Band

This isn't my first post about music on here nor my life with music. Though today I just feel like writing about it. Go down memory lane with me. Music has honestly saved me. Sounds cheesy but it's the truth.

Spring 1993, I was almost 12. Kids started band in 5th grade at the school I was at. I was currently near the end of 6th grade. I was stuck in a single classroom most of the day because I was too whatever they wanted to call me to "handle" full time in a regular classroom. That and my brain doesn't "click" with things as fast as people thought it should so I was considered pretty dumb. They didn't have inclusion really back then. You would be mainstreamed, have a few mainstream classes or you were special ed. That's it. Most kids, if you had an IEP, you were special ed in seclusion. Man have times changed.... I was that kid who fell through the cracks. I was that kid who was worth crap. I was that kid who had to claw herself back up time and time again. I was that kid who at one time had so much despair that I wanted to end my life and tried. I was that kid who at school nobody listened to her. I was that kid who teachers and counselors both said that I would amount to nothing. That I would always be a burden to society. I would always live in an institution. I would only wind up in prison. I was that kid who people didn't want to help because it was inconvenient for them. I was that kid who had to get through school all by herself and did it. I was that kid who overcame. I was that kid who was able to stand up graduating college and wishing all of those who said I wouldn't were there to be proven wrong.

Anyway!


Spring 1993, I don't remember the exact conversation but I wanted to play an instrument like the rest of my family had. I think part of what spawned it was a game called Professor Piccolo. During my growing up years, my grandpa for Christmas or birthdays would get me toys/stuff related to fishing or music in one way or another. I called him one evening and said I wanted to go into music. I wanted to do clarinet first but was told I couldn't due to that my mouth shape was bad for it. Looking back I kinda wonder if it was partly that and partly that maybe the flute was one of the few if any instruments he had had left from his music store, and to save all parties involved money, I got that.


This was the first flute I started on. It was much better back then than it is now...... Marching band kinda ruined the plating and most of the damage was only in the first year of high school.

I still have it all these years later. Though now it needs an overhaul done on it. That flute got me through 7th through part of 11th grade till I got an Armstrong 80B with my own money. It got me through two and a half years of high school, all of what was left of middle school and was a good rehearsal horn when not doing marching performances. I marched piccolo my junior year.

The following two videos were of the best two seasons I ever had marching. First one we won state and so many memories with that, the second one was the most memorable show, pulled at heartstrings. I still have the ribbon with the child's name that was given to me. He had been about my age at the time when he was killed in Columbine....

Now concert band.... 7th grade the first thing we played after I got out of summer band was a Bb concert scale. I didn't know what that was.... Not at first. Not because I didn't know the notes but because we didn't learn that. That was just the start of many things in music I would have to learn on my own. First song we played was William Tell Overture. Needless to say that first week didn't go well for me in the sense of playing by any means but I was determined to make it work. The flute player in the next chair above me was a huge help. You know who you are.


Over time, I was in and out of placements the next few years. Nothing different from the past few years having been in and out as well. Trying to kill myself at nearly 13, going back months later into 8th grade, band and everything then later becoming ward of the state and put into a foster home then group home added to it. I wasn't in the origional school district for much of 8th grade but we did get to do concert band contest. Got a first division and I do remember playing Novena. Really fun piece. I remember the other two we did that concert also. State of the Art and Chinook Wind Rhapsody. No, I wasn't the piccolo player. I was in last chair. Being in and out of placements really did hinder my playing honestly. I didn't get to practice much and what practice I did do, I couldn't do in privacy. Not till that group home anyway. It was the tail end of my 8th grade year that I really started to take off. Though it was still a while before I was playing pretty good.

The summer of my freshman year, I entered into my first year of marching band. Little did I know what I was getting into.... Trying to learn how to march and play was definitely harder than it looked. I was automatically one of those "state kids" because of where I lived and I was also still in a "special ed" class some of the school day so that was two strikes on me. Strike three was I didn't grow up in that school district. I had much to prove. I also was outspoken and not tactful about it.... I didn't do so well to start. Let me tell you though, marching band is excellent exercise and a good way to get in shape!!

First was basics in marching for part of the day and the other part of the day was learning the music and memorizing it. The music was easy, mostly. Especially with the constant repetition. Marching was easy, especially when I remembered to always start with the left foot. Putting both together, not so much. By the time all the drill was learned and the memorization was done, my section leader told me that I was either to march and not play anything, just hold my flute or quit band. Honestly, excuse my french but the first thing I told her was to "kiss my ass". Yeah, that went well. I wasn't liked much in our section anyway for few reasons mentioned earlier so that went well. The next day, she told me she talked to one of the directors who sided with her. Funny they never came to me. In fact, one of our drill charts put me right at the front of the 50 yard line so that meant that everyone had to line up to me, regardless if I hit the spot right or not. The director during rehearsals would actually tell everyone to go to "____ chart!" It honestly made me feel special for once. I think it was a matter of the computer programming my number at that spot in the timing of the drill formations but I didn't care.
I ultimately didn't wind up playing any of the marching music, or so they thought, that first year because the whole section I was told, complained about how bad I was and I was told by one of the leaders, not a director that I shouldn't play. Obviously I've never forgotten that. "I know you are in special ed and in band but obviously you can't figure out the marching and playing thing so just march since the others can handle the playing." Yeah..... Not sure if any of them figured it out or not but there were times I played anyway. I was going to make it work and I didn't care what it took. I didn't play and march at the same time for the "big" competitions, I just marched my charts but I did for the others because I was not going to be told what to do by someone who was not my boss.

So anyway, as we got farther into the season, the more fun it got. Tradition was no matter what bus number you were on to head to and from competitions, two songs by Queen were always played the way there and the way back, win or not. We Will Rock You and We Are The Champions. No matter what, those were played. To and from most competitions I would either read a book or watch out the window. I had no friends at that school, just a few acquaintances at that time. I was fine with that too because I already knew it would be like that going in. Though for the sake of "fairness" any souvenirs that were made or decorations in the band hall or lockers, I kept. Most were made by the band boosters. I still have that stuff. The paper stuff is in a band scrapbook and the music notes from my freshman and sophomore years are on my mantle. The ceramic angel flute our section leader got everyone just before state freshman year broke a few years ago sadly. I think I only got that because she was told all or none. Like I said, I was an outcast. Well it's the truth! I was fortunate my two seasons at that school, there was a fellow band parent willing to take me to and from the high school back to the group home the days of competitions and football/basketball home games for pep band, otherwise I doubt I would have gone at all. I could see the group home staff taking me for drop off but I doubt for pickup because of how late it would be when we got back from competitions. There was one day, I was left at the school for hours because the home forgot about me and then they got mad at me when I did get picked up because apparently it was "my fault" they forgot me despite that they had my practice schedule. It was soon after that, that the band parent offered to help.

