfect waiting, but just wait a bit more on the Lord today than you did yesterday. Read one more verse, pray for one more moment, meditate on Scripture on more minute or enjoy the sunset while thinking of our Creator. Wait on the Lord and let Him provide the eagles' wings you need for today.

Lord, thank You for the promise that You are near, that You provide strength, and that You are for me and not against me. Help me, by Your Spirit, to slow down, to rest and to wait on You. I am often surrounded by swirling storms and far too often I attempt to navigate them on my own. Remind me daily to look to You and to wait on You - only then will I have the peace and assurance I need to see You daily in my life. Amen!"
Excerpt from HERE

Margaret Feinberg asks though, "What if God? But if not..." We have to surrender our burden, fear, worry.... Our cross to God.

"What if God ___ is healed/fixed/found
But if not God, I will persevere through your will."

Joy isn't happiness... It is peace. Or at least that's how I feel about it.....

I pray for peace amidst the Kraken of anxiety and worry trying to choke me.... God will not let me go. God has allowed me to be someone with special needs children and so I'm going to be the best one I can be. I pray for peace and sometimes duct tape for my mouth over things that I feel the need to speak about, to vent, to whatever.... May I learn contentment (Working on it) as I continue this journey, often alone.....

May I keep my mind, my eyes, my heart fixed on God in the midst of the hurricane winds of the storm.....

May I find joy in even the little things.... Like laughing over my doggone tablet when I started this post trying to auto-correct tentacles into something else entirely!!! (Yeah.....)


Blessings!
~ Special Momma ~