It takes a village

This post was born due to reading this yesterday.

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A mom I know shared it on Facebook. Maybe I shouldn't have but I replied with, "The same should go for special needs families. I think like the article said, too many have blinders on and have forgotten what we are all called to do and that is to take care of the village, no matter what, no matter who is in it and no matter social or financial status of those in that village."

So why don't we?

One part really resonated. "“Has anyone brought you a meal or asked to watch the kids to give you a break?”  “No”, she said. “But plenty of people tell me they are praying for me." Where was the church body in this? The body of Christ?  The Village?  Why was it in a church full of young families, constant play dates, and VBS, this family was receiving no support from the church body?"

The page had more, it gave ideas for people within the church to reach out to those who have foster kids. It said the village (church/community) had a job to take in orphans or care for those who have orphans, no matter how long it lasts. It also mentioned sending your kids over to play with the kids who are in foster care. Sign up for meals and bring a meal at least once a month, offer to clean a room in the house for the caretakers, and more.

I love these ideas! Now, how can we incorporate that beyond just foster care?

"I got no clue what you are going through but I wish I could help." Words that people need to say more to those around them. ASK how you could help those around you. I'd wager 9/10 you will get taken up on that offer for something! That goes for ANY family in need. Foster, special needs, grieving, etc.

There is a need beyond just foster care that's not being addressed. Many in those families suffer badly too.

Special needs families. Let's start there..... Now "special needs" is very broad, yet it all means that the family has one or more children who are not considered "normal". That can be anything from a family dealing with dyslexia, ADHD, asthma, diabetes all the way to wheelchair, vent dependent, on hospice, life support, and so much more... It would take me a year to list everything and then I would still miss stuff.

Okay so what about families who lost their main breadwinner. Either through death, lay-off, fired, divorced, whatever. Do you realize how much that changes their world? What they fear and face? Would you help them? Why or why not? Would you help them for a day? Week? Month? Six months? Would you cut them off at a given point, no matter the reason help is needed?

Now what about a homeless person on the street? Would you help them? Would you lead them to getting back on their feet? Would you serve food to them? Would you sit down with them and find out their story?

Why or why not? Is it because after a while, you would think they were leeching? Using you? Using the church? Using whomever? Abusing the system? Making people pity them? Using their storms to take advantage of others or receive pity parties?

That's beside the point though. Really! Don't believe me? See this.

"The inconvenient reality of compassion: While discussing James 2 this morning in life group, the issue of poverty and "the poor" came up. There was some comparison of the poor here to the poor around the world, and the assertion that many American poor are that way, to some extent, by their own choosing, or purposely as a way to "game the system" (is that a phrase?). It's hard to want to help and show compassion to people who put themselves in a position of need. But if we're going to claim Christianity, and show the love of Christ to the world, then their needs and what we can do to help should be the only two points of interest. How they got where they are, or their attitude towards our help, or their willingness to change their ways don't matter. The love of Jesus is unconditional towards us. We didn't earn what He freely gave us, we often don't show gratitude for our salvation, and we chose, and continue to choose actions (sin) which require Help that we can't provide for ourselves. It's a good thing that when God looks down at us, living our lives marred by sin, and disgusting compared to His holiness, that He doesn't roll His eyes and shake His head, like we're some bum with a cardboard sign. Because we are all about as worthy of Salvation as the bum on the side of the road is entitled to my help. That's Christianity; helping BECAUSE it's needed, and not worrying about WHY it's needed. And that is a very inconvenient idea, especially in our Americanized church""


Do we treat these kids and their families like they are in the village? All the time? Sometimes? Not at all? What if you don't like someone in that village? Don't like what they say? Don't like what they post? Don't like what they wear? Get the point?

In all reality...................





It doesn't matter!

If we are going to claim to follow Christ, then none of those differences SHOULD matter. Yet then why does it?



And before you get your feelings hurt, I am not writing this because of our storm. My storm right now only highlights it. It's an example of how we all lie to ourselves that we will all be that village that helps each other.

If we were then why do we categorize each other? Why do we label others? Why do we help some but not others? I've brought this up on Facebook before and usually got lectured for it but I think it's a legitimate question. How come is it that when families are in need of prayer, (No matter the reason!) some get a ton of support, profile pics changed, money raised, clusters of prayer time, long term support, etc. Yet there are other families out there largely ignored, even though they have the same needs..... Is it all just a popularity contest? The more popular gets the greater support?

