Battles

"The only dark will be in the hearts of those that choose to not understand. Yes.... Choose. When you choose to understand you do not make judgements, you question to understand more fully what it is exactly the road we travel. You then choose to support either in words or deeds, not condemn. Just because you don't agree with something doesn't give you the right to dictate whether we have more children, and how we choose to raise the children we do have. If that train of thought were true, then it could quite possibly could mean WWII was for naught. That the ideals of the Nazis and Hitler himself were taught as truth..... And that... That would be a horror."

My friend Celeste wrote that in a comment to me about a post she tagged me in sharing about her two children with special needs.

Though no matter the battle, remember this as well:

“Then the Angel of the Lord appeared to him and said, “Mighty hero, the Lord is with you!”  “Sir,” Gideon replied.  “If the Lord is with us, why all this has happened to us?  And where are all the miracles our ancestors told us about?  Didn’t they say?  “The Lord brought us up out of Egypt?  But now the Lord has abandoned us and handed us over to the Midianites.”  Then the Lord turned to him and said, “GO WITH THE STRENGTH YOU HAVE AND RESCUE ISRAEL FROM THE MIDIANITES.  I AM SENDING YOU!”  “But Lord,” Gideon replied.  “How can I rescue Israel?  My clan is the weakest in the whole tribe of Manasseh, and I am the least in my entire family!” The Lord said to him, “I will be with you.  And you will destroy the Midianites as if you were fighting against one man.” –Judges 6:12-16

We too can win our battles. With God on our side, nothing is impossible. The darkness doesn't last forever.

Blessings!
~ Special Momma ~

I'll be back to posting more regularly soon, been insanely busy here......

What is life supposed to be?

When we grow up we think of the big dreams and stuff that we would be. I told everyone that I would be a "bug scientist" also known as an Entomologist. I also wanted to be married with three children and be rich. If you asked me when I was eight years old, the age of my daughter that's what I wanted to be. My daughter dreams of being a singer or drummer like two of her idols in the band P.O.D. She already has one up from me as she has gotten to hang out with her dream band twice. Sonny Sandoval is her biggest idol. Yet as exciting as that is, she also misses out on a lot. Church camp is coming up but unfortunately she will have to miss because of seeing her neurologist. She has had to miss many other opportunities. My son's story will be no different unfortunately.

Yet today when I told her she would miss church camp, she was disappointed but not upset. Almost like she's adjusted to it maybe. Just what life is. Yet we are blessed.

My husband and I began this special needs journey just over eight years ago. Little did we know.... Yet as dark as some days have been and as isolating as others have been, I have no regrets. God created my children and he called us to raise our children. Think of that.

God created our children and God called us to raise them.

Is life all roses? Absolutely not! It's not all thorns either. Words I will always remember from a dear momma. "Our children are precious and rare gems." What do gems do when given the proper light? They shine brilliantly. Polish your gems mommas and give them Light and watch them shine. That is what we are to get joy from in our kids. Life is not what sports they play, grades, perfection, etc. Life is not about how rich we can be, best jobs, house, car, etc. Life is about the joy we find within it.

Let's watch our children shine so the whole world can see the Light within them.

"For at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light"
Ephesians 5:8

Blessings!

~ Special Momma ~

PICU

The morning following my son's brain surgery, my husband and I were walking into the hospital at Medical City Dallas. I saw a couple bringing out a large wagon of stuff but no child..... I feared the worst. Shortly after I saw a grandmother carrying a bouncy seat crying. As we approached her truck, I could tell she needed help. I was running a bit behind for when I wanted to be back in the PICU by but I knew I needed to be here.

