Seeds and planting

Remember the Bible story about where seeds were planted? I have felt this on my heart for a few days now but it's been so crazy here I have not been able to post much. This may honestly be my last post for a bit as my son's surgery is quickly approaching and there is still much to deal with there. I won't leave for good though, I promise that. So here's a message to last at least a few days.

Here's the Bible verses first.

Matthew 13 New International Version (NIV)

The Parable of the Sower

13 That same day Jesus went out of the house and sat by the lake. ² Such large crowds gathered around him that he got into a boat and sat in it, while all the people stood on the shore. ³ Then he told them many things in parables, saying: “A farmer went out to sow his seed. ⁴ As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. ⁵ Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. ⁶ But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. ⁷ Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants. ⁸ Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop—a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown. ⁹ Whoever has ears, let them hear.”

¹⁰ The disciples came to him and asked, “Why do you speak to the people in parables?”
¹¹ He replied, “Because the knowledge of the secrets of the kingdom of heaven has been given to you, but not to them. ¹² Whoever has will be given more, and they will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what they have will be taken from them. ¹³ This is why I speak to them in parables:

“Though seeing, they do not see;
    though hearing, they do not hear or understand.

¹⁴ In them is fulfilled the prophecy of Isaiah:

“‘You will be ever hearing but never understanding;
    you will be ever seeing but never perceiving.
¹⁵ For this people’s heart has become calloused;
    they hardly hear with their ears,
    and they have closed their eyes.
Otherwise they might see with their eyes,
    hear with their ears,
    understand with their hearts
and turn, and I would heal them.’^[a]

¹⁶ But blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear. ¹⁷ For truly I tell you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see but did not see it, and to hear what you hear but did not hear it.

¹⁸ “Listen then to what the parable of the sower means: ¹⁹ When anyone hears the message about the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what was sown in their heart. This is the seed sown along the path. ²⁰ The seed falling on rocky ground refers to someone who hears the word and at once receives it with joy. ²¹ But since they have no root, they last only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, they quickly fall away. ²² The seed falling among the thorns refers to someone who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke the word, making it unfruitful. ²³ But the seed falling on good soil refers to someone who hears the word and understands it. This is the one who produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.”


Basically what it is saying is that when you share your faith, your testimony, you don't know who all will take it to heart. Some will take it and not bother, some will take it, try to live "right" then give up and yet others will accept and grow in their spiritual walk.

The pic posted here to me says a lot because you never know what will grow. Not much will grow from the middle of something like asphalt or even rocks yet sometimes it does.

One thing to take away from this is that even when you plant seeds, don't assume that those you talk to don't take it at all for what you are sharing. There are people out there who will accept Christ when we least expect. There are quite a few in prisons who become Christians in there. Even mass murderers I'm sure. The gift is free to anyone. No one sin is worse then another in God's eyes.

If you truly want to accept Christ into your heart, then read this out loud or at least in your heart.

Dear God in heaven, I come to you in the name of Jesus. I acknowledge to You that I am a sinner, and I am sorry for my sins and the life that I have lived; I need your forgiveness.

I believe that your only begotten Son Jesus Christ shed His precious blood on the cross at Calvary and died for my sins, and I am now willing to turn from my sin.

You said in Your Holy Word, Romans 10:9 that if we confess the Lord our God and believe in our hearts that God raised Jesus from the dead, we shall be saved.

Right now I confess Jesus as the Lord of my soul. With my heart, I believe that God raised Jesus from the dead. This very moment I accept Jesus Christ as my own personal Savior and according to His Word, right now I am saved.

Thank you Jesus for your unlimited grace which has saved me from my sins. I thank you Jesus that your grace never leads to license, but rather it always leads to repentance. Therefore Lord Jesus transform my life so that I may bring glory and honor to you alone and not to myself.


Thank you Jesus for dying for me and giving me eternal life in Heaven.
Amen

My start as being a Christian was very rough as I was also living in a group home at the time. Yet over the years I walked away somewhat from the faith yet I came back. No walk is perfect yet remain steadfast. Seek wisdom and guidance daily. It's not easy, I will say that but it is so worth it. God has been so faithful for us and I know He will you.

Please feel free to leave a comment if you wish to share that you accepted Christ or have questions.

Blessings!

~ Special Momma ~

Believing

I tell you the last few days have been crazy..... In the storm with the insurance I really thought I was either going crazy or God had left me....... Yet I had to keep the faith that it would work out one way or another. We got two Medicaid denials within a week. The second one got me panicked given the wording on it.

After going on a wild goose chase with it and finally the last phone call of the day on Wednesday leaving me in tears, The girl at DHS felt sorry for me about what was going on. I have a friend who works for DHS in a different county so I called her as well.