When I have raised this question in the past, I have been told several answers (opinions). It's because your kids aren't sick enough. It's because you have ongoing. It's because they look healthy. It's because you chose to have special needs kids. I just need to be thankful I have people that pray for us at all. I just need to shut up and mind my own. And more.

So let me ask this:

. Who would you rather greet on Sunday morning? The man in a suit and tie, spit shine clean or the man in rags and filthy?
. Would you show more compassion to? The child on the street begging or the old woman?
. Who would you help more? The mom with a bunch of kids or the mom who leads in the church?



Now be honest here, what were your first impulse answers? I could give more examples but I think I made my point. Would you welcome all of them in or just some of them? Would you welcome them into your Bible Study class? Would you encourage those friends with you to welcome people no matter what? Or would you see what everyone else does and then sit and snicker at them because they don't look or act like YOU think they should?

I know people who have left church because of this..... It's heartbreaking really. Yet what will we do about it?

I decided to Google "What are the main reasons people leave church?" Here is what I found.


.“The pastor did not feed me. (Spiritually)”
.“No one from my church visited me.”
.“I was out two weeks and no one called me.”
."I have been out for a few months sick and nobody has said a word to me."
."The pastor and elders avoid me."
."A church that I used to go to would always tell me to “get over it”, “that’s your problem, or “you need to be more forgiving”. To me, those are valid reasons for leaving a church."
."I was seeing where the storm I was in, I had no support from anyone. Though at the same time, another person had a less severe storm and everyone flocked to her."
."Loveless, uncaring, control freaks are what people are leaving."
."It feels to me that people are so busy “doing church” that they are losing the concept of “love” in the church. You hear things like, “We want to increase the membership, spread the gospel…” There are so many reasons why church growth is sought after, and I agree people should come in, and hear the word, grow, learn, share… But, too many churches are just adding to the numbers."
."When a number of churches have a majority of cold, formal and distant member within a 90% range, we have a serious problem. Yet such a problem is ot addressed over the pulpit because “nobody wants to be criticized or ‘told’ what to do”. And more often than, men like myself are blamed instead of the church saying “The problem is not with him but is with US.”"
."The church does not want to look at the wrong thing they’re doing. If you even disagree a little they rather kick you out instead of investigating what is really going on."
."When my mom died and no one really did anything, I knew that this was not the family I wanted. The church itself is an exclusive Country Club and that is why people leave. When I have a real problem, I stay away from church. Church should be the first place I go. But instead of getting loving concern or living water, I get self- righteous filthy rags filled with dirty water."

And so much more....... OUCH!!!!

The words from Dr. Steve McSwain shares,
"Bill Gates once said, “The most unhappy customers are your greatest source of learning.”

If that is true, why are most evangelicals and fundamentalist Christians quick to say, “Those leaving the church are just not committed to Christ.” Or, worse, to quote the words of Thom Rainer, CEO of Lifeway Christian Resources, “I would therefore suggest that the main reason people leave a church is because they have an entitlement mentality rather than a servant mentality.”

Really? “Entitlement Mentality?”

If a company like Microsoft were to adopt such logic to explain declining sales or why fewer and fewer were buying its product, you don’t have to be a Bill Gates to figure out what future Microsoft would have.

If your “most unhappy customers are your greatest source of learning,” wouldn’t it be more humble, even more Christ-like, for churches and church leaders to ask, “Might there be something wrong with us?”"


Now this isn't talking of the "feel good" or the "If you are saved, life here will be perfect and you will prosper" NO! People want real. They want the truth. They want the truth in love. They want love, compassion, understanding, equality despite social classes, LOVE AND SUPPORT FROM MEMBERS!

Sheep often leave the fold because they are being abused and starved!

"When someone is hurting, absent, or in a dark place in their lives; how much effort does it take to acknowledge or maybe even appoint someone to just offer a word of encouragement. Many pastors, department heads don’t want to invest in the lives beyond their formal assignment. They often complete their assigned task, and they keep it moving. It’s the churches that completely ignore or perhaps even desert people in crisis that I see no evidence that Jesus is their driving force. If Jesus shared the parable of 1-lost sheep, or coin that was sought after, who are we that we can’t stop and at least consider our brother or sister in times of need?" ~Unknown ~

Did Jesus teach "Only be around those who have it all together" "Only talk to those who aren't "one of those" people." "Only help those that you want to help, not the mom over here who brought it on herself." "Only help the popular person with a life-threatening illness, not this family here who just lost everything." "Only help this rich person get back on their feet, not the poor person here who lives on government aid." "Only help those who help themselves."