I went to her and asked how I could help. She was sobbing. I held the truck door so it wouldn't hit the car beside it as she put the bouncy in. I knew in my heart she was with the couple that was bringing out the loaded wagon. I found out they were the aunt and uncle bringing stuff and the woman I helped was indeed the grandmother. Her granddaughter had just died a few hours before. I can't remember the name of the condition but it was a weak trachea and it collapsed again and this time they couldn't get it to open back up. The poor child suffocated. As she told me this out in the parking lot, I held her as she sobbed. I was wiping my eyes as well. Tears for a complete stranger. Soon after I walked in with her and I met the mother. I gave her huge hugs as well and told her as well that I would pray for the family. I went in to see my son. Very soon after I felt God tugging at me saying, "Why didn't you pray for them right there with them?" So, I made an excuse to go back out to the waiting room of the ICU. The whole family was there then. Most of them either sobbing or red eyes where they had just exhausted tears. I went to the grandmother and asked her if I could pray for all of them. I stepped out of my comfort zone and prayed out loud for all of them. They all thanked me, mostly by nodding and smiles. The next time I stepped out of the ICU, they were all gone.

I went back into my son's room and held him as much as I could and told him I loved him as I grieved for the family who had spent the last three months in that same ICU floor.

I keep thinking of that family. I honestly didn't get any names but yet God knows who they are.

Think of that today. Think of making it to where you are not in such a hurry to go here or there that you don't stop long enough to look around and see who needs your help or even prayers.

Blessings!
~ Special Momma ~

Seeds and planting

Remember the Bible story about where seeds were planted? I have felt this on my heart for a few days now but it's been so crazy here I have not been able to post much. This may honestly be my last post for a bit as my son's surgery is quickly approaching and there is still much to deal with there. I won't leave for good though, I promise that. So here's a message to last at least a few days.

Here's the Bible verses first.

Matthew 13 New International Version (NIV)

The Parable of the Sower

13 That same day Jesus went out of the house and sat by the lake. ² Such large crowds gathered around him that he got into a boat and sat in it, while all the people stood on the shore. ³ Then he told them many things in parables, saying: “A farmer went out to sow his seed. ⁴ As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. ⁵ Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. ⁶ But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. ⁷ Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants. ⁸ Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop—a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown. ⁹ Whoever has ears, let them hear.”

¹⁰ The disciples came to him and asked, “Why do you speak to the people in parables?”
¹¹ He replied, “Because the knowledge of the secrets of the kingdom of heaven has been given to you, but not to them. ¹² Whoever has will be given more, and they will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what they have will be taken from them. ¹³ This is why I speak to them in parables:

“Though seeing, they do not see;
    though hearing, they do not hear or understand.

¹⁴ In them is fulfilled the prophecy of Isaiah:

“‘You will be ever hearing but never understanding;
    you will be ever seeing but never perceiving.
¹⁵ For this people’s heart has become calloused;
    they hardly hear with their ears,
    and they have closed their eyes.
Otherwise they might see with their eyes,
    hear with their ears,
    understand with their hearts
and turn, and I would heal them.’^[a]

¹⁶ But blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear. ¹⁷ For truly I tell you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see but did not see it, and to hear what you hear but did not hear it.

¹⁸ “Listen then to what the parable of the sower means: ¹⁹ When anyone hears the message about the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what was sown in their heart. This is the seed sown along the path. ²⁰ The seed falling on rocky ground refers to someone who hears the word and at once receives it with joy. ²¹ But since they have no root, they last only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, they quickly fall away. ²² The seed falling among the thorns refers to someone who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke the word, making it unfruitful. ²³ But the seed falling on good soil refers to someone who hears the word and understands it. This is the one who produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.”


Basically what it is saying is that when you share your faith, your testimony, you don't know who all will take it to heart. Some will take it and not bother, some will take it, try to live "right" then give up and yet others will accept and grow in their spiritual walk.

The pic posted here to me says a lot because you never know what will grow. Not much will grow from the middle of something like asphalt or even rocks yet sometimes it does.

One thing to take away from this is that even when you plant seeds, don't assume that those you talk to don't take it at all for what you are sharing. There are people out there who will accept Christ when we least expect. There are quite a few in prisons who become Christians in there. Even mass murderers I'm sure. The gift is free to anyone. No one sin is worse then another in God's eyes.

