I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable,
but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing.
~Agatha Christie ~
What I would tell you: Goodness, I can go so far and wide with this.... I prayed over this post.... I'm going to type till there is nothing left to say so this may be a long one.
First thing I will say before I share all of this: There is a set of sayings at my daughter's school that they are all learning to abide by. One of them says,
Seek first to understand than to be understood.
Seek first to understand than to be understood.
What I wish I could tell doctors and nurses:
Thank you for all you do and the hours you put in not just at "work" but outside of work too. Thank you for saving our children and for giving them the best life possible. I have one request though. Remember, they are our children and not just your patient that you see a thousand like us. What you may be used to seeing, we are not. What we see as not normal or borderline worrisome is something that we fret over or want answers for. Please don't look at us as paranoid or crazy or impatient. Be on our side, look at it from where we are, right here, right now. As hard as that can sometimes be, please remember, they are our children. When you say that something "isn't that bad" makes us feel inferior or worse, paranoid. It's bad enough to be brought up isn't it? Then please understand where we are when we seek answers to our questions and patiently help us understand your point of view as well as try to understand ours.
What I wish I could tell other parents:
First of all, really we are all the same. I don't see the need for cliques, competitions over who's kids are the best, who's house looks perfect or any of that. That's rubbish. What I see is we are all parents who have kids with different personalities, needs and abilities. We are not from different worlds, we are all from the same. Teach your children that as well. They have the same wishes and desires as my children do. To be respected, heard and most of all, loved.
What I wish I could tell parents like me:
If we want equal rights for our children, kindness goes a long way. Being defensive won't get us what we want. We need to be warriors and advocates but we need to be tactful too. Be what we need to be for our special gems, allow them to shine. Use sandpaper to make things shiny and smooth, not to destroy. I must accept that my children have struggles that others don't. I must accept my own shortcomings. I must accept that life is what it is. I must accept that I can and HAVE found the good in the bad. Don't live with regrets with your special and rare gems moms and dads. Cherish them, polish them and let the glorifying Light shine through them. The rays of light from our gems will shine toward anyone willing to cherish our gems for just what they are. Rare, valuable gems. On the days when all is falling apart, remember nothing is over. The story isn't over. Even if life doesn't go our way, maybe God's way really is better. I just wish my crystal ball worked. lol Don't ever get bitter either. Stay out of that because bitterness doesn't just affect you, it affects your children and everyone around you.
What I wish I could tell other children:
My children want the same things as you. We are not from different worlds, we are all from the same. You have the same wishes and desires as my children do. To be respected, heard and most of all, loved. Do not ever let a disability, race, gender or anything else stand in the way of feeling loved.
What I wish I could tell teachers and schools:
Anybody who teaches a child is a teacher. No matter what age. Thank you for the years and hours you put in to teach my children. Thank you for stepping up and helping to bring up the next generation. I have a few things to say though too. To the school district and teachers: My child is not a statistic. Put the ABLED back in disabled. Follow the IEP as written without cutting corners. That's what federal money is for. On the flip side, thank you for having our children in your schools but don't sacrifice their education just because it's harder to teach them. Include us in what is going on at school. Put cameras in classrooms so if there are issues that need addressed, they can be. Most of all, implement the "Bullying isn't tolerated" mentality. Don't just say it, DO IT! Back to teachers: Don't lose your focus. Don't get so overwhelmed that you give up. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Your students won't remember most assignments, what period they had you and sometimes not remember what grade they had you. What they will remember is how you showed them love and patience.
Sometimes teachers, you are the only light a child has in their life.
What I would tell my children:
God made you! No matter what the world says, remember that. You are a rare gem that is meant to shine in your own way. The way I see it, all of the rare gems are rare because they are the most precious. They were created differently and therefore are cherished more. The light that radiates out of you is different of that the world shows. Be different! Be you! Be kind and loving to those around you. Stand tall and proud. Do your best and NEVER give up!
What I would tell myself:
You really are not alone, even when you often feel it. Controlling and or micromanaging everything won't fix everything the way you want it or wish it. If something happens, don't blame yourself. Know you did your best with what you had. The rest is up to God. God is in control and pray to Him that your heart will be receptive to His wishes and desires not just for you and your husband but your children too. Remember the Serenity Prayer:
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that You will make all things right if I surrender to Your will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely
happy with you forever in the next.
Amen
What I would tell God:
You are an awesome God. Thank you for all we have in this world. Thank you for my husband and my children. Lord, teach me, mold me the way you desire me to be. Open my eyes and my heart to Your will, not mine. Lord I pray that I learn and gain wisdom and seek your guidance in everything I do. Lord heal my heart of it's wounds and battle scars. Reassure me that I am not a failure and that my family knows I love them. Help me teach my children to fight for what is right and what they need but also be firm yet in Your will. Even though I don't understand now, someday I will. Even though my heart carries anxiety and fear of the future, YOU hold the future! Even though I don't know what your plan is, you can make beauty from ashes.
I think I'm typed out for the day now. Now that I'm a little emotional too after writing that last part....
Please most of all, don't lose your focus beloved readers.
Don't lose your focus. Life really is about learning to dance in the rain. Dance to the cha-cha! ;) Life may be a cha-cha but I sure wish calories were burned during this dance.... I would quickly be the jeans size I was in high school! Amen?
Hope is a vital part of this journey. It is what helps you get up in the morning, move forward. Without hope, you can't hand your baby over to the paramedics, the surgeon, the nurse. Hope is why you do therapies, medications, appointments.
Tough times never last, but strong people do.
~ Robert H. Schuller ~
Blessings!
~ Special Momma ~
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