You get the idea. So what did Jesus SAY to be like? Let's get into that.

If Jesus did what the "church" (Pharisees) then taught, he would have NEVER been near the Samaritans let alone TALKED to one! That was the law back then. Anyone who was not a Jew, had an illness like leprosy, and much more were outcasts, they were rejected, often left to suffer and die if they needed any sort of help.

The Jews and Samaritans had been enemies for hundreds of years. The Jews of Jesus' society considered the Samaritans to be unclean, socially outcast, religious heretics. (ouch!) Do we look at anyone like that? Be real now...

Jesus taught MUCH different! They hated him for it too! That's why they wanted to kill him. Doesn't sound very God like to me! Yet they claimed they were OF God and obeyed all the laws.

First off, love God then the second was love your neighbor as yourself. Verse here Well, who is your neighbor?

ANYBODY NOT YOU!

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So what does "Love thy neighbor" really mean? Let's look at that.  Now honestly we should not exclude anyone or any group because of social status, a supposed character fault, religious difference, racial difference, ethnic difference, citizenship difference, etc. Right?

"Jesus is quoting here from Leviticus 19. Let’s look at its context:

“When you reap the harvest of your land, you shall not wholly reap the corners of your field, nor shall you gather the gleanings of your harvest. And you shall not glean your vineyard, nor shall you gather every grape of your vineyard; you shall leave them for the poor and the stranger: I am the LORD your God. You shall not steal, nor deal falsely, nor lie to one another. And you shall not swear by My name falsely, nor shall you profane the name of your God: I am the LORD. You shall not cheat your neighbor, nor rob him. The wages of him who is hired shall not remain with you all night until morning. You shall not curse the deaf, nor put a stumbling block before the blind, but shall fear your God: I am the LORD. You shall do no injustice in judgment. You shall not be partial to the poor, nor honor the person of the mighty. In righteousness you shall judge your neighbor. You shall not go about as a talebearer among your people; nor shall you take a stand against the life of your neighbor: I am the LORD. You shall not hate your brother in your heart. You shall surely rebuke your neighbor, and not bear sin because of him. You shall not take vengeance, nor bear any grudge against the children of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the LORD” (Leviticus 19:9–18).

Notice that loving our neighbor would include sharing with the poor and the alien; compassion and absolute honesty and justice in our relationships with others; impartiality; a refusal to be a party to gossip or slander; an absence of malice toward anyone and a refusal to bear a grudge; taking care never to put another’s life at risk and never taking private vengeance upon another. It is also interesting to note that when we have an issue with anyone, we should strive to make it right by going to him or her directly. James calls this the “royal law” (James 2:8). Our Lord taught that we should do to others as we would have them do to us (Matthew 7:12).

It is a fact that anyone who does not have a personal relationship with God through the Lord Jesus Christ will die in his sins and face eternity in hell. Therefore, we owe it to our neighbors to lovingly share with them the good news of the gospel. True believers have been forgiven, possess eternal life, and have blessings forever as the result of others who have shared the gospel with them. God’s love is evidenced in us as we communicate this precious gospel and love others as we have been loved."  source

I also LOVED this. "Does this mean we can't satisfy Jesus' command unless we have abundant wealth to give, or extraordinary talents to serve other? No! It is not how much we give, but the spirit in which we give that counts with God. Each of us is called to give generously of what wealth and talents we have been given - whether it is a little or a lot. Jesus compared a poor widow, who gave only a little, to the wealthy men who gave much more. The wealthy men had only given a token amount from their great wealth. In God's eyes, the widow gave much more because she gave from the heart:

Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a fraction of a penny. Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, "I tell you the truth, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything- all she had to live on." (NIV, Mark 12:41-44)" (source)

How else do we show love then? Well, preaching is nice but without action, our words mean dirt. So let's look at that.

Find your neighbor
Seek out someone that God has placed on your heart. Seek out the hurting, the outcasts, the sick... Seek them and love them for who they are, not for who you want them to be.  Jesus ate with tax collectors, he talked with prostitutes and spent time with the sick.  His reputation was not even a factor.  He spent time with them because He loved them unconditionally.  We have to put pride and our reputations down at the cross if we want to truly love others. Without this, we do not.