The day of State my freshman year came. It was one of the scariest band moments of my life, even now I say that yet it was soooo exciting. Marching on that turf with the dome lights on you was breathtaking. SOOOOO many people watching to see how you all did. One band, one sound. Fifteen minutes on the field decided so much. After we performed, we sat in the stands as a group to see whomever was left to perform and all went afterward onto the field. We stood at attention in our area while awards 10th through 1st were called out. Talk about anxiety to see how you all did!!! I bawled when they announced who got runner-up, which at the time was our biggest rival in band. We beat them! I actually still have these two posters. I had them hung up in my bedroom at the group home and at home till college.

Then marching season was over.....

I don't know if our director ever knew this or not but that year not only winning State but also how he treated me made me realize that maybe there was some good in humanity. A soul like his was few and far between. Honestly. Two teachers in high school made the most impact on me, ever. They were the only two in high school to ever come out and tell me I mattered. That I was worth something. That I had potential. That I would make a difference. I was able to tell one recently that, I wish I could tell my old director there that but he passed away a few years later. I'll get into that soon. Prior to those two, I only had one other teacher in all my years really show me they cared, and that was my first grade teacher. Just telling the facts. (Teachers, tell your students they matter. Love on all of them, even the difficult ones. It's the difficult ones who need love the most, not disdain.)

Freshman year also started the world of Solo & Ensemble. This was for concert band season, winter and spring. Our school was really big into that as well. Anyone in band had to be in either an ensemble of some sort or doing a solo or both. Freshman year I did the flute choir. I wasn't good enough for the woodwind choir. I sure as heck wasn't going to do a solo! I was on my own in learning for the most part and I didn't have anybody who could do the piano anyway so that ruled solos out anyway. During some practices I played the piece with them but I wasn't able to perform it with them. The flute choir I got 4th out of 5th parts. The middle piece was soooo boring because it was pretty much playing the same low A natural the WHOLE thing.... At least the first and past pieces were more involved. We ultimately got a first division at State Solo & Ensemble for our flute choir. (You can only go to State IF you have a Division I solo or ensemble piece AND you get a first division rank. (Pics below) Ensembles got the state of Indiana whereas solos got different ones.

Movement 1, Movement 2, Movement 3

Freshman concert band season, one of the most memorable pieces I remember playing was Gustav Holst First Suite in Eb. I can never hear that without going back to all of the memories of freshman year and the impact it made on me, even though as a musician I still kinda sucked... lol


Before long, I was getting ready for my sophomore year, only two class periods of seven were considered "special ed" by this point. Even those I didn't "need" I was only in them because I had a hard time with math and another subject and was simply in for the extra help. Again, they didn't really do inclusion classrooms with a para back then. You were either mainstreamed or in special ed. Nothing in the middle. Anyway,  marching season yet again. New show, new drill and a flute section that knew I wasn't going to take crap this year. I had gotten better with the flute, mostly playing on my own still. No private lessons or anything. I had huge respect for our director though as he was sooo much like my grandpa..... He saw potential and hope in everyone. That is something you don't really find. The special ed classroom teacher I had was like that also. She was one of the best teachers I ever had. I'm just glad I got to tell her that recently. That August soon after school started, I found out my grandpa had passed.... After the funeral and everything, I bawled putting my flute together the first time after, knowing that even though I didn't see him often enough, I would never get a music lesson from him again. From 12-15 he was the only one who would help me in playing and learning music. The rest I learned on my own or by practices during band and out of school. I decided then, no matter what, I was going to do a flute solo that year.

I got back to marching band practice and our director came up to me directly, hugged me and said I didn't have to play that day. I remember telling him that grandpa would have wanted me to go on and at least now he is where he can hear me play every day. Putting the flute together that day was hard enough but when we started warming up, I had tears falling down my face. Nobody else minus that one favorite teacher said anything to me all day about anything, not even at the group home. State that year we got third.

I told the group home after marching season was over that they got a check for me being there from the state and that I was going to make solo & ensemble work and I didn't care how, I was going to get a flute teacher that could be a piano accompanist who could at least help me get through S&E and go from there. I told them why and that I just asked for this one thing. Not sure who honestly covered it but lessons started soon after. Let me tell you, I knew how to play, I could make things work but I developed some bad playing habits too. So, we worked on those and my flute solo. It was a second division solo so I would not have the option for State but I didn't care. I just wanted to keep a promise I had made. That I did. I almost got a first division in Division II but not quite.... Grandpa I'm sure was proud none the less.

Sophomore year

Soon after I went home for good, though I wanted to stay at one high school, the courts said I had to go back to the other school district. I wasn't happy about that because I would have to see everyone who knew all of the past stuff.... I wasn't popular at the group home and at that school district by any means but I didn't want to leave either. Yet when court says you have to go and you are a minor, you are stuck. So.... home I went and back to the old school district.

Talk about things being different. Though even there I was still an outcast but many had not remembered much, they just remembered I was an outcast. No flutes I was in 7th grade band with were here, they came from other middle schools in our district. I didn't have much of my 10th grade year to finish here before school was out and getting ready for marching season again. AND I was only in  "special ed" for one class. Study hall. Our show that year didn't go so well. It was the first year I marched piccolo though.That was fun!!!

Solo & Ensemble was still a big deal at this school but getting ready for it was done differently. I was going to do a solo on flute and one on piccolo but thanks to working so many hours at the fast food joint, and school, I barely had time to do the solo stuff on the flute so I just didn't do the piccolo one. The flute solo, I barely got this second division for a Division I solo because I had only heard the piano accompaniment the night before and totally messed it up both times..... The flute teacher I had at this point didn't play piano so I had to find and pay a last minute accompanist.

Junior year

Concert band went pretty well. We were split up into three smaller bands based on skill. I was in the middle band, fourth chair. Compared where I was always in the past, I took it. No flute solos, no piccolo solos and I was good.


Senior year..... No special ed anything! The final year of high school band.... I had wanted to go to college and be a music education major like grandpa had been. He taught band for many years. I was bound to enjoy it. I had been finally able to play on a french model flute for a while now, (Paid for it myself my junior year) and I was so sure I was going to do what I dreamed to be. Last marching season, last football game pep band, last basketball game pep band, last of everything within high school. I was excited yet didn't want it all to end. It was also the season that the band director as my last high school died. I had heard the news the morning of a marching competition from the director I was currently under. I was glad he told me but it brought back soooooo many memories. I had no regrets this time, other than I wished I could have been able to go to his funeral...

