“But rains pour down upon us, storm clouds darken the skies and we get lost in the storm. Have you been there? Wandering in the darkness, crying out only to be greeted with utter silence?"

~ Lesley Hitchens ~



"God puts rainbows in the clouds so that each of us in the dreariest and most dreaded moments can see a possibility of hope.”

~ Maya Angelou ~

Friday, October 21, 2016

I wonder, do we really value life?

This post may sound somewhat political but I hope what I say also makes an impact...

I confess I watch a lot of TV shows. Code Black, Chicago Med and Blue Bloods are my favorites. The other night I was shocked with how Chicago Fire ended. Jimmy has had a lot of issues going on, thanks to losing his brother and I hate what happened to him.





To this....


The most common comment I kept reading about what happened to him was "Now he's Two Face" "He looks like the Phantom" "He was cute but now he's ugly" "What an idiot, he asked for that."

The show of course is fiction but reading comments and even hearing some Christians talk like that shows the state of what we think. I am a mother to two kids with a craniofacial syndrome, one also has chiari malformation and a few related issues to that. Both are/have developmental delays to varying degrees as well. Cruel things have been said about them but most of that is nothing compared to what many of these kids face.Too often they are looked at only for their diagnosis and nothing more. 

There is a family that their son was made into a cruel meme. I made a blog post on here about that a while ago back. Look at this little boy, do you see ugly in that? The meme compared him to a pug. This kind of thing happens too often. On a slightly different line, a majority of the pictures of people who are ill (especially children) that encourage you to like/share/say amen to are pictures that have been stolen from a genuine person, who is probably totally unaware that their picture is being used. Jameson didn't do anything to deserve this. There's more on the inside that just what you see and everyone is beautiful in their own way. Jameson and so many other kids don't deserve to be treated badly. God created these gems, so who are we to call HIS gems ugly? Who are we to tell a parent they can't have more kids because of a risk of facial defects? Are they really DEFECTS? I don't think so. Yeah, doctors are required. Surgeries are required yet how we all look is what makes each and every one of us unique. Instead of telling shining gems they are ugly or they should have been aborted or whatever else, why don't we instead help them shine? Polish them so they shine even brighter. It is those with "special needs" who are the rarest of gems and who are often the gentlest of souls that has not allowed the world to harden them. 



Look up the book Wonder, it has brought to light about the craniofacial world but there is so much farther we need to go in the rights and treatment of those around us.

"Life is the right of every child. Not a special privilege for the fortunate, the planned and the perfect." Rebekah Peterson


Bible Study Wednesday night we were going over one of the chapters in the book we are doing. Here are two of the biggest parts I highlighted.

(1) "position in society — a pecking order, if you will. Money is certainly a component of that, because that’s what we most often use to keep score. For most of us, it’s a key ingredient to success, but it’s not just about money. It’s about prestige and clout. It’s about respect and recognition. It’s about having the right seat at the table, the right space in the parking lot, the right title on the business card, and the right clothes in the closet. It’s about getting the watch, the trophy, the promotion, or the award."

― from "Gods at War: Defeating the Idols that Battle for Your Heart"

(2) "Success is a word we use to speak of something that we have done and accomplished. The circumstances of your life can be the same, but the word blessed is an indication not that you have done something, but that something has been done for you. Let me put it this way: success is when we achieve; blessed is when we receive. If we say “I’m successful,” we are giving the glory to ourselves. When we say “I’m blessed,” we are giving the glory to God."
― from "Gods at War: Defeating the Idols that Battle for Your Heart"


Let's talk about number (2) for a second. The last thing I said before class let out was that when my son was born, I was told by someone within that "You must not be blessed because you were born with yet another child with issues. I'll pray for you." The looks on their faces...... I also told them what my retort was: "You know, I actually am blessed with my kids because by facing medical issues, I'm forced to stay humble and rely on God as we are supposed to do." That person has never said a word to me since. Many count on successes to get them anywhere but maybe, just perhaps it's blessings too.

Let me tell you though too, through the thick of it, it's hard to cling to that. Often I feel like I'm at the bottom or near bottom of the totem pole, the bottom of the pecking order as (1) put it. I always have been. That's not okay honestly but I am finally starting to just accept it. I'm starting to like staying as a hermit at home instead of being out in groups of people being reminded, usually in silent communication, where my place is socially here. (Silent being obvious silence, where they sit vs me, social life, etc) Yet what I'm about to talk about may lower me on the scale but I don't care. I have been told often by a few that I'm way too outspoken and bold and that I just need to learn to be quiet. Yet what I need to say here, needs said...... 

If we are going to preach pro-life, all lives matter, disabled lives matter and all of that, then what I'm going to say needs to be taken into account too. We can't just say "I'm pro-life because God says lives matter." We have to be more than that. 

"Life is the right of every child. Not a special privilege for the fortunate, the planned and the perfect."Rebekah Peterson



Back to
(2) I also want to share the following. Forgive me if I sound a little political but this part of the POTUS debate the other night really bothered me. Please read all of this. I talk about abortion, adoption and foster care. I went through many links to try to find the most neutral when it came to abortion. I wanted facts and only facts..... This will be hard to read but please..... I do give facts and information about adoption and also about foster care. If we are going to say we are pro-life or pro-choice, I want all of the facts out there. I have lost a baby through missed miscarriage before and had to have a D&C and especially since that, I have had a much harder time understanding how people can view things the way they do sometimes..... 
My world crashed March 19th, 2013 during my first ultrasound. Days after seeing P.O.D again for my daughter especially. Utter silence and stillness on the ultrasound..... My baby had died two weeks before. One of the things said to me that stuck out that day wasn't the "I'm so sorry" that so many said, (Thank you) but the "Maybe the Muenke was just too much for this one." 

Yeah...... I did find out later what I believe the cause was and craniofacial had nothing to do with it. It was really an odd thing actually I had never heard of before. Even the craniofacial surgeon said Muenke would not have caused my baby's death..... 

The silence in the room during my ultrasound even now hits me. Cori would have been days away from being three now. Boy? Girl? Two songs were stuck in my head for a while after this. Especially Hold Me Now by RED.

More of my story on that here. That's why I also was so heated, she was so flippant and almost proud of those that abort... I can never approve of abortion but what I share here goes sooooo much deeper than that..... And it makes me see why some do, though I can't agree......... It's all heartbreaking....  


https://www.facebook.com/amandaleighroach/posts/1142246772530177


Here's a few facts about abortion I want to put out here.
(source)


"Twenty-one percent of all U.S. pregnancies (excluding miscarriages) end in abortion. (AGI)." Miscarriages and stillbirth are NOT part of these statistics.

What types of abortion is there that clinics do?
(I honestly had tears reading some of this..... I also tried to stick with neutral sites, facts only.)