Pray for your enemies
"Pray for those that persecute you!" No matter who hates us or who we do not like or *gasp* feel hate toward, we are required to show them love, no matter what. Show them the grace and mercy that God showed us.

Be legit
People feel love when it is really expressed. Really, though, it needs to come from the heart.  Sometimes it is better to do something that says, “I love you” than saying it. Prove you love those around you. Help them! Be there for them! Show them compassion! Be a listening ear! Reserve judgment or opinions unless they are specifically asked for. Show you care. offer to help. Offer to do examples like mentioned earlier in this post.


When we answer our neighbor like we “ought” to, they will be drawn to us.  They will notice something different about us if they are not already a believer, and that is what attracts them.

They will feel less alone and isolated in an already tough journey..... People would be much more likely to open up and grow in Christ, the more love they feel, the more compassion and the more cared about, the more they can grow.

A rose can't grow and bloom in soil that is dry. It won't grow nearly as well in soil that isn't nourished. God allows the water, we allow the nourishment. Really God does both but that's not my point here.

How are we to grow as we should if we don't have people there to help us along? How are we to disciple to each other as Christ would, if we do this pecking order of who is more worthy?

Look at it like this:

   Living                           Dying                       Dead


Often we don't notice someone is hurting or needs help till they are spiritually/emotionally/physically dying. Sometimes it's too late to help them back.... The hurt is done, they have been betrayed, they have been turned away from faith because those they saw who said were Christian, shunned them.... Betrayed them.... Ignored them.... Left them for "dead"

Do you want to be responsible for that? People are lonely and hurting and need Jesus! They need the word of God, NOT entertainment.

Think on that. It really does take a village and that village needs to treat each other as Christ commanded. No labels!

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The biggest tragedy we could have is to get to heaven and find out that many of the lost that we could have led to Christ, didn't because of behavior like this.


~ Special Momma ~

#WhatYouDontSee

That's a hashtag going around through a The Mighty video about depression.

Yes, I'll come on here and admit that's one of my struggles.  I have some others but that's irrelevant right now. (I mean who DOESN'T have struggles?) My tendencies toward depression is NOTHING like it was when I was 12-13, however I can't lie and say it's not there.

Here were the three that I know I face...

How painful it is when people dismiss your problems or aren't respectful of your feelings.

The daily battle of negative and intrusive thoughts constantly in my head.

The difficulty it is to listen to the right voices, the ones that want to help you, rather than the ones that stigmatize or judge.

That's what this storm has taught me..... It has shown me so much and honestly it's eye opening yet also stings, bad.....

I won't get into more of that stuff specifically but honestly, the struggle is real....

Looking up at the night sky makes me think of my heart right now being in that deep, dark abyss with just a small beam of light shining out with that light only visible to those willing to see me. How the moon can be seen by everyone, so few can see the light within me. The small light is best seen when it is dark, hence why you can see stars at night when it's dark. Yet so few are willing. Those who do, quickly flee in terror over what they see or hear. I guess my wounded and scarred soul is a fearsome beast. Yet nobody sees the tears or the ache.

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Yet I know I should watch how I say things, I don't regret that I'm very open with what I think and yet am blunt about it. Yet when it comes to things like this, even there I'm silenced.... Often by those who promised to listen.... 

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Today the chapter on Dallas officially closed. Unless a Lazarus coming back from the dead miracle happens, the funeral was today. I fear the future honestly. I fear who will take over seeing my kids.....

I need reassurance and love and I have neither. Or at least it feels like it.....


This whole thing has me between two huge boulders with the cliff edge under me..... That's how stuck I feel with this storm.... This is where insurance put us....

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Top that off with this morning I learned of another chiari patient died. It's the third one I know of this week. Two of them were from chiari complications.

So yeah.... I've also been told again that I need to be quiet and quit posting stuff anywhere.

#WhatYouDontSee

The battles I face, I share to help others through theirs yet it's also honestly therapy in a way for me. Oh yeah, I've been told I need professional help too more than once in the last couple of weeks. Well, if people want to pay that copay then go right on ahead. All they will do is suggest better coping ways beyond writing. It's not like they could change anything that has happened, is happening or will happen.

Though I also confess to you all that finding the silver lining, the rainbow in this storm has proven difficult. Yeah, I am thankful we still have insurance, yet so much unknown, so much uncertainty, so much fear.....

Fear....