Our marching show was a very memorable one, called The 4th Angel. Video was posted earlier in the post. We were talked about a lot, both in the community and online. Yet most of us who marched this show, had no regrets. This school got into State that year with this program and we got 9th. I didn't care. I went to State three years of four, won one and in the eyes of the world, we might as well have won my senior year given our show. I still have my memorial ribbon....

Auditions for chairs for the last time, I was determined to do really well with also. I was fortunate I was familiar with one of the three segments we auditioned with thanks to the prior high school. I got third chair, first band. I was happy. No solos on anything yet first part. I was happy. In five years time, I went from last chair to 3rd (What I wanted) in the top band.

Solo & Ensemble came around for the final time. Acceptance into any Indiana University or College for music ed wasn't going to be a problem this time, it was money. I wasn't ever smart enough and applied myself in classes to get the good scholarships, didn't qualify grants so..... loans it would have been. I would have been on my own for all of it. Working the nearly full time hours at a fast food joint I was already working plus my school hours and band wasn't going to pay for that to even begin.  So..... due to that, music was over. After S&E it was over. My flute teacher said that she would no longer see me after S&E because I was not going to a college for music. Given that, I was bound to make S&E work. I was going to do the flute choir and also a flute solo. The choir didn't work out for a few reasons, my work hours plus school demands just didn't allow me the practice time I really needed and I couldn't make all the practices that were needed for different reasons.

 
Movement 3 and Movement 4 in Sonata in C Major by Handel


In the realm of my music world, this was the pinnacle of it. Getting a first division for a Division I solo at both district and State.
I did it!!

All of them

From high school, these were my top favorite pieces that I remember..... There were sooo many more played and many I've forgotten but not all.

Shenandoah by Frank Ticheli,
Divertimento by Persichetti
Variations on a Korean Folk Song by John Chance
Those three just my senior year.

Dragoons of Villars by Albert F. Schoepper
Symphonic Suite by Clifton Williams
Ireland of Legend and Lore by Robert Smith
Masque by Francis McBeth

Those from mainly freshman year but some from sophomore and junior also. I excluded the Holst piece because I mentioned it earlier.

That is where the road ended.

Or so I thought.

Now, it was essentially over for me. I went on to community college, got a degree and started in that. I went five years before really playing again, and even though I'm nowhere near as good as I once was, and probably never will be, I play in our local community band and at church.I started playing in the church in early 2006. Community band in 2008. In community band, I play second flute. I'm fine with that now too. I know I'm not as good as I once was and it's not about being "the best" anymore anyway. I've blogged some in here about being an adult musician and music. I've got so many favorites from community band, there's too many to even list here. Though we have played some that I have also played in high school.

Part of what's affected my playing now is being one with adult onset hearing loss. It has had it's own challenges in the music world. The first audiogram where I was told I was losing my hearing was back in 2007. My left ear was worse and it still is. Though I had to settle with only one hearing aid for some time due to cost and that insurance didn't cover them. It was only in the last few years that I was given a pair of Phonak Bolero Q90-P pair off of someone who had passed away locally. Having an actual pair changed a lot for me. That technology may not have been "ideal" for especially my type of hearing loss but at least it worked and I could still play. I remember one Sunday where I was playing at church and both died at the same time. No warning. I barely heard anything through the earmolds.... I sure had a new appreciation for it. Think of earmolds as earplugs of themselves with a small vent hole to allow extra back out. Now play and listen to everyone else on stage. I kinda panicked even though nobody else saw it. Thankfully I had batteries with me that day but I couldn't just swap out in the middle of that. I recently got the Starkey Muse hearing aids thanks to new insurance covering. So far they are working pretty well for the music world. Programs help!

My family has always been rich in the music world. I was determined to keep myself going with it and I hoped my children would want to, but I was not going to push them into it if they didn't want to.


This last spring my daughter did instrument tryouts. Not playing but seeing how good tone and stuff is. Her scores were amazing! And she chose trumpet, as she wanted. She'd had a trumpet for a bit now but using it more for playing on/with and not serious learning yet.

She has since started 6th grade, in band, did her first concert and I think she's hooked. She said she chose trumpet because that would keep me as the "traitorous woodwind in the family while everyone else was brass!" 🤣 (Woodwinds are better! #SorryNotSorry !!) I've been told that she's doing really well also.

I as of this summer, started learning the clarinet, as I always wanted. I'm not very good at it yet but I am learning and I am getting some lessons as well. I will never give up the flute but eventually I want the clarinet to take me into church and community band stuff too. I can never rewind and do marching and all of that again but that's fine. being a musician offers many, many memories for me. I have no regrets in playing the flute and I'm not going to dismiss the 25 years I've done on it either.

My darling daughter wants me to also learn the trumpet with her. Who knows how far that will go. The good news is, as she gets better and I get better on the clarinet, we can play the same sheet music. (Same instrument key. I can't play the flute with trumpet or clarinet music and have it sound right.)

I hope in time, band will continue for all of us in one way or another. I look forward to the next generation, my children getting to see what a blessing belonging to something like that is. To know that no matter how good or not they are, they are all a part of something. They all make music. My son is only four but he has expressed interest. He can keep the beat! Now if he does, that's up to him just like it was my daughter.

Myself, as a now band parent part of Band Boosters, I can do more for my children than what was done for me. That I can show them through all the struggles, the darkness, the wars within my own soul, that I found something I can love doing. That I found something meaningful, joyful and it requires no words. That they can take this music world, either by band, orchestra, choir, whatever it is, and they can enjoy that.That I can make as many competitions and concerts as possible, and no matter how they score or do, I can cheer them on, and do it loud! Louder than a trumpet can play!

The medical world may be much of what I talk about but music is the other. It's not a matter so much of playing well, it's playing with passion, no matter what instrument you play.

Blessings!
~ Special Momma ~

Love Your Neighbor

Jesus replied: ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’
Matthew 22:37‭, ‬39 NIV

source

Not long ago, I read this. It's honestly one of the best things I've read in some time.....