There are several types. There is surgical abortion where sometimes a D&C is done usually first trimester, D&E which is what many think of with partial birth is done in the 2nd and 3rd trimesters,  late term abortion where sometimes a D&X is done in the 3rd trimester and there is a pill one that can be done early in pregnancy that basically causes a forced miscarriage. There is also a FB post that explains late term abortions. This guy shares about abortion as well. He's an OBGYN. I have the types highlighted with links that explain what and how those are done but I will not get that graphic in here. 

(Sorry, had to take a break after reading all of that....) 



WHY DO ABORTIONS OCCUR?


. On average, women give at least 3 reasons for choosing abortion: 3/4 say that having a baby would interfere with work, school or other responsibilities; about 3/4 say they cannot afford a child; and 1/2 say they do not want to be a single parent or are having problems with their husband or partner (AGI).
. Only 12% of women included a physical problem with their health among reasons for having an abortion (NAF).
. One per cent (of aborting women) reported that they were the survivors of rape (NAF)

. In 2009, the average cost of a nonhospital abortion with local anesthesia at 10 weeks of gestation was $451 (AGI).
. Abortions are very common. In fact, 3 out of 10 women in the U.S. have an abortion by the time they are 45 years old. (source)

. It is estimated that that since 1989, 70 percent of Down syndrome fetuses have been aborted. (source

. Over a third of women getting abortions are white.  Over half are 20-somethings. Almost half make incomes under the federal poverty level. Most are already mothers. Cost matters to many of these women and while states can’t ban abortion outright, they can — and do — pass laws that make it more expensive.


Imagine how many other "disabled" babies have been......

I'm going to share a somewhat long post but really think on this one.



"Each year in America fewer and fewer disabled infants are born. The reason is eugenic abortion. Doctors and their patients use prenatal technology to screen unborn children for disabilities, then they use that information to abort a high percentage of them. Without much scrutiny or debate, a eugenics designed to weed out the disabled has become commonplace.

Not wishing to publicize a practice most doctors prefer to keep secret, the medical community releases only sketchy information on the frequency of eugenic abortion against the disabled. But to the extent that the numbers are known, they indicate that the vast majority of unborn children prenatally diagnosed as disabled are killed.
Medical researchers estimate that 80 percent or more of babies now prenatally diagnosed with Down syndrome are aborted. (They estimate that since 1989, 70 percent of Down syndrome fetuses have been aborted.) A high percentage of fetuses with cystic fibrosis are aborted, as evident in Kaiser Permanente's admission to The New York Times that 95 percent of its patients in Northern California choose abortion after they find out through prenatal screening that their fetus will have the disease.
The frequent use of eugenic abortion also can be measured in dwindling populations with certain disabilities. Since the '60s, the number of Americans with anencephaly and spina bifida has markedly declined. This dropping trend line corresponds to the rise of prenatal screening. Owing to prenatal technology and eugenic abortion, some rare conditions, such as the genetic disorder Tay-Sachs, are even vanishing in America, according to doctors.
"There really isn't any entity that is charged with monitoring what has been happening," says Andrew Imparato, head of the American Association of People with Disabilities. "A lot of people prefer that that data not be collected. But we're seeing just the tip of the iceberg. This is a new eugenics, and I don't know where it is going to end."

"I think of it as a commercial eugenics," says Andrew Kimbrell, executive director of the International Center for Technology Assessment. "Whenever anybody thinks of eugenics, they think of Adolf Hitler. This is a commercial eugenics. But the result is the same, an intolerance for those who don't fit the norm. It is less open and more subtle. Try to get any numbers on reproductive issues. Try to get actual numbers on sex-selection abortions. They are always difficult to get."
Intellectual arguments in favor of eugenic abortion often generate great public outcry. Princeton professor Peter Singer drew fire for saying, "It does not seem quite wise to increase any further draining of limited resources by increasing the number of children with impairments." Bob Edwards, the embryologist who created the first test-tube baby through in vitro fertilization, has also drawn protests for predicting that "soon it will be a sin of parents to have a child that carries the heavy burden of genetic disease. We are entering a world where we have to consider the quality of our children."
But these comments, far from being unthinkable, reflect unspoken mainstream attitudes and practice. Only through political gaffes (and occasional news stories) is eugenic abortion ever mentioned, such as the time in 2003 when a blundering Hillary Clinton objected to a ban on partial-birth abortion because it didn't contain an exemption for late-term abortions aimed at the disabled. Women should not be "forced" to carry a "child with severe abnormalities," she said.