That's exactly where I am. We all get afraid of things at one time or another, even if we won't admit it. Yet when I read where more with chiari are not surviving, or where three cranio kids also died recently, (Medical related deaths all were) then what else are you supposed to do? I'm always told to "give it to God" and those people that tell me that walk away, not willing to listen when I need it.


Really......


And yet so many wonder why I post what I do about how we as the church should be towards one another. I saw more "church" among strangers on the news helping each other in Houston then I see in American church pews!

Yet many wonder why writing is my therapy.....
My December sure has been my song for this storm and also Audiomachine - Requiem of the Night

Probably not the "best" music but it is what I feel...... The longer the storm goes on, the more silence I hear and it's very loud to the point of deafening.....


Yet at least I know God has not left..... Even though it's hard to hear Him right now too.... I know eventually this storm will have a purpose too. That's the silver lining.

I have called you back from the ends of the earth, saying, 'You are my servant.' For I have chosen you and will not throw you away.
Isaiah 41:9


Blessings!

~ Special Momma ~

Do we really?

Are we really willing?

This has been making it's rounds on Facebook again. It's not the first time or the last time I've seen it. Yet are those words true? We all share that stuff, saying it's true, "Yes I'd do that!"

Do we really though?

I gotta be real with you.....



I'm broken and lost guys.... I really am....

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My core feels like it's been ripped out of me, yet so many just stomp on it......


Or at least that's what it feels like.....

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Look into these eyes. What do you see?

  
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Does one bear the soul and one look "normal"? How would you describe the "normal" one? What feelings or emotions do you get out of them? Be honest now.

Is it something like, broken? Emotional distress? Shattered? Void? Empty? Shattered? Stared at the eclipse too long recently?

No seriously.... The brown one is mine. Yet for the most part, it isn't seen at all as being one who has suffered, one who has been broken, one who has heard way more in her life than I ever should have.

I fight because I have to... Because I have no choice... Because if I don't, then I have failed. If I don't fight, who will? God gave me my kids, it's my job to get what they need.... Fighting for the last 30ish years is the only way I have survived, though even survival almost didn't happen at times..... I have learned that I can't  give up, no matter how bad it gets.... Even to a fault..... Losing a battle or war is the hardest thing to swallow.


Though I can't do it all alone, even though I usually do........
 

Yet I think if we all took the time like that pic said:

I think that would make a HUGE difference..... I'll get more into that in a bit. I have much to share, good and bad.
We have been having a really hard time with insurance bureaucratic stuff for a good month now, and it came crashed down August 11th and has been continuing since. Insurance through employment changed as of July 1st. All of the fighting, advocating, hope, paperwork, and it all crashed down August 11th.... Yet really of all of those that have asked me either how I'm doing or more specifically about the insurance, only two have listened and stuck with me as the days have dragged on......

I admit I've been really down about it too... I really have. So few words have been of support, most have been telling me to get over it, even those who I thought would support, want nothing to do with it. I'm ignored, I'm told to get over it, I'm told to quit griping, I'm told to suck it up, I'm told I'm a bad parent because I can't afford to pay out 60% plus for everything in Dallas now, and more... How the heck are we supporting people behaving like that? Most of what I have heard this negative stuff from are people within the church!!!! (Not saying MY church but "the church") Fellow believers, those who claim to follow Christ!

Last I checked, Jesus didn't teach like that!

This is what I have to say to health insurance companies too: Don't tell me you care about patients, families and all of that if you really are full of yourself and don't even know a dang thing you are talking about. If you know nothing about the healthcare world and what it really is, you have no business in it. Period! That goes for anyone down to the office staff taking in patients all the way up to the fat cats in politics and insurance companies..... It's amazing how much power insurance has in who you can and cannot see, what procedures you can have and can't have done and when, and really if you live or die. It's BS! Sometimes the hospitals/clinics are just as bad if not worse......

BUT!

While driving to Celebrate Recovery, August 17th, I saw a sun dog and a sun halo. Sundogs have always been a sign to me of my grandpa. A sun halo has been a sign of God reminding me to "hang in there" as I was going through a bad storm when I remember seeing the first one when I was 19. God whispered then to hang on a bit longer. That's how I see them now. I saw both together just before walking into CR that night. I was told before the worship time that I would be leading the adult women of family dysfunction group and when it starts. Soon after Worn was played that night also during worship time.... Pierced me as that is right where I was......

Later that evening, I got to thinking that this whole insurance storm has been a test of my faith due to that I am soon leading a group of women. I sound crazy but for those of you who have been through it, know what I mean. I'll say this though, If there was a grading system to get into Heaven, I'd pass with a D- likely. lol Faith requires action and belief.... Sometimes the hardest to keep in the storms.....