Go on to yesterday morning, as I left the pediatrician's office with papers ready to go into SSI to deal with that side of it, I got a call from a DHS case manager. ALL WAS SETTLED!!! Medicaid is done and active again AND there will be NO gap in coverage what so ever.

I was reminded of the double rainbow I had seen recently and how I felt that it was a promise that all would work out. Boy was I clinging to that..... (Post HERE)

God won this battle! The Goliath that stood before me lost the battle. The war isn't won yet but the battle was won! Ultimately God will win the war too, I just have to remember that and to never let go of His promise.

Blessings!

~ Special Momma ~

Roots

The sermon I heard on Sunday was about father's day. Yet one quote I'm going to go on today is the following:

"Character is formed in the root ball of the oak tree that we are. Others only see the trunk up. What are we allowing to nourish us in our roots?"

That was well said.... There is another way to look at the roots too. The thing that holds us down when the storms come in and the winds of life try to blow us down. The deeper the roots go, the better it will hold during the storms.


How far down are our roots? What are we feeding our roots? Good wholesome food from God or everything the world says to feed it? How strong will we stand when the storms come? That's the test......


Blessings!  Short and sweet tonight....
~ Special Momma ~

Potholes

Almost all of us know what these are. We grumble and gripe about them because they truly are annoying and sometimes can damage our cars. The only true way to fix them long term is to redo the road section they are on. You can patch them but that doesn't last long.

Same goes for us. There are things that poke holes in us or that erode underneath to where eventually a hole forms that can be seen. Sometimes they are small like a little pothole but other times they can be huge like a sinkhole.

The smaller they are, the less outside damage they cause yet the bigger they get, the worse they do. Same for us. Are we just going to put band-aids or patches on ours and just hope they don't get bigger or are we going to really deal with the issue?

Sinkholes give very little warning. Sometimes we have had things fester inside us for so long that by the time we realize it's there, the sinkhole has begun.

The only one who can really heal us is God. We must be aware of the potholes in our lives and pray about it but most of all, let it go so we can really fix them. Boy that's hard......

Blessings!
~ Special Momma ~

Faith

Faith isn't just believing but it's action as well. Peter stepped out of the boat in the storm when Jesus said to come out. Abraham left his country when commanded. He too stepped out on faith that God would provide.

Why do we struggle so much with faith?

I was sitting outside today waiting to meet someone I was buying a lighthouse print from. Today I have been in a bleh mood.
I have tried to not fret about the surgery coming up and the Medicaid fun we are having but today it's been in my head all day. I heard Hymn For The Missing by RED and got to thinking about the child I miscarried. Without that loss, I wouldn't have my son yet I couldn't help but also wonder what would his/her journey been like? What would they look like? Personality? Would we be where we are now? I mean that question in several ways.

Today was bright and sunny with a few clouds. I prayed, "Lord, if everything with this upcoming surgery is going to be okay, especially financially right now, I wish to see a double rainbow today please...."

Now, that's going kinda far right? I had not seen the forecast today but from the looks of the sky, it was a long shot to see that today. Still God can do anything. Nothing is impossible with Him.

About 90 minutes or so passes and I happened to glance outside as it's down-pouring. I ran outside with my umbrella just to see since the sun was out too. This is what I saw.

See the double rainbow, especially in the last pic?? This rain shower lasted maybe 10 minutes if that. The rainbow disappeared pretty quickly. The whole time I was thinking of how much of an idiot I am for letting this stuff get to me..... Yet I am weak......

Sometimes I wonder if I will ever totally just get it..... When I will see that God has proven Himself plenty of times that things will work out. Yet the next storm, worry, whatever kicks in and there I go again.......

Anyone else with me on this? I know the closer it gets to my son's surgery in Texas, the more of a struggle I will have with the fretting and stuff but seesh..... Eight years of medical stuff and I still don't keep the faith as I should.

Yet God showed me today, even when at least I doubted rain today. Yet I got the double rainbow anyway.

God is good!

Blessings!
~ Special Momma ~

Midnight Moon

(I wrote this post on my Holland blog around Christmas and felt the need to share it here.)

The sun has just set. You knew as dusk set in that midnight was coming. Midnight is the darkest time. It's when the shadows are at their biggest, noises are heard the most or when silence rings loudest. It was under a full moon that Jesus prayed alone in the garden knowing his biggest trial was at hand. He knew midnight, his death was approaching. Now, we may not be approaching death in the literal sense but how often does a small piece of us die each time we deal with trauma? When our children are in pain and we can't do anything about it? When we know they face surgery yet nothing to stop it? Justified or not, the fear, worry, sadness, insomnia, constant battles, etc. we face? If not dealt with, we eventually die inside.