"The pastor says they sit front and center. The gay boys. Sometimes they hold hands. And some folks have said he should address the issue. But the pastor tells me he doesn’t know what to say.
And then there’s the man who sneaks in the back door. Fresh off the street. After the service starts. And leaves before alter call. The people sitting close complain about how bad he smells. Of beer and smoke and sweat. But the pastor tells me he doesn’t know what to say.
And then there’s the young mama who wears dirty skin and lets her four children come in and eat all the donuts and drink all the watered-down juice. Some church staff say they “…eat like little pigs. Like they haven’t eaten in weeks.” While the mama just stands there and lets them. And the elders say something must be done and said. But the pastor tells me he doesn’t know what to say.
And there’s the whore sitting among the faithful. And everybody knows her. She sits with a painted-up face, cheap perfume, and a broken heart. And those who sit close, well, they all treat her for what they think she is. And at the last staff meeting, her name came up. Something must be done about her. But the pastor tells me he doesn’t know what to say.
The pastor is a good man. Holy and just. And he wants to do the “right and loving” thing. And he wants to “look like Jesus”. And he asks me if I have any thoughts on anything he could say.
Yes, sweet Pastor. I do.
Start with this and say it Louder than any other words:
“Welcome to Church. This is a place of love and hope and safety and forgiveness. We will be food for the hungry. Living water for the thirsty. We are so glad you are here. You are invited. You are loved. Come on in—we’ve been waiting on you. Welcome here. We are the church.”
Say that. To the called and to the called-out. To the leaders and the greeters. To the dirty and the clean. We are all the same. We are.
May we blow the dust of religion out of our souls and choose affection instead. May our words and actions and reactions be a sanctuary for all.
Jesus broke many laws to love. So, Jesus, be our voice. Be the only words we should ever speak.
Written by Heather Burke Cody"

I don't take her post as saying to accept the behavior but to welcome all that come because all of us were unsaved till a Christian told us about Christ. We are all sinners, even after being saved. Main point of the post: Quit judging. Treat others like we were commanded to, help those around you without bias or anything else. Many need to remember what "Love your neighbor" really means.... Nobody's perfect but Facebook and other social media seems to bring the worst out of many. Good intended posts or not get blown way crazy and a lot of belittling/name calling.

Words on a screen are often misleading and or easily misunderstood.

Loving our neighbors means equally loving all and not treating others like we are in a pecking order. Nobody is better than anyone else and should be treated as such. What's good for the goose should be good for the gander. Help those around you, even if you don't like them. Support them if they are having a hard time. The beggar on the street is no worse or better than the CEO of Chase Bank.

I'm in a new Bible Study called, Just Open The Door by Jen Schmidt. So many lessons and snippets in that. First of all, that hospitality isn't a spotless or clutterless house, it's inviting people to be social, to get loved on, etc. Yet we made it become about we don't want to host people because we fear judgment about how our homes look, or worse, some do judge by merely seeing a speck of dust when they visit. I have heard of a friend who had a mom that would literally wear white gloves when they would come over and if anything at all got on that white glove, the daughter would get chewed out for not having the house clean enough. Never mind that she had young kids at the time. Personally, my kids come before a spotless house. I want my house to be lived in, not looking like a shrine, a shell of what a home should be. Besides, those who judge me about my house or anything else, better have theirs spotless too.

Anyway.....

One question she asked in one of the daily studies was this: "Can you think back on a time when you've been the stranger, the new girl at work, or the uninvited guest who waited on the fringes for a word of welcome? Tell about that experience. Has it impacted how you reach out to others? I answered, "Honestly, I've seen a lot of politeness but not hospitality as told here. There was always a "catch" or those that were kind would later stab me in the back or treat me as an outcast. The most hospitable place was the Ronald McDonald House in Dallas. Yeah, there were obligations yet workers AND families united to help each other. Nothing else mattered other than to support each other no matter how sick or hurt our children were. Church and many Christians forget that THAT is what it's supposed to be about.
“Welcome to Church. This is a place of love and hope and safety and forgiveness. We will be food for the hungry. Living water for the thirsty. We are so glad you are here. You are invited. You are loved. Come on in—we’ve been waiting on you. Welcome here. We are the church.”
Say that. To the called and to the called-out. To the leaders and the greeters. To the dirty and the clean. We are all the same. We are.
May we blow the dust of religion out of our souls and choose affection instead. May our words and actions and reactions be a sanctuary for all.
Jesus broke many laws to love. So, Jesus, be our voice. Be the only words we should ever speak." is what we are supposed to be. How are we to bring others to Christ and or even show who Christ was otherwise?"

I should have answered all of that in what I had to say. Hopefully I can soon because I really want to hear what the response is.
 
I mentioned recently in a Bible Study that the church and communities need to be more intentional in reaching out to others who are going through trials. We need to reach them no matter what they have done, who they are, what money they make or not, or anything else. If Jesus can heal and change the woman who was a prostitute and adulterer, then why can't we treat the people who sin "worse or less" (Quotes because WE make the scales, not God when in reality no sin is worse than another.) I was told "What will you do about it? If you are that passionate about it, then you fix it."

My thought to that is this: Why just me? To me that sounds like a lazy answer, or something to shut me up with. I get the point but instead why don't everyone who claims to love Christ be more intentional? Why don't we seek those out who are struggling and help them without complaint, favoritism or wanting something in return? Or worse, say "I did this for you so no more talking about ____" or "I did this so you can't say nobody did ___" That's not what the point of "Love your neighbor" is. That isn't truly serving and helping others. That's the Pharisee way. Even when many do help others, they take the cheapest way possible to do it.

For an example: They buy themselves good, healthy food but donate only junk or honestly unhealthy food to charity. Why? Why not donate what you are willing for your household to eat too? Why do you insist on your kids eating organic yet will donate Dollar Tree cereal and a can of spam? Why not donate what you will feed yourselves? Or you donate beat up clothes and shoes with holes in them but won't donate the kind of stuff you would make your kids wear. I may sound nitpicking but am I really? I think I have a point.

What's good for the goose should be good for the gander.

If that's also the case then why can't I post an honest update about the heartbreak, anger, sadness or defeat moments about our journey without backlash? Yet so many of those griping at me post all sorts of junk, rants and or complaining? If not that, then all they do post about is bragging about themselves or their families. If I'm being truthful as I should be, then why the condemnation? Why should I only share the bright, shiny, perfect parts? That's not what life is. It's a blend of both.

Loving your neighbor means loving them and being like Jesus was for not just us but for the things He did in healing/serving others with no scoreboard. No stipulations. No scales. No judgment or bias. No favoritism. No popularity contests or totem pole positioning. NONE OF THAT! If God sought you to have you saved by Christ, whom someone had to tell you about, then why won't He those who you see are worse than you?

How do others see the love of God? By how we treat them. If your only concern is getting them to Heaven and nothing more, you won't get anywhere in teaching them Jesus. Jesus loved sinners. Do you love sinners? If we are doing what we do just because, we have a problem. Where we get Pharisee like is when we get "We can only take care of our own. Nobody else because ____" "I refuse that one because I hate them." I refuse because that one looks ugly/poor/rich/fake stuff. "I refuse because that one is outspoken." "I refuse to help that one because they asked __ times now." "I refuse to help that family because they aren't from here." "I refuse to help ___ cause simply because their illness (Or family member's) isn't as bad as so and so's illness/medical diagnosis/storm." It's all excuses. You can't share the gospel without loving and serving others.