In a Spectator interview, Sen. Rick Santorum of Pennsylvania recalled his 2003 exchange with Clinton on the Senate floor in which she endorsed eugenic abortion. "It was pretty revealing. She was saying there had to be an exemption for disabled children being aborted as opposed to healthy children being aborted," he says. "When she realized what she was advocating for, she had to put in the general niceties. But I don't think you can read her comments and come to any other conclusion than that the children with disabilities should have less constitutional protection than children who are healthy."
He added that "the principal reason the Democrats defended the partial-birth abortion procedure was for pregnancies that have 'gone awry,' which is not about something bad happening to the life of the mother but about their finding out the child is not in the condition that they expected, that it was somehow less than wanted and what they had hoped for."
What Clinton blurted out is spoken more softly, though no less coldly, in the privacy of doctors' offices. Charles Strom, medical director of Quest Diagnostics, which specializes in prenatal screening, told The New York Times last year, "People are going to the doctor and saying, 'I don't want to have a handicapped child, what can you do for me?' " This attitude is shared by doctors who now view disabled infants and children as puzzling accidents that somehow slipped through the system.
University of Chicago professor Leon Kass, in his book "Life, Liberty and the Defense of Dignity," writes that "at my own university, a physician making rounds with medical students stood over the bed of an intelligent, otherwise normal 10-year-old boy with spina bifida. 'Were he to have been conceived today,' the physician casually informed his entourage, 'he would have been aborted.' "
The impulse behind prenatal screening in the '70s was eugenic. After the Roe v. Wade decision, which pumped energy into the eugenics movement, doctors scrambled to advance prenatal technology in response to consumer demand, mainly from parents who didn't want the burdens of raising children with Down syndrome. Now prenatal screening can identify hundreds of conditions. This has made it possible for doctors to abort children not only with chronic disabilities but common disabilities and minor ones. Among the aborted are children screened for deafness, blindness, dwarfism, cleft palates and defective limbs.
In some cases, the aborted children aren't disabled at all but are mere carriers of a disease or stand a chance of getting one later in life. Prenatal screening has made it possible to abort children on guesses and probabilities. The law and its indulgence of every conceivable form of litigation have also advanced the new eugenics against the disabled. Working under "liability alerts" from their companies, doctors feel pressure to provide extensive prenatal screening for every disability, lest parents or even disabled children hit them with "wrongful birth" and "wrongful life" suits.
In a wrongful-birth suit, parents can sue doctors for not informing them of their child's disability and seek compensation from them for all the costs, financial and otherwise, stemming from a life they would have aborted had they received that prenatal information. Wrongful-life suits are brought by children (through their parents) against doctors for all the "damages" they've suffered from being born. (Most states recognize wrongful-birth suits, but for many states, California and New Jersey among the exceptions, wrongful-life suits are still too ridiculous to entertain.)
In 2003, Ob-Gyn Savita Khosla of Hackensack, N.J., agreed to pay $1.2 million to a couple and child after she failed to flag Fragile X syndrome, a form of mental retardation caused by a defective gene on the X chromosome. The mother felt entitled to sue Khosla because she indicated on a questionnaire that her sibling was mentally retarded and autistic, and hence Khosla should have known to perform prenatal screening for Fragile X so that she could abort the boy. Khosla settled, giving $475,000 to the parents and $750,000 to the child they wished they had aborted.
Had the case gone to court, Khosla would have probably lost the suit. New Jersey has been notoriously welcoming to wrongful-birth suits ever since Roe, after which New Jersey's Supreme Court announced that it would not "immunize from liability those in the medical field providing inadequate guidance to persons who would choose to exercise their constitutional right to abort fetuses which, if born, would suffer from genetic defects."
According to the publication Medical Malpractice Law & Strategy, "court rulings across the country are showing that the increased use of genetic testing has substantially exposed physicians' liability for failure to counsel patients about hereditary disorders."
The publication revealed that many wrongful-birth cases "are settled confidentially." And it predicted that doctors who don't give their patients the information with which to consider the eugenic option against disabled children will face more lawsuits as prenatal screening becomes the norm. "The human genome has been completely mapped," it quotes Stephen Winnick, a lawyer who handled one of the first-wrongful birth cases. "It's almost inevitable that there will be an increase in these cases."
The combination of doctors seeking to avoid lawsuits and parents seeking burden-free children means that once prenatal screening identifies a problem in a child, the temptation to eugenic abortion becomes unstoppable. In an atmosphere of expected eugenics, even queasy, vaguely pro-life parents gravitate toward aborting a disabled child.
These parents get pressure from doctors who, without even bothering to ask, automatically provide abortion options to them once the prenatal screening has diagnosed a disability, and they feel pressure from society at large, which having accepted eugenic abortion, looks askance at parents with disabled children.
The right to abort a disabled child, in other words, is approaching the status of a duty to abort a disabled child. Parents who abort their disabled children won't be asked to justify their decision. Rather, it is the parents with disabled children who must justify themselves to a society that tacitly asks: Why did you bring into the world a child you knew was disabled or might become disabled?
Andrew Kimbrell points out that many parents are given the complicated information prenatal screening yields with little to no guidance from doctors. "We're leaving parents with complete confusion. Numerous parents are told by doctors, 'We think there is some fault on the 50th chromosome of your child.' A number of polls have shown that people don't understand those odds."
"There is enormous confusion out there and nobody is out there to help them," he says. The new eugenics isn't slowing down but speeding up. Not content to wait to see if a child is fit for life, doctors are exploring the more proactive eugenics of germline genetic engineering (which tries to create desirable traits in an embryo) and Preimplantation Genetic Diagnosis, which is used to select the most desirable embryos after extensive genetic testing has been done before they are implanted in mothers' wombs.
"The next stage is to actually start tinkering genetically with these embryos to create advantages such as height," says Kimbrell. PGD is a "gateway technology" that will advance the new eugenics to the point "where children are literally selected and eventually designed according to a parent's desires and fears," he says. (Meanwhile, doctors are simultaneously reporting that children born through in vitro fertilization are experiencing higher rates of birth defects than the average population, suggesting that for every problem scientists try to solve through dubious means, they create multiple new ones.)
Many countries have banned PGD. But American fertility clinics are offering it. Two-thirds of fertility clinics using PGD in the world are in the United States, says Kimbrell. "Reproductive technology is an unregulated Wild West scenario where people can do pretty much anything they want and how they want it," he says.
Charles Darwin's cousin, Francis Galton, coined the term eugenics in the 1880s. Sparking off his cousin's theory of evolution, he proposed improving the human race through eugenics, arguing that "what nature does blindly, slowly and ruthlessly, man may do providently, quickly and kindly." As eugenics passes through each of its stages, man is indeed playing God but without any of his providence or care.
Andrew Imparato of AAPD wonders how progressives got to this point. The new eugenics aimed at the disabled unborn tell the disabled who are alive that "disability is a fate worse than death," he says.
"What kind of message does this send to people living with spina bifida and other disabilities? It is not a progressive value to think that a disabled person is better off dead.""

Now you may disagree with me and that's fine..... Yet if we don't value life, then how are we to teach others to value the lives that are here, despite social status, appearances, gender, etc. On the flip side though to this, there are so many kids who are alive who feel unwanted, unloved, different...... Look at the numbers of those in foster care... This talks about that. I used to work in juvenile corrections and also used to work at a children's emergency shelter. It's heartbreaking what you see and hear. I can't divulge but I'll just say between the childhood I had and these stories I have seen and heard over the years, this country has more than just a pro-life/pro-choice crisis.

Let's keep going: Let's talk about options beyond abortion and even keeping the child that was born, healthy or not.


So how much does adoption of one child cost? source

"Costs for an adoption vary widely from $0 to $50,000 depending on the type of adoption pursued. It generally costs from $0 to $1,000 to adopt a child from a County Foster/Adopt program. These children are often older, but sometimes infants are placed.

A voluntary adoption of a newborn through a non-profit agency will generally cost between $25,000 and $40,000. Attorney adoptions of newborns generally run from $35,000 to $50,000.

How long does it take to adopt? 

To adopt an infant domestically in the United States it takes about 12 months with most placements happening between six and 18 months. This is the time between "going on the books" when your home study is completed to the time when a placement is made.

The wait time can be affected by many factors, one of the largest being how open the adoptive family's profile is. For example, a family only prepared to adopt a child of one ethnic background could potentially wait much longer than a family open to a child of any background.

And finally, these are all averages, and there is no way to predict how long it will take for any particular family to find the birthparents they were meant to match with."

Now, that's for the adoption costs themselves. Almost everything that is needed to do the adoption (cribs, food, strollers, carseats, etc.) falls on the family to buy. That can costs hundreds to thousands depending on the needs of the children and how many.

I think that's part of our issue here. An abortion costs 500 and often there are people who don't pay for them. But look at these costs for adoption. Here talks about why.

