Marathon training - Much to learn

Okay, I'm sure by now whomever is still left reading these are wondering what else there is to talk about with marathon training. More like my ADHD brain on a daily marathon going all over on this rainy day. 🤣 I'm going to look back on this and see how much I've learned within it since making my decision earlier this month to do this.

Yesterday my son had his PT eval for the school district. The therapist knows Ainsley's Angels in this area well and we talked a lot about it. She recognized my son from his dance video. See? He did go a little viral! Between her and another friend, I'm on the mend from this stupid knee issue. I know what I did to cause it, I know what the spark was but the stuff around it was something I could have helped. Yet it's a lesson learned, and at least I've learned it early. I'm also going to back off some on how hard I'm going with it, though that'll be hard for me to do too...... Just being honest. Hopefully Monday I can get back out and start again. No hills for a couple of weeks though. I'm just going to have to slowly ease back into it. At least I can enjoy the trails along the river or the parks.

I'm learning that training is much more than the fact of running, or at least building up to that point. It's also learning how to do proper core stretches, and other "minor" workouts like that. Apparently I have been doing it all wrong up till now. I was doing marching band stretches like we were taught, and that wasn't enough apparently also. Which I figured out I wasn't doing the right ones for this stuff, nor long enough of, nor enough types. Nor was I doing them after I did my time training. So yeah...... Novice dumb moves, HELLO! It won't be the first "dumb mistake" I have to learn on this journey.

Last night I had an online pow-wow with a friend where all sorts of crap came out... Tears too.... Yeah, I've had a few days of off and on tears of frustration mostly but anger at myself for "failing" at this too.... Yeah I'm too hard on myself.....  I've not been this pissed at being "weak" since my c-section with my now not too far from being five-year-old son. I teased my friend and called her a religious psychiatrist. Let me tell you though, the emotional part of this has been insanity. Talk about THAT being a crazy train! Who needs Ozzy for that one?!

via GIPHY

I know I was warned that all of this would bring up more than just the physical work but seesh o' pete! Who needs Celebrate Recovery when I can have that pot full of crap stirring up and coming out training? No, I'm joking but I think with this bringing out more crap, I'll have more to talk about at CR and handle.

Handling disappointments is something I've never been good at. I go into the blame game with it and it's usually at me. The feelings of not being good enough, fast enough. That any injury, minor or not would then be a failure to my son that I'm not any closer to pushing him when my goal is in June. Six weeks till that race and I'm not ready enough. That's been my struggle since being "benched" so to speak. The weather here was great Tuesday and I hated it because I couldn't be out. Today and tomorrow we're looking at rain so I don't feel as bad about missing yet still.... I should be out there getting good at this so I can actually not fail my son......

Maybe I'm too hard on myself (HELLO!!) yet I can't help it.... I've always struggled with being "enough" for anyone, let alone for myself so it's like a competition that I gotta beat my own PR (personal record) stuff each time I'm out and that's not realistic or good.

I have to do it lighter though.... As much as it pains me to even contemplate that. Yet talk about a test of patience!!! I want to be 5k ready like last week..... Heck if I can walk 13.1 miles twice in one week and a total week tally of almost 44 miles, then why the heck not? It's a ton better than where I started! Yet I feel like I'm having to start all over again and three weeks down the drain.....

THAT is what drives me nuts......

Just sayin......

Truly..... I want to know I'm doing this right and that I won't fail those I have made the commitment to to do that half-marathon in March. I have a lot of time before that. I have weeks before the June 5k and come hell or high water, I'm doing that one, even if I have to walk it. I really had hoped to start doing splits with running and walking this week.

Life had other plans...... Trying again Monday......

~ Special Momma ~