If you truly want to accept Christ into your heart, then read this out loud or at least in your heart.

Dear God in heaven, I come to you in the name of Jesus. I acknowledge to You that I am a sinner, and I am sorry for my sins and the life that I have lived; I need your forgiveness.

I believe that your only begotten Son Jesus Christ shed His precious blood on the cross at Calvary and died for my sins, and I am now willing to turn from my sin.

You said in Your Holy Word, Romans 10:9 that if we confess the Lord our God and believe in our hearts that God raised Jesus from the dead, we shall be saved.

Right now I confess Jesus as the Lord of my soul. With my heart, I believe that God raised Jesus from the dead. This very moment I accept Jesus Christ as my own personal Savior and according to His Word, right now I am saved.

Thank you Jesus for your unlimited grace which has saved me from my sins. I thank you Jesus that your grace never leads to license, but rather it always leads to repentance. Therefore Lord Jesus transform my life so that I may bring glory and honor to you alone and not to myself.


Thank you Jesus for dying for me and giving me eternal life in Heaven.
Amen

My start as being a Christian was very rough as I was also living in a group home at the time. Yet over the years I walked away somewhat from the faith yet I came back. No walk is perfect yet remain steadfast. Seek wisdom and guidance daily. It's not easy, I will say that but it is so worth it. God has been so faithful for us and I know He will you.

Please feel free to leave a comment if you wish to share that you accepted Christ or have questions.

Blessings!

~ Special Momma ~

Believing

I tell you the last few days have been crazy..... In the storm with the insurance I really thought I was either going crazy or God had left me....... Yet I had to keep the faith that it would work out one way or another. We got two Medicaid denials within a week. The second one got me panicked given the wording on it.

After going on a wild goose chase with it and finally the last phone call of the day on Wednesday leaving me in tears, The girl at DHS felt sorry for me about what was going on. I have a friend who works for DHS in a different county so I called her as well.

Go on to yesterday morning, as I left the pediatrician's office with papers ready to go into SSI to deal with that side of it, I got a call from a DHS case manager. ALL WAS SETTLED!!! Medicaid is done and active again AND there will be NO gap in coverage what so ever.

I was reminded of the double rainbow I had seen recently and how I felt that it was a promise that all would work out. Boy was I clinging to that..... (Post HERE)

God won this battle! The Goliath that stood before me lost the battle. The war isn't won yet but the battle was won! Ultimately God will win the war too, I just have to remember that and to never let go of His promise.

Blessings!

~ Special Momma ~

Roots

The sermon I heard on Sunday was about father's day. Yet one quote I'm going to go on today is the following:

"Character is formed in the root ball of the oak tree that we are. Others only see the trunk up. What are we allowing to nourish us in our roots?"

That was well said.... There is another way to look at the roots too. The thing that holds us down when the storms come in and the winds of life try to blow us down. The deeper the roots go, the better it will hold during the storms.


How far down are our roots? What are we feeding our roots? Good wholesome food from God or everything the world says to feed it? How strong will we stand when the storms come? That's the test......


Blessings!  Short and sweet tonight....
~ Special Momma ~

Potholes

Almost all of us know what these are. We grumble and gripe about them because they truly are annoying and sometimes can damage our cars. The only true way to fix them long term is to redo the road section they are on. You can patch them but that doesn't last long.

Same goes for us. There are things that poke holes in us or that erode underneath to where eventually a hole forms that can be seen. Sometimes they are small like a little pothole but other times they can be huge like a sinkhole.

The smaller they are, the less outside damage they cause yet the bigger they get, the worse they do. Same for us. Are we just going to put band-aids or patches on ours and just hope they don't get bigger or are we going to really deal with the issue?

Sinkholes give very little warning. Sometimes we have had things fester inside us for so long that by the time we realize it's there, the sinkhole has begun.

The only one who can really heal us is God. We must be aware of the potholes in our lives and pray about it but most of all, let it go so we can really fix them. Boy that's hard......

Blessings!
~ Special Momma ~