"The cost of private infant adoptions varies widely from a low of about $15,000 to as much as $50,000. Non-profit adoption agencies like the Independent Adoption Center (IAC) tend to be on the lower end of the spectrum. Nevertheless, it is still extremely expensive to adopt.

Many people ask why it costs so much to adopt. Why should you have to pay to help provide a home for a child? First, there are no government funds for a baby voluntarily placed for adoption, as there are for children removed due to abuse and neglect. However, the state does regulate agencies setting standards and oversight requirements for adoptions, which the IAC supports.


Therefore, both to comply with state regulations and to ensure best practices there are many costs associated with adoptions. An agency must pay highly educated social workers (at least Masters level) to write home studies, as well as provide counseling, termination of birthparent rights and post-placement supervision.


Agencies, like the IAC, also provide families with educational materials and resources. In addition, most agencies do outreach to potential birthparents. This requires marketing staff to develop materials, maintain websites, and buy advertising, which is also an additional expense. Furthermore, administrative staff are required to answer the phone, provide accounting services, comply with non-profit laws, ensure families are notified how many times their birthparent letter is mailed or saved online. There are also the costs any business has, such as rent, phones, Internet, and insurance.


As non-profit organizations, many agencies, including the IAC, receive both private donations and grants, but these are usually for special projects to enhance our services and do not cover the basic costs of an adoption. As a result, most of the costs to do an adoption are borne by the adoptive parents. IAC tries to help by providing a sliding scale fee structure, but even with this accommodation it is often a stretch for families to find the funds to adopt.


This is where financial aid, like adoption grants, can come into play and help more families fulfill their dream of adopting a baby."

Let's talk about the homestudy for one second. The cost for that alone based on this one site is $2,600, that the family has to pay. It takes a few months on average to complete. I'm sure costs and times vary but there is a lot to be done.

I know a few families who have adopted, fostered to adopt. Their biggest complaint is time and money. The third was the requirements. Here is one page that really goes into details. The basic requirements include: doing a homestudy (this includes interviews, background / fingerprinting checks, home inspection and review of your financial status) and going through a series of educational classes. The home inspection will check to see that your home is clean and safe. Each child (Foster/adopted/birth) is required to have so much space per person. This also determines how many children your home can be licensed for. When they do a background check they are making sure you have not been charged with or convicted of a felony. This would also include any other person 18 yrs or older who would reside with you. Therefore if you date someone and they spend most of their time at your home or live with you they too have to undergo the screening. As for your financial, they want to make sure you can meet the basic living needs and have life insurance for yourself. The educational classes will help you better understand how fostering works and what you need to do as a foster parent. It is solely up to you once you are licensed who you take for in a placement. Beware though if you are only interested in infants or toddlers you are more apt to get a lot of requests for emergency placements.


So there you have that.....
I just don't understand how it is that an abortion is so easy to get and costs as little as it does yet adoption costs so much.... As to the cost of abortion, look at this.

"Low-cost clinics, including some branches of Planned Parenthood, charge patients on an income-based sliding-scale fee.
There are also funding organizations that subsidize or cover the cost of abortions for women who can’t afford to pay."
 (source) For some women, they can get an abortion at no cost. Yet adoption is so expensive.... 


What's wrong with this picture????



What's even more sad is how many kids are in
foster care.... Here are some statistics on that.
"The latest statistics from the Adoption and Foster Care Analysis and Reporting System (AFCARS) data for FY 2014 (link is external).

415,129 children were in foster care on September 30th, 2014, a 4% increase from 2012

264,746 children entered care - that translates to a child entering care every two minutes in the United States

238,230 children existed foster care

107,918 children waiting to be adopted on September 30th, 2014

60,898 children waiting to be adopted whose parental rights (for all living parents) were terminated

50,644 children adopted with public child welfare agency involvement"


Half a million children, 17 and younger. 

Now, what happens to these kids? Look at this These are just for violence against children cases, they don't touch the many other kids that are in foster care for other reasons, often of it being drug related with the parent(s) addicted to and or selling drugs.



"It doesn't make sense not to extend care," says Amy Dworsky, Ph.D., at Chapin Hall, a research and policy center at the University of Chicago. "When biological children turn 18, we don't expect them to be totally self-sufficient. Why would young people who've been traumatized be able to make it on their own?" For information on how to help, go to YVLifeSet.


Why 1 in 3 Foster Kids Will Be Homeless

Every year, about 22,000 foster kids age out of the system and are on their own. In 2008, federal legislation was passed to allow states to claim reimbursement for foster youth until age 21, but less than half do it. Without extended care, one-third of former foster kids will become homeless by age 26; only half have a job at age 24; 71% of girls will be pregnant by 21; and many end up in jail. (source)


"But I can't afford to adopt!" Well I can't because of the space we have, money and how often we travel. Yet I can share about it, I can encourage others. I can share posts like this where even though I'm sure I opened a can of worms, if you really read this, you have thought much already about it. One thing we can do though also is to call our congressmen and women. We elected them, they are supposed to work for US. Supposed to.... Go out and volunteer at a shelter, or something. Call your local DHS office and ask what you can do. Look into BACA (Bikers Against Child Abuse) Stand up and do something!

How You Can Make a Difference

Not everyone can become a foster or adoptive parent, but there are many ways we all can help. If you have...

One minute: Fund a foster child's wish (a new doll, for instance) at One Simple Wish.

One hour: Put together a "first-night kit" for a foster kid: a toothbrush, toothpaste, a comb, a stuffed animal, a small flashlight and a book, suggests Reverend Amy Bezecny, a Hope and Healing Institute Fellow in Adoptive and Foster Care Parenting in Houston. Call a local foster care agency first to see what it will accept; find one at National Foster Care & Adoption Directory or the National Foster Parent Association.

One day a week: Tutor or mentor through Big Brothers Big Sisters, Foster Care to Success or National Mentoring Partnership.

A weekend: Hold a fundraiser or collect school supplies, toys and suitcases to donate to local foster care centers.

Flexible time for a year or more: Become a volunteer for CASA — Court Appointed Special Advocates. After training, you're appointed by a judge to watch out for a child as he makes his way through the court system — you may visit his foster home or talk to teachers to see how the child is faring. "A child who is taken away is thrown into a system that's unfamiliar and scary," says Tara Perry, National CASA CEO. "The CASA volunteer works with the child until there is placement in a new family or reunion with the birth family." Time required: about 10 hours a month.

A lifetime: Foster or adopt. It takes four to 12 months to become licensed, including undergoing a home evaluation and attending training. If you're considering it, contact a local adoption or foster care agency and ask if you can talk to other parents about what it's really like. Also, check out the North American Council on Adoptable Children or AdoptUSKids. By registering on the latter site, you can search a national photo listing of over 5,000 children in foster care who are adoptable.

