Happy 3rd birthday Cori!
A bittersweet day.... Yet also the day I found out I was pregnant with my son. Three years ago today. Yes, you read all of that right. Found out I was pregnant with my angel February 17th, 2013. On March 19th 2013 I went into the ultrasound and all I heard was silence.... No heartbeat..... Had the D&C three days later.... On the 26th my daughter made this for Cori. We did a balloon release, just us.
“Miscarriages are labor, miscarriages are birth. To consider them less dishonors the woman whose womb has held life, however briefly.”
―Kathryn Miller Ridiman
―Kathryn Miller Ridiman
A few days later I went alone for a few to my favorite overlook. I wanted to gather thoughts. During that time I was asking God to allow me to see some Daffodils as a sign that Cori was with Him in His arms. My heart knows that but the head needs a reminder sometimes..... While there I saw daffodils that were not in bloom yet. Many of them. On the way home, everywhere I looked, every yard had them bloomed. God is good. I wonder why at first though I saw unbloomed ones then as we were going home I saw bloomed ones. The daffodil is the March birth flower. That's why I asked for daffodils.
A friend said soon after when I told her about that, "Makes me think of a baby here, not very mature, just a unformed bloom. And when they are taken early, when they are in the Masters arms, they become in full bloom! Complete in Jesus! There to wait for you, their parents, loving you till that day comes. Just thoughts that went through my mind for you. God bless you!"
I never will see Daffodils the same way again.....
About a month later, a dear friend sent me this ring with aquamarine as the stone in it. Technically March 22nd was Cori's birthday, even though he/she was already gone...
George Mueller – “To learn strong faith is to endure great trials. I have learned my faith by standing firm amid severe testings.”
November 19th, 2013 will be a day always remembered. The day I heard my son's heartbeat for the first time.
At that time I didn't care what I would face, as long as my son would live. And he has. His journey is unlike one I thought I would ever embark on. I knew when I got pregnant with my angel about the craniofacial risk. Many said I was a fool to get pregnant. I got it worse when I got pregnant with my son because I had the miscarriage and "took the risk again."
It's not always been easy.... The fight for preservation of life, for quality is hard. Especially when you fight alone 99% of the time.
Yet my children are worth it. Disabilities and diagnoses are NOT who my children are. They do NOT define my children. They are not my children's personalities. They are just a part of them. God answered my prayers when He blessed me with my son. The bond him and my daughter have will never be broken either.
Blessings!
~ Special Momma ~
This story is also one reason why I get so heated about what I talked about in my last post...
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