What good is it to say you are saved and trying to show others Christ if you don't do it? If you don't "Love your neighbor" or to go after that one sheep that nobody else will?

Now, here's proof that behavior like that isn't what Jesus was about. Luke 15 brings these points. "I have come to save those who are lost."

Tax collectors were seen as the most disliked and hated during the time of Jesus. Yet one became a disciple of Jesus. They were the outcasts of society. Yet Matthew became one of his twelve disciples. Outcasts, and notorious sinners were the ones who followed Jesus. They were the ones Jesus saved. Not the Pharisees or religious, not the holier-than-thou people, but the outcasts and the unloved. It's an issue of pride. That's what it boils down to. Those who look down on others who aren't "better" than them have a heart full of hate and pride. Yet they knew better but did it anyway!

Jesus didn't give us the ability to save others but did give us the ability to share the gospel. Just remember, there is a celebration in Heaven every single time someone gets saved. Shouldn't we? Shouldn't we help others with joy, no matter who we should serve or who they are? None of you accepted salvation yourselves. All of you were once lost too. Just because you no longer are lost, it doesn't mean you shouldn't care about those that are still lost, wandering, hurting, etc.
 
Our pastor Sunday shared the story about a time during the summer he was at a lake. Many people would go there swimming. Sometimes people would dive into the lake from a nearby bridge. One guy jumped off, came up in the water but was struggling. Those around him didn't think he was serious and this young man drowned. "We just didn't know he was struggling" was the echoed statement........

How many times do we say that about someone who dies by suicide or an overdose or any other self caused death or attempted death?

The lost, the wandering, the strayed, the broken, the hurting, the outcasts, the unloved, the ___ is who God is after. If a Shepard can leave his 99 sheep who are in good shape to chase down the one who has strayed, shouldn't we do that for each other?

I'm talking more than salvation here, I'm talking befriending, supporting, loving on, comforting, showing hospitality to, etc. You don't have to like everyone but we are supposed to love everyone.

Why don't we just simply do what Jesus did? Love and serve others. Jesus didn't put labels on others. Only the "lost" or "saved" NO other labels were ever considered. WE humans do that. We do that to each other, inside and outside the church. We are the ones to choose to help or hurt others and we choose who we feel is worthy of community help, or not..... And many who proclaim to love Christ choose not.


Don't wish you did when it's too late. Don't sit there at the funeral or in the ICU or a prayer time about someone who is either dead, dying or in a hospital after trying to end it all.....

Reach out to others, no matter what.
While we remember how far we have come, no matter where we started at, let's remember two things:

1. Don't compare where we are to others. Nobody else knows how far you have come and how far you have to go but God.
2. Those around you, don't look down on them because they sin differently or "more often" than you do. That won't matter. What will matter is how you treated them no matter what. That is how you share Jesus. Be the one that refuses to give up on that one sheep when everyone else has. No matter what that sheep does, they will remember you alone, were the one who refused to give up. That is Jesus. Jesus didn't ever give up on you, no matter how lost you were, if you wander now, if you are broken now, hurting now or anything else. What matters is you are saved and you bring others to Christ by what you do for others, no matter who those others are, not for yourself.

Perhaps that's why I'm so passionate about the outcasts.... Because I am one. Because I feel the hurt and broken so often of those who claim to love Christ show otherwise.... Yet to fill my heart with hate, bitterness or to leave the church isn't what Christ would want. He would want me to face the rejection and condemnation He did yet still bring many to Christ despite the Pharisees who are out there.

If my story helps just one, I've done my job.

May I remember my own lesson here too. There are times I am nowhere near what I should be. I get in my own way often and I get in God's way even more often.

-----------------------------------------------

In light of what a Facebook friend shared, I edited her post some with permission and wrote up one that fits us. I will end today with that. Her post was about politics but I think in many ways, it goes well beyond that.
"I have never, since I got on Facebook, thought about leaving it. I found it such a wonderful place to keep up with friends and family but most especially the families I have met on this medical journey. But, since the election and honestly well before that, all I see is ugliness. Veiled statuses casually insulting people while looking like it's just an off-the-cuff remark... Not even all of it being political posts... Supposedly not directed and anyone in particular. I used to think it brought people together but I'm starting to feel like it's tearing them apart. I have family members who won't say a thing when I post pictures of my children or statuses about their accomplishments but they lay in wait for me to make one tiny comment about my opinion or how I feel about something then pounce in, or they call me chewing me out. Even people who I thought were real friends or those within the church. Yet most don't bother to ask me how the kids are to my face, and if they do, they don't want to honestly hear it if it's more said than just "good" or "fine". It's why I hardly ever post anything that's opinionated/thoughts/feelings or anything about the kids anymore. That and when I've been honest about how an appointment or what not went, updated and gave just the facts, I got ripped apart. I mean, I'm friends with people here for a reason and it's obviously not because we don't agree about politics, religion, opinions, how others treat each other, medical world, etc. There are other things in the world then just about you. There are beautiful things and beautiful people. I see it all the time but I have to scroll through such ugliness to find them. It's getting so tiring and so painful. My mantra for the longest time has been "just scroll by" but it's getting to where there's so much to scroll by that my mantra is becoming "just log off". I personally think that friends and family supersede our political or any other opinions but I feel like I'm the only one sometimes. I've thought about unfriending people to make Facebook more digestible and to keep those who really don't want to be bothered by the good and bad of our life but these are people..... Humans. It's not just a screen that I'm looking at. The people behind the screen who are reading my words are people I could hurt and I don't want to do that. I know that it feels like it's a blank canvas where you can just throw things up and they hit a white wall and then they're gone but it's not so. Yet I don't want to be fake either. There are loving, feeling humans that are reading those things. Humans that I care about. I don't like that it has become such a stressful thing. Deleting my Facebook account is a drastic thing but I've come very close. I love Facebook for bringing me closer to family and friends because we live so far apart. Yet then why so much hate over what gets posted? I love seeing the pictures of my FB friends kids and daily lives. Facebook used to feel like I was sitting in my grandpa's living room with my family or sitting around the table with my friends. I've made wonderful new friends that I used to feel like I was hanging out with. Especially in the medical community. Now it feels like a white shield that everyone hides behind to fling hate and anger at each other, especially Facebook groups..... I'm sure that something will pop up.... a beautiful picture of someone I love, a happy face doing something they love, an awesome song or an inspirational story that proves there's still good in the world and I hope it does because all I've seen on here lately, and almost all the time now are careless thoughts flung out into the universe designed to show how much better someone is than someone else because they think one way and the other person doesn't. Or it's to brag about this or that and yet when your neighbor has it rough, all ignore them. It's sad. Really, really sad. What happened to truly "love your neighbor" and treat others as you want treated? What happened to the world where everyone helped everyone regardless of who they were? I thought that was what "love your neighbor" was. Just know, whoever reads this, that you're my friend. You're my family. I love and care for you and I respect you. You're beautiful to me in ways that only you can be. I don't want anything to ruin that yet I don't want what you say or do to ruin what Facebook is for me either. It is truly one of the few places I have that I can share the joys and heartbreaks of this medical journey with the few locals and many abroad who understand this world I'm in It also helps those who do not understand to understand... At least for those that care to. I hope you find something happy and beautiful on Facebook today. Love and peace forever.