The saddest stories are not those children who grew up and survived hell, it isn't their stories. The saddest stories are those children who survived that only to have everyone else fail them too. Those are the children who learn that nobody is there for them.

Now, I know I'm going to really stick my neck out here but think on this: Our country wants to allow in thousands of Syrian refugees. Our country promises to take care of them and get them everything they need. WHAT ABOUT OUR OWN?????

Why does so little get done about our own? Our children, our homeless, our VETERANS? Our mentally ill, the "rejects" as we always heard "them" called growing up Why? Does all of that go back to 
(1) "position in society — a pecking order, if you will. Money is certainly a component of that, because that’s what we most often use to keep score. For most of us, it’s a key ingredient to success, but it’s not just about money. It’s about prestige and clout. It’s about respect and recognition. It’s about having the right seat at the table, the right space in the parking lot, the right title on the business card, and the right clothes in the closet. It’s about getting the watch, the trophy, the promotion, or the award."
― from "Gods at War: Defeating the Idols that Battle for Your Heart" is that what it all goes back to? We value some lives because they fit into the mold we want them to and those that don't fit in that mold are then worthless? 


So, do we really value life? Are we all really pro-life or we just anti-abortion and forget about the rest? Are we really all about #ChooseKind #AllLivesMatter and all of that or are we only when it fits our agenda?

"We want a world freer, happier, cleaner—we want a race of thoroughbreds. We want to make America the leading nation of the world physically, mentally, and spiritually." Margaret Sanger, the founder of Planned Parenthood (source)

"What Sanger failed to recognize was her own limited perspective, short-sightedness, biases, and lack of understanding. She believed the human race would be better if only we could eliminate the genetic variants that make us vulnerable to weakness. How would we do this?


By eliminating the weak." (source)



"Humanity is part of a delicate ecosystem. No human is intellectually or morally qualified to determine who gets to live and who doesn't. Like Sanger, we will always be limited by our own perspective and understanding." ~ Jennifer Cortez ~

Until we really value life in all stages, from conception and beyond, we can't say we are pro-life..... Until we acknowledge that we have people in our country in need and not getting, how can we promise those who are not citizens here those rights? Until we acknowledge that those with disabilities, no matter how severe are seen as sub-par to the rest of the population AND do something proactive beyond killing bullying, abusing and neglecting, we are not really ALL pro-life.... Until we acknowledge the foster care crisis this country is in and ALL of the reasons for it, we can't keep claiming we are pro-life.... Until we stop looking at the "ugly" or the "dirty" or the homeless like they are worthless trash, we can't keep claiming we are pro-life. Until we deal with bullying in schools AND quit punishing the victims, we are not really pro-life. Until we get to the point where no matter what race, gender, orientation, "social status" or anything else someone else is, that their life matters too, we are not really pro-life.... When we look down on others because to you they "sin worse so therefore they are worse than you" that makes you think you are God and you are not. God says that He created EVERYONE and that EVERYONE sins and that He sees ALL sin in the same light. WE are the ones that categorize it in severity.

I'm not saying there shouldn't be discipline or consequences for things. If we didn't do that, we would be in anarchy..... However, HOW are you treating others? HOW are you projecting YOUR attitude and biases toward others?

So in reality, does #AllLivesMatter REALLY matter to you?

Hard words.... Ones I have had to swallow too....

Now those of you that are pro-choice and rejoicing that I didn't jump on you any, not so fast. I hope that you have learned something in this post. I hope that before you tell people that you approve of abortions, you remember what was said here. Also, what are you doing to better the world we live in? If you are for abortion simply for the reasons in here, I pray for your heart and mind that you will see things from all angles. I pray that you are doing something about those I talked about here. Don't preach about equal rights when you are not giving others equal rights as well. Contrary to what Clinton says, babies do feel pain in the womb and beyond.


"As early as eight to ten weeks after conception, and definitely by thirteen-and-a-half weeks, the unborn experiences organic pain…. First, the unborn child's mouth, at eight weeks, then her hands at ten weeks, then her face, arms, and legs at eleven weeks become sensitive to touch. By thirteen-and-a-half weeks, she responds to pain at all levels of her nervous system in an integrated response which cannot be termed a mere reflex. She can now experience pain."
Surgeon Robert P. N. Shearin


So what are we going to do? Where will your footprint be left?

Go do something to impact the world in a POSITIVE way.


Blessings!
~ Special Momma ~  

Wednesday, October 12, 2016

Thoughts like a river flowing

"You can't stay in your corner of the forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes." 
A. A. Milne


"Carve a tunnel of HOPE through the dark mountain of disappointment." 
 Martin Luther King, Jr.






So many thoughts going in and out of my head since yesterday and I went to MOPS today and those thoughts have gone from flowing like a creek to now like a river, not a raging river but definitely has picked up speed. Not in a bad way overall but just so much to chew and digest on.....

It really started yesterday morning. We had the stomach bug here this weekend (goodie) and my son who got it first, was home with me yesterday and we went for a short walk. He's at his school today yet I have been on edge hoping I don't get a call..... During that walk, I saw yellow butterflies and thought to myself, sometimes being able to live so carelessly, with so little burden would be such a blessing... 

I won't get into specifics here but I know a lady who's husband was just diagnosed with cancer and is now starting to go through all the technicality stuff with doctors, hospitals, insurance, traveling and all of that. My journey is not cancer. I thank God for that. Yet I know all too well what she is facing in all the dramatics of the planning, traveling, scheduling and all of that. All too well...

At MOPS today a mom was talking about the allergies her two boys have and how that has changed their lives, including having to have Epi-Pens. We talked about the Teal Project (Halloween treats vs non-edible treats) She was sharing how at least at this point in time, there are things he will never be able to eat and the fears of parties and places that she has no control over.

BOOM!!! I almost lost it there.... It was a year and a week ago today that I was sitting at Children's Medical Center with my son blatantly unaware just how bad the MRI and report was, of course it could have been much worse but my world was crashing, my safety net had broken and I was falling into God knows what next. I remember calling my husband sitting in the cafeteria with people looking at me bawling my eyes out because I was scared to death of the future.

MOPS today brought some of that back in knowing that my son will never get to ride a rollercoaster, never get to bounce on a trampoline, never get to play in a bounce house, never get to participate in contact sports, drag race, skydive, bungee jump, or anything else that has any G-force. Big deal right? "There's tons more he can do! Why think about that?" Think on this: Those things that you are told you can never do or shouldn't do, are the first things you WANT to do. Think on this though: like someone with a severe allergy could die from contact with an allergen, so could my son for those things that he can't do. Likewise how kids and adults don't even think about it day to day what they do because it doesn't affect them, someone else does that and it could kill them. Right now he's too young for bounce houses, but what do I tell him then when he is old enough and they are at church VBS (Just generally speaking here) or a friend's birthday party? How do I tell him no without breaking his heart and leaving his heart open for attack from peers because he can't do this or that?