This last Monday the battles and the brick walls started all again..... So did the tears. I swear you guys, I have cried more tears since August 11th then I even did when I lost my middle child in miscarriage..... Yeah..... I have not had tears since though at least... That's something right???

Tuesday while I had to get a filling done, (joy) and some song lyrics popped into my head out of nowhere. I had not even admittedly listened to this song in a while. 

"Your world's not falling apart, it's falling into place
I'm on the throne, stop holding on and just be held
Just be held,"

Then on the way to do an errand after the dentist, I saw this. One church sign, both messages.

I just wish I could have gotten the chance to tell everyone in Dallas goodbye..... The doctors, nurses, staff, Ronald McDonald House..... All of that is gone.... I want to see how this storm is used already though.... I'm done hurting from this mess......Yet I blame insurance for it all....

Goodbye to this skyline......

The pain is real guys.... It may sound really stupid to some but it really is real..... 10 years.... So much talk though of that I just need to let this go, I need to suck it up, I need to pay up or shut up, etc.

So....... Keep thinking of that first pic that's been going around Facebook.

Those pics of the eyes.... When you really look at someone, do you see their soul or do you just see the shell? Most of you would say the shell right? What if I told you I and many others in this world are this.

BUT we really feel this: Our soul, our heart speaks yet so few hear.....

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Or this:

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Are those words said then to silence people really that encouraging? Is that what you want said to you when you are in a storm? Think about it....

Yesterday I posted on FB, "The church is so often focused on the "lost" that they overlook that there are many who are not lost but are hurting and struggling. We overlook that, or worse, hold judgment against them and sometimes that causes those who were saved to step away from faith.... If we can't be there for those hurting, how are we to keep those who are also lost?"

As the words from a lady who commented said, "Just a reminder, not all is due to everyone else having it together and not reaching out but everyone having their own hurts and difficulties they are trying desperately to survive. Do we as the church need to be better? Well of course we do. But I try to remember that I will not be fully redeemed until Christ comes and I receive my new body that will not be fighting constantly with my flesh. I feel like Paul most days when he says I do what I don't want to do and I don't do what I need to do.
I think one of the biggest tragedies is the game we play on social media that our family is all together and we don't have a care in the world. It's makes everyone feel like they are alone and that no one cares when in reality, the nice accolades and filtered pics are a mask of what we want our lives to be.
I feel like we are barely treading water but if you look at my social media you won't know that. At the same time I want to enjoy the good moments and share them with family and friends that I don't live close too. Treading our own waters of difficulties has made me not reach out to anyone like I know the Lord calls me too and I hate that and want to do better. May the Lord help me in it.
Pls know that I pray for you and your sweet babies and pls forgive me for not encouraging you with that."

I replied, "I'm just worn with this whole insurance storm and have seen that the less I talk about it, the better it is because I know those few who are listening are probably tired of me talking about it. Yet it's something new with it every day..... I"m afraid my kids will suffer for it yet the silence is deafening....... Even in storms past, the silence has been deafening, it's just the older I get, the louder that is"

Yet she also said that she is encouraged as a mom by my fight for my kids.

The point of that FB post was that too many are not quick to listen but are quick to judge or silence those around them...... We need to be quick to love and show compassion instead...


Today while talking to a mom who is working on a study with me, I told her what I wished for the most right now besides keeping the team we have, is us as Christians to be there for one another like we should. It hurts when you feel betrayed and isolated from those who should support you the most. I told her that's why so many posts in the blog about it. What happened to us being Christ like? I told her that night on August 11th, I had a dear mom who has been on this medical journey and then some, who came right into it with me when we started ours and has been there since. I was up messaging her till 2am, crying, yelling, sharing fears, venting, you name it. There were words said that I felt like I needed to say yet I know the talk we had would scare off most people. Yet at least I had that. I told the mom I met with today though, where is that within our churches? Where is the support? Why do we feel like when our world crashes (sometimes for the upteenth time..) we can't turn to anyone, even within our own faith?

Now perhaps there are a few we can, but then how do we overcome the fears of rejection and judgment?


When will we all take our masks off and start being real? Not just face to face but via social media too. When will we quit faking it?

Where's the support and discipleship in that? If we ourselves refuse to reach out to others who we know are in a storm or likewise us in the storm refuse to reach out to others to talk, how are we to be built up? How are we to feel love? How can we feel love when we are constantly rejected or judged?