"


Blessings!
~ Special Momma ~

Right for Life

Consider this your disclaimer that this post isn't roses.....

"Either life is always, and in all circumstances, sacred, or intrinsically of no account; it is inconceivable that it should be in some cases the one, and in some the other."

~ Malcom Muggeridge ~

I don't know if you have heard of this story or not. A friend on Facebook shared it some time ago, I posted about it in an old blog and now I am here. I was reminded of this story yesterday morning. Though I have also never forgotten about either of the two stories I'm about to share. Both broke my heart.... We have come a long way with special needs children but we still have a ways to go.


"Today Baby Doe Died

Today was the day in 1982 when Baby Doe died in a maternity ward in a hospital in Indiana. He died because his doctor advised his parents that they could “do nothing.”
As covered in this post, Baby Doe was a child born in Bloomington, Indiana. He was born with a disconnected esophagus–a condition that at that time could be successfully repaired 90% of the time.

But his doctor, Walter Owens, advised the baby’s parents to not consent to surgery and instead let him die. He advised them:

    That it would still be a mongoloid, a Down’s syndrome child with all the problems that even the best of them have.  That they did have another alternative which was to do nothing.  In which case the child [would] probably live only a matter of several days and would die of pneumonia

probably . . . . Some of these children . . . are mere blobs.

That was how Dr. Owens recounted the advise he gave Baby Doe’s parents in sworn testimony to the U.S. Commission on Civil Rights. Dr. Owens, himself, “had little experience with mental retardation, but he had a niece with a retarded child, and it seemed to be his view (though not necessarily his niece’s) that this had ruined his niece’s life.”

Two other doctors had advised to transfer the child to a hospital in Indianapolis for surgery. Dr. Owens reminded the parents that the surgery “could do nothing about the Down’s [sic] syndrome. *** ‘However, he informed the parents, ‘you do have an alternative,’” advising they could refuse consent for the surgery.  Regarding his niece’s child with intellectual disabilities:

Obviously this has colored my thinking on the survival of such children.  I believe there are things that are worse than having a child die.  And one of them is that it might live.

Jeffrey Lyon, a reporter, investigated the case and wrote a book entitled Playing God in the Nursery. From his interviews and investigation of medical records, he described Baby Doe’s very short life. By the fourth day, the baby boy

was crying from hunger, and his lips were parched from dehydration.  His ribs were sticking out, the result of respiratory strain caused by the tracheoesophageal fistula.  That afternoon, when the stomach acid started corroding his lungs, he had begun to spit blood.

Families petitioned to adopt Baby Doe and a lawsuit was brought to require medical care be provided. Dr. Owens testified in defense of his advice to let the baby die and other physicians testified that medical care should be provided. The court found:

Mr. & Mrs. Doe, after having been fully informed of the opinions of two sets of physicians have the right to choose a medically recommended course of treatment for their child in the present circumstances.

The court’s decision was concurred with by a Child Protection Committee hearing. A subsequent hearing was held to declare the child neglected under state law, but:

the Court finds that the State has failed to show that this child’s physical or mental condition is seriously impaired or seriously endangered as a result of the inability, refusal, or neglect of his parents to supply the child with necessary food and medical care.

[Let that sink in for a moment].

The Indiana Court of Appeals denied an immediate hearing to review the decision and the Indiana Supreme Court denied a petition for emergency relief to order medical treatment.
Baby Doe died six days after he was born in 1982 on today, April 15. Cause of death:

Chemical pneumonia, due to the regurgitation of his own stomach acid.

The gross injustice throughout the Baby Doe case is not something to be forgotten.


Happy birthday, Baby Doe


Update: In October 2014, I was able to bring a measure of justice, however small, to the town where Baby Doe was born and died, as relayed in this post.

"He died, though, not because his esophagus wasn’t connected.

He died because he had Down syndrome."

Continued from a follow-up link,
"Today (April 15th, 2012) would have been Baby Doe’s 31st birthday. But, Baby Doe had Down syndrome and his doctor believed some individuals with Down syndrome were “mere blobs.” The doctor’s medical advice to Baby Doe’s parents was that they should let their child die from lack of care. I wrote about this in 2010. Re-reading the column, I was reminded of then-current examples of these views still being expressed and practiced. Lest we think this attitude towards withholding care to babies with Down syndrome is long past, just in 2012 academics argued in favor of  “after birth abortions,” citing the high termination rate for Down syndrome to justify their position. In 2014, Richard Dawkins, noted evolutionist advised that it would be immoral to give birth to a child with Down syndrome if the parents knew beforehand.
Lest we forget, let us remember today: Happy Birthday, Baby Doe."

Baby Doe by Steve Taylor:
Unfolding today, a miracle play
This Indiana morn
The father, he sighs, she opens her eyes
Their baby boy is born

"We don't understand, he's not like we planned"
The doctor shakes his head
"Abnormal", they cry and so they decide
This child is better dead

I bear the blame, believers are few
And what am I to do?
I share the shame, the cradle's below
And where is Baby Doe?

A hearing is sought, the lawyers are bought
The court won't let him eat
The papers applaud when judges play God
This child is getting weak

They're drawing a bead, reciting their creed
'Respect A Woman's Choice'
I've heard that before, how can you ignore
This baby has a voice

I bear the blame, believers are few
And what am I to do?
I share the shame, the cradle's below
And where is Baby Doe?

Where will it end? Oh no, no

It's over and done, the presses have run
Some call the parents brave
Behind your disguise, your rhetoric lies
You watched a baby starve

I bear the blame, the cradle's below
And where is Baby?



Okay, Special Momma, that was in 1982, that doesn't apply to today. Or does it?


June 18th 2014. Any other day..... Except for all of those who followed the story of Annie. Better known as Annie Golden Heart on Facebook. She died that day. She was just over two years old. I had tears for a family I'd never know the days leading up to her passing and especially the day she did....... The pictures the family shared of her the days prior and the day of her passing were so sad and heartwrenching.... Yet doctors made it so.... 