It also got me thinking to our trip to Dallas two weeks ago. Cleared for a year. Good right? Absolutely! Was I ready to hear that? Honestly, no..... I can't let go. I am not ready. Pending good sleep studies and checks for papilledema, we are cleared from Dallas for a year for my son. Yet his syrinx is unchanged and I was told it could take years. Years.... No pressure on his brain stem now thank God so just waiting and watching.

Waiting and watching..... God knows, He knows I hate those words..... For one who likes to know the ins and outs and whens of stuff going on around me, that is the ultimate form of torture, especially when it involves my kids..... So the best way I deal with that is to stay busy. Times in the car though, gives my mind too much to think.

After posting on several groups recently, I found one parent who like me has a child with Muenke AND chiari. My first family I knew that had two with a similar craniofacial syndrome, I have talked A LOT with her and it's really interesting how similar yet different our sons are. Her and her two kids have the same syndrome, likewise me and my two kids have the same one. SCS vs Muenke. Come to find out, there is one who has a child with Muenke AND chiari that I got to connect with too. Social media really has blessings sometimes. Sometimes. :) I have not tortured the new one yet like I have probably tortured the one I have known longer. lol


I have also admittedly struggled with some of the feelings that I have had before about feeling insignificant. Of course I matter, for one my children and husband would be really suffering without me. Yet would anyone else? Do any of those who know we are gone on medical trips, or just had a big one, or having a surgery, do I or my children matter to them? That's a struggle I admit. I posted about that after my son's last surgery somewhat. Is it wrong of me to hope that maybe me or my children are missed when we miss church, a Bible study, MOPS or other things like that?  Was I wrong that I felt down about the fact that nobody in this community but one even asked me till today at all "How was Dallas?" Prior to today, nobody but the one prior asked. BUT when I have been casually asked, "How are you?" "I'm good, glad to be back from Dallas." "Oh? How did that go? Why were you there THIS time?" kind of thing. (Dallas was September 27th-30th)
As part of a study I'm doing, one question asked that I will answer for the most part here because I want to be real. It was asking who or what are we jealous of and why. My answer was: "I have had many things over the years at times but most are minute and insignificant now. Two things that come to mind though now. (Off and on struggle for years) How come do some families in need get so much support (Not just money here) yet others are ignored? Is it really about social status or popularity? I often feel like we are forgotten. The other thing is that sometimes I feel that people look at me as a social leper or my kids are because I feel like I don't matter to them. I'm barely talked to while out and about, I usually initiate any conversation and it usually ends just as quickly. When I'm not present because of Dallas or whatever, they know about it but 99% of the time, nobody around here checks in on us, at least not till after all is said and done. That's why I am so self reliant and make sure everything gets done myself because to everyone else, I'm crap. Maybe not the reality of it but that is what message people give off. I'll expand more into that shortly. 

I'm probably going to get questioned about this post now that I have said what I did but the struggle is real..... It's a common echo in the special needs community yet nobody wants to face it head on. Why? Is it because the population is small enough that it's easier to just sweep it under the rug and focus on the general population?

I don't talk about the other stuff. Today I will. Some of you will understand what I say, many will think I'm nuts. When you are traveling so often, you often still hear road noise even when not driving, you hear the DART transit train whizzing by, even when you are not by the rail, let alone in Dallas. When you close your eyes, you can still smell the hospital, you can still smell the Ronald McDonald House, you can still smell the medical grade sanitizer used. Walking into a different church we go one of our Bible studies at, something they use makes one of the halls smell like a hospital floor. Nobody but medical parents/caregivers/professionals think of that. When you wake up to use the bathroom, you swear sometimes you heard a monitor beeping or a child crying. When your phone rings, you automatically brace yourself for it being a doctor, school or some other medical related call that has to be handled. When you go to your mailbox and automatically pray it's not another fight coming with SSI, insurance or a doctor's office, then feel relief when it's just an electric bill or some other thing. When you open your primary insurance statements and can already tell before opening which child it was and what EOB it likely is. Then think "Thank God for primary AND secondary insurance" when you see what the charges are vs what you would have to pay out. When your son's craniofacial surgeon says we don't need to do another vault till he's five, you start thinking about the insurance battle ahead just to get it covered. Then you think back to making sure you never forget the sleep cot so you don't sleep in that crappy recliner EVER AGAIN! THEN the next part comes in.

That's not the worst though. The worst is the thoughts of the future.... The what if's, the whens, the whys...... "Just give it to God, He won't give you more than you can handle." That's a lie, He will and He does. The only way I get through it without being in a looney bin is by His grace and patience with me...... 


I have always struggled I admit also with feeling like God truly loves ME. Oh yeah, I know what the Bible says and all of that but to really FEEL it, that's always been a struggle. Is that why I feel the way I do about people or is it because of how people and even other Christians treat each other, it makes it harder to connect to what God says He feels about us? I still struggle with figuring that the only one that will take care of me and my family is myself. If I don’t get it done, and keep on everyone else to get what they should do, done, it just won’t be. I also admit that I struggle with people giving up on me or just quitting because all before have. They either always quit because it was supposedly my faults or because I didn't do as they wanted me to do. Always. Teachers, counselors, "friends", etc. Every single person who has been around me has except my husband, at least at one time or another. Sometimes I'm amazed he has not...... I know some family and "friends" in the past have told him that he should just quit and give up on me, that I wasn't good enough for him or for anyone.  

See why it's hard for me to stay connected to the idea that God won't give up on me either?
How can we show others who God is if we don't act like how God would? How?




Not to get a debate started but how also then if we are so hypocritical and judgmental over what people wear, say, watch, do, etc, are we willing to compromise for our upcoming POTUS? Those that know me know I am NOT happy with either option. Voting the lesser of two evils here in my opinion and there is no winning side. I am also reading post after post of evangelicals saying to vote for Trump because at least he has not done "this or that". Well, let me also enlighten you. Trump isn't conservative either, he's as liberal as Hillary. Look it all up for yourself. Unless he has radically changed (And a 11 year old video to me is no basis on either side of that because of how OLD it is) he has also supported the same things that Clinton has. They used to be friends. Prove to me that either side has or has not changed to the point they are worthy to be POTUS.

See my point? No? Let me expand a bit.

Not long ago I shared a post about a nine year old child who had committed suicide. Nine years old. The same age as my daughter...... He killed himself because of bullies at school. I went off on my Facebook page about that.... Ripping up parents and schools and bullies. I did say a few words I shouldn't have said. I admitted it and it was taken down. It was not before I got others angry with me over my words. I am not denying that I shouldn't have used those words but for people to get more upset with the words said over the story that was shared, that to me says a lot also.

What is my point?