How are we to be like Jesus and comfort others?

Think on that. I will too.... And may I do better at giving this journey to God, as I should be doing....... Just Be Held is what I should be..... I give and take back and give and take back..... I can't seem to help wanting to control everything going on around me, even in the storm....


Blessings!
~ Special Momma ~

Do we really show love?

Romans 12:9 says Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good.

But do we? Do we who claim to be Christians and love Christ REALLY believe this? Think about it.

Can you step out and see closer in to the world around you too? Now a week in a mission field in another country or state or even county is about 2% of our life for the year. That remains 98% of our time in our own country, our own neighborhood, much of that within a fifty mile radius of where we sleep at night, right?

I can't help but think on this. I heard that verse Sunday morning while there was testimony about some kids who went to Nicaragua on a mission trip.

I need to do better too about this myself here at home, but one thought I have always had about foreign trips is, what about those at home? Are we all so caught up in how impoverished other countries are that we overlook the impoverished both physically and spiritually back here in our own backyards?



An example is this video I saw the other day:

That's what's wrong with faith today. Where is the genuine love and compassion? Where is the "not going to give up" at? Is it any wonder that so many are outcasts, despised, in prison, homeless? Because they have never had anyone to genuine love them. They have never felt unconditional love. Why do we who claim to be brothers and sisters in Christ treat each other worse than we would a stranger on the side of the road needing help changing a tire? We show strangers more compassion than we do those within our own towns! Instead of seeing someone who is struggling and just ignoring them or worse, gossiping about then, stand up and see what that person needs, without judgment.

We I would dare say, are one of the most impoverished and dying from starvation spiritually than most of the nations out there in the world! What are we doing about it?

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I will point out that this isn't about asking for money, stuff or anything else but simply for people within the church to reach out to those who are spiritually starving and honestly need someone to love on them without barriers, church without walls, church without "I'll do this if you do that" mentality. However the biggest barriers I think are those among economic classes.

As shared by a friend on Facebook, B posted Sunday as well, "The inconvenient reality of compassion: While discussing James 2 this morning in life group, the issue of poverty and "the poor" came up. There was some comparison of the poor here to the poor around the world, and the assertion that many American poor are that way, to some extent, by their own choosing, or purposely as a way to "game the system" (is that a phrase?). It's hard to want to help and show compassion to people who put themselves in a position of need. But if we're going to claim Christianity, and show the love of Christ to the world, then their needs and what we can do to help should be the only two points of interest. How they got where they are, or their attitude towards our help, or their willingness to change their ways don't matter. The love of Jesus is unconditional towards us. We didn't earn what He freely gave us, we often don't show gratitude for our salvation, and we chose, and continue to choose actions (sin) which require Help that we can't provide for ourselves. It's a good thing that when God looks down at us, living our lives marred by sin, and disgusting compared to His holiness, that He doesn't roll His eyes and shake His head, like we're some bum with a cardboard sign. Because we are all about as worthy of Salvation as the bum on the side of the road is entitled to my help. That's Christianity; helping BECAUSE it's needed, and not worrying about WHY it's needed. And that is a very inconvenient idea, especially in our Americanized church" B went on to say in the comments, "I do think the church should be a place and group that transcends the effects of social class, but unfortunately, often you still find the "us" and "them" cliques"

Now I gotta say those cliques go way beyond just money. They go to where you were born, where you went to school, what you wear, what you say, what you believe in, and so much more. High school anyone?

So that brings me to this:

Now I'm going to get a little political here. Bear with me. What about those who say they are "right to life?" How do they treat others around them? Respect is only deserved while an innocent baby in the womb yet we throw all of that out the window after they are born and tell the families "Too bad you are on your own but you are going to hell if you get an abortion."

So wait a minute, aren't most of these against abortion conservative Christian? YES! So then, where's the compassion commanded of us for those "less then us" if we condemn those who also do abortion? (No I am not pro-abortion)


Okay so then let's say you are pregnant with a child who has been just diagnosed in utero with Down Syndrome. (Or insert any other life changing diagnosis) What is that mom likely to hear? "No quality of life. Abort it!" "Iceland eliminated Down Syndrome through abortion you know." "That child will be a burden, abort it." "What? You are thinking of an abortion? How dare you!" "You better not have more kids after this because they may be defective too!" "That child is innocent and abortion is murder!" and more..... Think I'm joking? Go ask any special needs mom and they will tell you all they have been told..... Now, say that child is born and does indeed have Down Syndrome or any other "special need", what will you say now?  "You had this child, deal with it! Don't ask for help!" I know people within churches even talk like that because I have heard it. Is that the right attitude?