Want to know why she died?

"Due to Annie also having Down's syndrome, she will not be placed on the heart transplant donor list. This is the only thing that can save her." source

Yes, you read that right. She died in 2014.

What makes this okay? Seriously.... What makes this okay? This should never be..... There are many with Down Syndrome and other disabilities who are "productive to society" just as anyone else. There are many "normal" people who are not productive at all. If this is the mindset those in the medical world and elsewhere have then maybe those with disabilities are more deserving of life than those who don't have. The rationale is that organs like hearts are so hard to come by, they should be saved for those Americans who will grow up to be “productive citizens” with “normal” lives. Well maybe those "normal" people who aren't productive at all should then be barred from any life saving intervention due to the same standard put on those with disabilities....

Disagree or agree? Harsh? Keep reading....

This was a really good article written about the injustice in the medical world.... http://marcusjonesdirect.com/precious-baby-died-today/

"Annie is not the first. America has treated human beings as three-fifths a person before. This time it’s not about skin color. This time a person has been discriminated against based on her genetic constitution. And this intolerance has been going on for years. There are many others besides Annie. Magazine articles and online videos abound, chronicling the systematic discrimination of people born with exceptional abilities. It is a problem that finds its roots in the “Final Solution.”
Men, women and children with Down Syndrome were among the first people exterminated in Hitler’s Nazi Holocaust–all in the name of “mercy.” Atrocities and abominations, carried out in the name of medical science, eviscerated an entire people with the steeliest resolve. “They’re not worth it,” the haters tirade. “They diminish us all!”
But in fact, who’s really the one in need of the heart transplant? Pervasive, long-antiquated prejudices are the knife-blade at the throat of America’s humanity." source

source

He went on to say,

"She died today, not because her heart failed, but because ours did. Our heart: chambers calcified with bigotry and hubris. Our heart: arteries clogged with a self-consumed penchant to play God. Don’t point at her little heart. The blame is squarely on ours.
She died today because in our minds she wasn’t “person” enough to deserve a new pump. She wasn’t whole enough to deserve a new heart—not a child enough to warrant a fighting chance."

Have you ever thought someone would never make it in life? Would ever be a "value" to society? A "Lazy leech" who will never succeed? Ever said anything like, "That r****d will never be worth anything!" A child who will never be productive because of _____ mentality? (Fill in the blank) "That kid is too ugly to get anywhere!" or any similar thoughts? Ever said them? Even thought anything like that?

If so, you are part of the problem.... I don't mince words...


Remember where Jesus said in Matthew 25

Think about this...... Yet I guess if people are going to kill Jesus for what he believed, what difference does it make if we kill the disabled..... Right? Is that not the mindset here? Is that the mindset that so many who have power in this country and across the world have? What are we going to do to change this? Do you really want to change this? I truly think we all can make a difference.

This may not be 1982 or even further in the past when children with disabilities were frowned upon and worse but even now children with special needs are often seen as helpless, worthless, different, ugly, etc. More and more are finally starting to see just how much joy and happiness those with differently abled abilities can bring to this world but we still have a long way to go. Just look at the case of Annie...... She wasn't even given the chance for a heart due to the fact that she had Down Syndrome. Her final days told the tale of what having a broken heart did to her.... It was awful....

Is Down Syndrome really THAT bad? Is any disability really THAT bad that WE have the right to play God?

These poor children suffered because a doctor let it happen, and in fact decided it should be. Does that make you angry??? It still happens!!

We get mad when our child doesn't make the cheer squad, we get mad when our child doesn't get the AR party by one point simply because they refused to read. Yet we don't get mad about this?

Oh, right.... It's not your child so not your problem, right? Come on, say it.

"Oh but Special Momma, I can't read this anymore! It's too heartbreaking!" What about the poor families who face this?!?!?! What about the children in this world who are suffering because they aren't loved, or wanted or because they have a disability that our own humankind decides they have no rights so just let them die!

Those in prison for violent crimes, for murder, for molesting kids, for killing kids, for rape, for all sorts of horrific crimes have more rights then these children with disabilities do JUST BECAUSE THEY ARE DISABLED!

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE?!?!?!

Yet all we do is sweep it under the rug because it's not our children, or your child or your niece/nephew or whatever. It's too depressing to read huh? Well then do something about it! Don't just ignore it! Yet look at Stephen Hawking..... We didn't hear stories that he should just die. Why? Is it because he was a scientist and rich? Seriously.... Why not? Yet we can tell others to die? Even those less "disabled" then he was? Why? Why is it okay for him to continue to live as long as he did yet a child with Down Syndrome or other disability is forced to die in a corner because of his/her disability? Or a child be refused a heart because of hers? Why is it okay in ANY case to be this biased?

You know how many kids are stigmatized, discriminated against and outright given a death sentence every year in this country? Supposedly the greatest nation in the world and we give more rights to eagle eggs than we do our own. Child molesters and abusers have more rights than children do in this country!

Shame on those parents who "let their child die because they don't want to deal with them"! Shame on those doctors who refuse equal care to a child just because of a disability.... Shame on the public for sweeping it all under the rug..... Shame on any politician who is okay with this. Most of all, shame on anyone who has the power to decide they can play God.....

Now, it's not just kids this happens to.

Remember Terri Schiavo?
March 31st, 2005, not long after her feeding tube was removed by order of a Florida judge acting at the request of Schiavo's husband that his wife be allowed to die. She was 41 and had spent nearly half her life in a vegetative state after suffering a cardiac arrest in 1990, causing a severe lack of oxygen and brain damage. source
The final order for the feeding tube to be removed was commenced on March 18, 2005, and Schiavo died on March 31, 2005. 13 full days.

The debate was who decided in the "right to die" case and also if she even wanted to die, despite her condition and likely not able to comprehend what was going on due to the brain damage.

It's not just children that get yanked into this..... There are other cases of this issue with ethics in pediatric and adult cases. It's worst in geriatrics. Yet who are we really to play God?

It's complicated sometimes though too..... There are cases where you have a patient who is going to die anyway..... Many families are forced into hospice and DNR orders due to no other options... I'm not talking cases like that here.

I'm talking cases where willful treatment, especially a procedure or treatment that allows for normal life, is denied to someone simply due to a disability. It doesn't matter if it's the family or physicians refusing care, it's still denying care. It's immoral and unethical. It's when you tell a family that the only reason they can't get an organ transplant is because their child is disabled. It's when you decide that just because a baby is going to be born with Down Syndrome, that they should die alone in a corner crying. It's when you decide to drown your child because they have Autism. It's when you refuse to help an infant because it has spina bifida that you are inhumane and unethical... (Another case in the Playing God in the Nursery book.) Another source

Now, what about cases where insurance is who denies care? Where they refuse life saving treatment? It's still the same to me. Unethical and inhumane ways to play God. Let's look at the situations where a patient can't afford care. Here's a good start. Another one. 