How is it then that what people say, watch, do, wear, etc is not okay but it is okay to elect either of the two options for POTUS AND they are actually blowing off poor choices in behavior in order to say, "Well anyone but this one". Justify that for me please..... Why is it that everyone is up in arms over things Trump has said (NOT JUSTIFYING) but so nonchalant over everything Hillary and even Bill has done?

Can that be explained? (And no I don't really want to vote at ALL this year. First time since I turned 18 I dread election day.)

I look at us as a species and just shake my head... Nature says it's predator vs prey. Humans are the top of the food chain. We kill and destroy everything we want, even ourselves. Any of you know what the latest with Russia is? We are on the brink of another cold war if not worse and all we talk about is the Kardashians, Hillary and Trump and how much we hate the other side and how evil each side is. Politics of itself is evil. This is not what God created us to be but this is what we made ourselves to be instead.
God help us because this nation really is getting what we wished for.....

https://iamchrisgilmore.com/2016/10/08/church-we-have-no-dog-this-fight/

Now off politics; (I heard you say THANK YOU!) :D


How are we really going to bring about change in this world IF we aren't willing to do any ourselves? How are we to really help people understand God's love if we aren't going to SHOW love ourselves?


Maybe my issue with FEELING God's love is because all my life I have struggled with that. I was taught by so many that love is conditional, REAL love doesn't exist. "You are only loved if you do this or that or do ___ right" "Nobody loves you because you _____" type of thing.


You can tell someone you love them all you want but unless you show it, you are the liar.



So think on that this week. How are you going to truly show love? I'm not saying be a doormat but also don't be a jerk and not care at all. What about that "disgusting homeless looking man that always peddles on the highway for attention." guy? Do you really look at people like that? If someone doesn't fit into YOUR mold of how they should or they do not fit into YOUR mold of how exactly they should act 24/7, are they then unworthy and deserve whatever they get? Do they then deserve to be unloved? Do they deserve to be treated like a social leper? Like they deserve to wear a scarlet letter of whatever sin you think is the worst in them? Think on that. Would you want God making you wear a literal or figurative scarlet letter of your own for the world to see? No? Then please don't treat others the same. If God could have brought Saul to become Paul, He really can transform the "worst human you have seen" into one of His best messengers.

How will you encourage that? Will you snuff their spark out or will you feed it into a raging bonfire that helps many?

Sometimes those who we think are the most unworthy are sometimes more valuable then the most precious stones. 




~ Special Momma ~

Thursday, September 22, 2016

Thoughts

Found a blog not long ago that shares the ache in a mother's grieving heart yet her will to keep fighting and advocating even though her son is no longer with her.

The background music was a song called, Sleeping at last - Saturn.

The cello is my favorite string instrument. It's so beautiful yet is also overlooked for the violins. 

Yet it put me in a somber mood..... My son had his sleep study post decompression recently and the results are really good thankfully. I don't have specifics though yet.

It also made me think about the Conquer Chiari walk last weekend. There was a poem shared there that was the most lovely thing and I'm going to share it here. Please if you share it, give credit where it's due. 



Thanks Andria!!

"This was written some years ago by another CCWAA organizer, but with her permission, we (along with other sites) were allowed to change up the location and such to make it fit for any walk location. So it say "Northwest Arkansas". 

The Reasons We Walk

By: Cyndi Vanek, chiari survivor and

walk site organizer

We walk
today for those children who don’t yet know their fate. The word “chiari”
they’ll one day learn and also learn to hate. 

We walk this
walk for mothers who try to hide their pain and try to teach their children how
to dance beneath their rain. 

We walk now
for the parents who feel completely stressed while at their child’s bedside
feeling totally helpless.

We walk for
all the siblings who have to act grown up and sometimes take a second place
when times are really tough.

We walk
these steps for patients who are told that they look fine despite the meds they
have to take to get them through that time.

We walk for
the many who suffer in silence still today, being told chiari is so rare,
thinking alone they’ll have to stay.

We walk so
at our next appointment we won’t have to spell the word. Because in Northwest
Arkansas, Chiari is something they’ve now heard.

We walk for
you who’ve loved us even through the hurt. Who’ve joined us here today to wear
your chiari t-shirt. 

Mostly we
walk these steps today holding another’s hand. We will continue to walk these
steps simply because we can.

We walk for
the volunteers, sponsors, donors, and our friends who’ve made today all
possible and are with us till the end.

We walk
because we’re tired of having to hide what’s wrong. We need better treatment
options. We’ve been guinea pigs for far too long. 

We walk
because we want better for our own daughter or son. So God forbid they ever
hear “you have Arnold Chiari One”. 

We’ve
organized this for you because our families are OK with missing us for months
while we plan this one September day. 

We’ve walked
for years now together. We hope to meet again. We’ve shared our stories, broke
bread, and met new chiari friends. 

We walk
because you hold our hands to catch us if we fall. We will continue to meet

here yearly until we conquer chiari…. Once and for all!! 





Less than a week till the MRI, scananxiety as it's called, yet for different reasons than where that word started. I have no idea or guess as to what it will show to be honest. What the syrinx will look like, if it's still there, or anything else that I know we have seen there. And to top it off, the computer I use to look at these scans myself I'm locked out of thanks to the most recent Windows 10 update.... It's looking like I'm going have to format it and start fresh since nothing has worked to try and get back in. I'm ticked...... Yet we don't have a copy of 10 since we upgraded from the preinstalled 7 and that no longer works so..... I hope I can borrow something to at least get a few images off with.... 


I try to not have my children see the world that I sometimes struggle with. These pics are their world (Besides the people they love)


      


Yet hearing some of the stories I do, it's hard to try to keep looking at everything in a positive light like my kids do. I really need to learn to be more like them.

Today I have had Metallica playing in my head.... Nothing else matters is a favorite.... I've also had more Audiomachine playing. 


I was encouraged by one of the ladies I know to share this so I will....


I'll admit I have always been a control-freak in many ways. Co-dependent as well. I gotta fix things that are broken, things that are wrong, out of my control.... I gotta fix it. When things are in chaos or so many unknowns, my anxiety gets high and I also get angry easily. Yeah, I admit it. I didn't used to be this bad.... till our journey began. My daughter was three months old when it really started.... The day we went to Dallas and back in one day, my world changed forever..... I had no idea what we were in for.... Nine years later I still wonder..... With my son, we have more to watch for with him. More to fear, more to learn, more to watch yet try to capture in those thoughts and fears from completely taking over. Yet I have always fought this. If I don't fight for my kids, who will? Nobody. That's my job as their mother. So..... now comes in where I am planner, coordinator, warrior, advocate, and all that goes with it. When does it become out of control though? To the point where you get told that you don't have enough faith or trust? Who decides that ultimately? There are days where I am good, no battles, sun is out and the ocean is calm. There are other days where I am in a war that is just me against the world and I am the only one to slay a dragon alone, the hurricane is upon me and I just can't hold my ground against the storm and I'm holding on by a single finger about to be thrown into the abyss. Most days are somewhere between those. Often I'm toward the stormy side. I have learned to handle most of it. Though talking about it gets harder to do as I get older. I'll explain that in a bit.