James 2:1-9 which says:

"My brothers and sisters, do not show prejudice if you possess faith in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ. For if someone comes into your assembly wearing a gold ring and fine clothing, and a poor person enters in filthy clothes, do you pay attention to the one who is finely dressed and say, “You sit here in a good place,” and to the poor person, “You stand over there,” or “Sit on the floor”?

If so, have you not made distinctions among yourselves and become judges with evil motives?

Listen, my dear brothers and sisters! Did not God choose the poor in the world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom that he promised to those who love him? But you have dishonored the poor! Are not the rich oppressing you and dragging you into the courts? Do they not blaspheme the good name of the one you belong to? But if you fulfill the royal law as expressed in this scripture, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself,” you are doing well. But if you show prejudice, you are committing sin and are convicted by the law as violators."

Okay, Now let's go farther.

What are your genuine thoughts of those on Medicaid? What is Medicaid to you?

Do those who are on any government program like food stamps, welfare, medicaid, social security, medicare, SSI, SSDI, etc. worth less to you than those who are not?

Which is worth less to you? The lower working class in poverty, the single mom of kids with many daddies on welfare or the upper class who are rich and on no aid whatsoever?

Be real with me. Don't sugarcoat to make yourself look good. Be honest.

Now let's get really into this: How should Christians see these people? Do they see and treat people equally or not? Why?

If you don't treat people equally, why not? No BS answers now, I want your heart answers.

I dare you to say what you think. Especially since a good handful of locals here think I'm a leech.

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Did you know everyone who is on any form of aid, despite reason or length get accused of abusing it at some point in it? Or of being leeches? Even the foster parents who's DHS custody kids in their care get it. I know of one mom who fosters kids and got nasty looks because the foster kids get WIC.
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I've been accused of gaming the system and being a leech, even by people in my church because my kids have SSI with Medicaid as secondary insurance.

Little do they know..... Yet when I explain what Medicaid really does for them, I'm blown off. Medicaid pays for therapies (ST, PT, OT) that primary doesn't, and so much more.....

I've even been told that I better not have more children lest they be leeches too. Yes, by those even within the faith that claims to believe in Christ.

By the way, we pretty much get no other help, not by family, not by society and not by the government. Nobody helps us but ourselves. Hubs works full time, I handle almost everything when it comes to school meetings, appointments, travel to said appointments and scheduling for all along with procedures.... Yet I'm just a leech.....

You would be shocked by how rampant Christians proclaim those ideas and how looked down upon one is if they are not middle or upper class.

Now all of that leads to this:

That 98% that you spend within the confines of your community, how are you impacting it? Are you truly helping others or are you out for yourself? Are you snickering and sneering at others with your buddies over how someone looks or because they are on food stamps yet pretend to show love like Christ on Sunday mornings?

Are you one to sit there in the pew and say "I am like Christ because I do this, this and this! I'm doing fine!" yet condemn those who are not as well off as you for whatever reason it is?


What do people want in a church then?


They want to see compassion, friendship, commitment, love from the heart. Real love, not the "I love you but..." or the "I love you because I have to but I want nothing to do with any other Christ like requirements." They don't want someone to avoid them because of what they look or dress like. Overlook all of that. Overlook that they talk funny, overlook that they are not from your small town. Overlook that they honestly sin differently than you.

Jesus Christ came for everyone and died for everyone, from the serial rapist and killer of children all the way to the one who tells white lies once a year yet otherwise "does awesome deeds and behaves so well."

So what are you willing to do to break those barriers and REALLY be like Christ?

You know the saying, "You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar? Though I think for each cup of vinegar, it takes two cups of sugar to sweeten it, so that would make three cups of honey?  Dang, no wonder people can't handle me.... I'm too spicy. I'm like a habanero  pepper dipped in honey. I'm sweet at first than once people feel the heat, they can't handle it. Okay, so can I then just dump that on some people and just say I was being sweet and tangy while passing on some James wisdom?

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Okay so maybe not..... Let's keep praying though for ourselves and those around us, Mmmkay? Let's have less judgment and cliques and just tear down those walls. It's really that simple.


~ Special Momma ~