"When a patient says, “I can't afford that,” what is a physician to do? Urge the patient to proceed despite the expense? Compromise the standard of care to reduce costs? Decline to provide substandard care, and therefore any care at all? Attempt to manipulate reimbursement rules or falsely underbill for the patient's benefit? These issues may be ongoing, since patient concerns about cost are likely to resurface at costly junctures in the care plan.
A process of negotiation may ensue in which the physician attempts to justify the needed services and the patient pushes for alternative approaches that cost less. At stake for the clinician are concerns about lowering the standard of care, exposure to liability, and professional insecurity about straying from well-trodden clinical care pathways that are generally recommended. For the patient, the stakes are concerns about financial and physical well-being."

That's if the patient even seeks care.... Often they wait till it's an emergent situation and wind up at an ER. Now that's expensive..... And also likely subpar care because of the lack of medical history knowledge to work with and more.

Shall I go on?

On the flip side of this topic, this was a good article talking about rationing in the medical world.

"Rationing of health care is necessary, unavoidable, and ethically complex. The levels at which health care is rationed, and the transparency of rationing, are important structural considerations in creating a sustainable and just health-care system. Ethical rationing requires deliberate choices guided by reasonably applied principles and fair procedures. How rationing occurs is important because it not only affects individual lives but also expresses what values are most important to society. We live in a world in which need is boundless but resources are not—and medicine is not immune to the consequences of this reality."

More on my take with insurance...
So often parents who have kids with medical and or psychological issues fight alone. Really. We do much more than just care for our kids. We do more than just doctor visits. We do more than surgeries. We do more than research on what our kids are diagnosed with. We do more than drive hours each way for specialists. We fight battles we should never have to fight just to assure or children live. Welcome to the world of insurance, where sometimes they would rather have our children die than to care for them. No future for humanity without the kids of today no matter the diagnosis.

A mom, Elena Hung shared this, "Fighting insurance was not a battle I should have had to take on. I hope that by me being the advocate for my child, it will prevent others from having to go through this." - Lisa Begner, mom to 5yo with complex medical needs.

"Parents of kids with complex medical needs always speak up. When our kid is sick, we speak to doctors. If they can't get what our kid needs, we speak to insurers. If they won't help, we speak to legislators. Little Lobbyists never give up. Together, our voices are louder." That was shared in light of this post. Yet some would rather see them die anyway....

Obviously insurance is more worried about profits than life. Hospitals and clinics are sometimes just as bad.... Case in point in this entire post.... So many want to just play God....  

Where's the outcry over equality there? Oh that's right, the more money one has, the more silent everyone becomes no matter how unrighteous or evil a deed is..... Welcome to politics.... Welcome to cliques.... Welcome to pecking orders...... Welcome to the disabled especially being at the bottom of the pole...

Yet those in prison still get all medical care handed to them and we fit the bill for it all the while we allow people, including veterans to suffer and or die needlessly. Criminals have more rights than those who need care the most!

WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE?!?!?!?! Rationing or not, to tell people outright they do not deserve ___ because of a disability is just not right.......

Doctors sometimes forget the oath they took....

Hippocratic Oath- Modern Version

I swear to fulfill, to the best of my ability and judgment, this covenant:

I will respect the hard-won scientific gains of those physicians in whose steps I walk, and gladly share such knowledge as is mine with those who are to follow.

I will apply, for the benefit of the sick, all measures [that] are required, avoiding those twin traps of overtreatment and therapeutic nihilism.

I will remember that there is art to medicine as well as science, and that warmth, sympathy, and understanding may outweigh the surgeon's knife or the chemist's drug.

I will not be ashamed to say "I know not," nor will I fail to call in my colleagues when the skills of another are needed for a patient's recovery.

I will respect the privacy of my patients, for their problems are not disclosed to me that the world may know. Most especially must I tread with care in matters of life and death. If it is given me to save a life, all thanks. But it may also be within my power to take a life; this awesome responsibility must be faced with great humbleness and awareness of my own frailty. Above all, I must not play at God.

I will remember that I do not treat a fever chart, a cancerous growth, but a sick human being, whose illness may affect the person's family and economic stability. My responsibility includes these related problems, if I am to care adequately for the sick.

I will prevent disease whenever I can, for prevention is preferable to cure.

I will remember that I remain a member of society, with special obligations to all my fellow human beings, those sound of mind and body as well as the infirm.
(People of poor or deteriorated vitality; especially feeble from age. Those weak of mind, will, or character and or not solid or stable,)

If I do not violate this oath, may I enjoy life and art, respected while I live and remembered with affection thereafter. May I always act so as to preserve the finest traditions of my calling and may I long experience the joy of healing those who seek my help.

One comment made on Facebook said this,  "I think the problem isn't whether the healthcare system is for profit or a state system.  Arguing about that is missing the forest for the trees...when the real problem is ABLEISM.  The very fact that we seem certain lives unworthy based on criteria like IQ, method of communication used, ambulatory or nonambulatory, blind or sighted, deaf or hearing.  The fact remains that no matter who pays for medical care, we deem certain lives unworthier than others.  That's the core issue.  It's antithetical to justice, compassion and humanity, and it rots a society from the inside. I feel really strongly about this issue.  There are still laws on the books that allow a DNR to be placed in a patient file without parental consent if a child's care is deemed futile.  Just straight up disrespectful to the families of ill children.  Are there some futile cases, yes.  Still wrong not to involve the parents at all...and then there's the issue of such orders being placed solely on the basis of a genetic diagnosis instead of the individual symptoms of the patient (i.e., trisomy 18).  It's just so much wrong with this system." Suzi W. 



The consolation in all of this I guess is at least once they pass at the hands of those who wish to play God, they really get to go to God and will live in peace at paradise eternally....At least there mankind won't eat their own......

"When you look at these decisions at the core, the most devastating, chilling and horrific tragedy is not really the death of the babies because at least you know they're going to heaven after these atrocities are committed: it's the complete lack of concern and sympathy of the parents, especially the mothers. Never before in history has there ever been such an attitude of complete disregard toward babies by the very people who should care and protect them the most."
~ Unknown - A pastor's wife ~

~ Special Momma ~

"However low it flickers, or fiercely burns, life is still  Divine flame which no man dare resume to put out, be his motives ever so humane and enlightened."
~ Malcom Muggeridge ~