So often we are told we are not good enough, worthy enough, Christian enough, we sin too much, we don't have enough faith, we talk too loud, we are too outspoken, etc. We get told this stuff but more times than not, we struggle within ourselves with this "being good and worthy enough" business. I've been told most of my storms I bring on myself. I have been told to shut down this blog and Caringbridge and quit being so public. I have been told to quit posting on Facebook because I'm losing "friends" and being unfollowed by many for posting my thoughts. I chase everyone away with what I say, I'm told. I already know this post will get some words said to me about sharing too much....  As if we don't struggle enough with trying to be silenced.... To a degree I have caved. I don't talk as much to people, granted days often would pass before anyone would call or text me unless they wanted favors anyway.... I don't post as much of anything other than shares on Facebook and anymore I'm more content staying at home all day than wondering why so and so gets to do this or that and I'm not. Sometimes being a hermit is better. Even when I am in a group, I struggle with what I should or should not say or share so often I'd just rather keep quiet. Often when I do say something, I feel like I'm out of place or the oddball of the group which I figure I'm improving the conversation staying silent. I figure those that give up on me weren't truly a friend anyway. Almost everyone gives up on me at one time or another and they are gone just like the others. It's only a matter of time. That I have learned.


I have always struggled with how some things are okay in the Christian world and some things are not yet everything is is truly supposed to be black and white. Good or bad. No middle. We humans create the gray.....  When I ask and bring that stuff up, I'm told to mind my own business and deal with my own sin and that nobody's perfect. That's not the answer either. I think that's when we all need to think about what we are doing and if we are right with God or not. Individually, with an accountability person and make sure we are praying about this.


I didn't accept Christ till I was 14, just days before we won state in marching band that year. It was October 21st, 1996. I was living in my last group home. I accepted and tried to change for the better but I don't think I truly started that till I was 19. I was doing "good" except still struggling with anger and cussing issues. I listened to Korn, Ozzy, Linkin Park and stuff like that in high school. I read Stephen King novels. I played violent video games. I didn't talk the cleanest, I tried to fit in to at least have some friends in school, I would get frustrated at work and called names sometimes over stupid stuff, not at people but in general. I still tried really hard to be good, I did. I even went to church. It's not about being "good" though because we will fail... I still try to be good. Yet fail. I hear about it all the time when I mess up but not when I'm doing good. And yeah, I do still read the occasional Stephen King, along with Danielle Steel, J.D Robb and other crime novels I love the crime novels and medical mysteries/stories. I miss Unreal Tournament the most as far as gaming, I do watch some shows and own movies that have some bad language but I don't watch them for that, I watch them for the story. No matter what, I will still struggle to keep my mouth shiny clean, especially if upset or freaking out..... Yet I also read Christian books, like Gods at War. (Current study) 

I admit I struggle too with if God did accept my prayer for salvation. I believe I am saved, truly but believing and trusting that God really loves me is a struggle still......



Does this make me bad? How many are the same way? Am I that bad? How does God forgive me for my failings yet our fellow man holds more condemnation and stereotypes in any faction of life?


I have also been in what's called Celebrate Recovery. It's not just for chemical dependency. It's for any hurts, habits and hangups. I go because first I was there for just anger..... In the year I have been there, I have seen there's more to it. Anger, anxiety and co-dependency and it all intertwines with me. I feel most at home when I am there. I can share anything and know that it is safe to share and I will not be judged for what I share and say. After stuff is over then I have had sometimes where 1 or 2 would approach me and we talk about things, we listen to each other. I get ideas, improvements, help..... We will always fail because we are not perfect but through GRACE and MERCY, we are saved through Christ. And we are then commanded to love others this way. Love doesn't mean doormat, it means to treat others with love and compassion, even if we don't agree with what they do or say. GUIDE others who are doing wrong, help them, don't beat them down but pick them up and offer to help them through it. It's easier to just beat people down and tell them how bad, evil or whatever they are. This world is good enough at doing that, why don't we stand out and make a difference instead.


I truly believe this is how we bring others to Christ. Teach the Bible, teach the "rules" and all of that. Teach how Christ changes us. But also teach grace, compassion and mercy. Show yourself to be that way too, even if dealing with someone or something is hard. Don't talk if you aren't going to walk it. We all mess up, let's all pick each other up despite our messes and help each other walk the right way instead of beating the "bad" ones to a pulp and walking along with pride figuring "We aren't like that person so I'm fine". Let's all be humble. None of us are "fine"


Why can't we always be like this? I know I still have much to learn so maybe I'm just ignorant...... 
We look around at others and think they have the good life, God has cursed us because we have this or that going on type thing. So easy to do.... I have gotten caught up in that.... Even Job got asked if he was cursed or what he did to cause all that was done to him. Yet look how many millions have been changed because of Job's story. God got glorified through Job's suffering. God can be glorified by our stories too. God has always been the victor even if in the moment we don't see it. Looking back, I can't explain many victories otherwise. 



Coming back from the sleep study, I noticed this grasshopper on my side mirror as I was leaving Little Rock. It was still there but moved a little by the time I was almost home.



Here I was, going 70 down the highway and this grasshopper was holding on for dear life. Later on, it moved even in the wind to inside the plastic area under the mirror itself. I kept watching it off and on. Then a thought occurred to me. Through the wind, the storm, the darkness, the flood, God watches us too to make sure we are still hanging on. This insect, what most would see as worthless, hung on for dear life for well over two hours. What a feat that was!


The Sunday night before the sleep study we had a night of worship with several local churches. Choirs and instrumentalists including me, we all played. I kept watching a young man I presume was Autistic or Asperger was so into the music. The last song, he got up before anyone, he started raising his hands to the music, swaying with it and finally jumping for joy in the latter half of it. By this time, everyone else was standing but most were just standing, not singing or anything, just listening. Yet this young man, had the outward joy in his heart. I went up to his mom right after we got done and told her how much that touched me. I told her it is those with special needs who will conquer the world. It will be them, the ones that so many see as different, insignificant, worthless, whatever, WILL conquer the world. She got tears in her eyes and I almost lost it too..... Just like this insect hung on for dear life, so shall we.... Yet to see our children have joy no matter their trial, should serve as a lesson to us too.......


Don't get so caught up in the little stuff, all the legalism, politics, political correctness, etc to the point that you miss what truly matters.

God Himself!


~ Special Momma  ~