Dying spirituality and or emotionally is often more prolonged and painful then a physical death.
I admit I have been "ill" with spiritual and also emotional "sickness" before. We all have to one extent or another. It doesn't take long for it to fester and get to the point where you sometimes feel like a physical death would be better. During the time of midnight, wandering alone is our biggest tests of faith. The worst is the wandering alone. What will you face ahead? Tragedy, bankruptcy, divorce, etc. The list can go on..... In the journey, there is no GPS, maps or anything. You learn as you go. You learn that at times of despair and heartache that you must go on. There really isn't any other choice.
Traveling this last Christmas holiday going back home to Arkansas from Indiana, we were listening to the trial we had of XM radio. On there, one of the messages said,

"You cannot worry and have faith in God too. You can't have both. Either you trust or you don't."
OUCH...... That stung me.....

"I'll never know How much it cost To see my sin Upon that cross"
Luke 17:11-19 If you ask God for more then you thank him for, you have a problem. Always have gratitude. Only one came back in that Bible story. One. How often do we go through each day REALLY thanking God for what He has done?
The sun did rise and so did Jesus on that first Easter morning. The dawn will come for you as well. In the meantime, when it's midnight, look for the moon and the stars. Those glimmers of light are better seen the darker it is. The next time midnight and our the storm barrels at me, I will hopefully remember the words shared here. It's coming.....

We may feel like a single grain of sand inside this giant planet but each grain of sand put together, can make something beautiful out of glass when melted together.

Blessings!!
~ Special Momma ~

Time flies.....

Tonight was the last night I would put my son to bed as an infant. Tomorrow, his first birthday he will be considered a toddler.

So much this year yet in another way, it has gone so fast. My children are my gems chosen to be mine by God.

No matter what goes on in your life, never forget that you were chosen. Remember this:

Momma
by: Carol Andrews
6/2/15

Momma, you don't know you are pregnant with me yet. You will very soon though. I just want you to know that no matter what, God made me and knows my story already. God knew who my parents would be and knew that you and daddy would be strong enough for everything that I would need.

Momma, you should know that the world is going to consider me special needs. I won't be born looking or acting like most others will. There will be trials and issues that I will face that many won't. So few will understand but those that do you will learn to cherish.

Momma, you will have many battles to face to get the care and treatment I need to thrive. God knew all of this before I was created. The love you and daddy share has to stay strong so you two can fight together for me.

Momma, I already know you love me even though you don't know what I am facing yet. God knows though. He wouldn't have given me to you if He didn't already know you could do it.

Momma, today is my birth day. I am being born today. I sense your excitement and nervousness. As I am born, I see your face for the first time as you see mine. I see your tears of joy.

Momma, I know the doctor talked to you today. I see your tears. Please don't cry because of my diagnosis, cry tears of joy because I am your special gem. Don't cry because I will show the world what I can do. Stand proud momma.

Momma, I know the world sent you to Holland instead if Italy but in Holland, there are so many joys to be found. There will be hard days but days of joy too. Don't take what people say about me or you too hard. Most don't understand.

Momma, watch me prove to the world that I shine just like everyone else, only my light that I shine is a little different but it is such a pretty color that stands out. I have a heart of gold.

Momma, so many say that I won't do this or that but watch me. I may not do it like everyone else says I should but watch me. I will stand tall and shine. Will you stand there with me with your heart beaming with pride? Will you cry happy tears instead of tears of sadness?

Momma, don't mourn because I wasn't normal. Mourn for those who refuse to understand and pray for them. Yet momma, focus on those who stand with us. Feel joy for the times where you know you aren't fighting alone.

Momma, there will be seasons where you feel alone and misunderstood. There will be seasons of pain and sadness. There will be seasons of joy and excitement too.

Momma, just remember those seasons over the years will make you stronger and grow more in your faith. Through you momma, I will see what we can do.

Momma, with God, nothing is impossible. I will prove that.

Love, your son/daughter


Blessings!
~ Special Momma ~

Oceans

Yikes, I didn't plan on not posting this long... It really has been crazy busy here, yet good.

I have always wanted to make an ocean/beach theme in one room of the house. Slowly I have been doing that for the master bedroom and our bathroom. The kids' bathroom is between Faith and Frog themes. Thanks to some birthday money and sales at Hobby Lobby, I am close to having our bedroom/bathroom done.

To me, there is just something about the ocean at night that is just tranquil. Too bad I'll never own a beach house let alone vacation to the beach anytime soon but still. The pic posted is one I found online and did print out to hang up in my room.

This one is the wallpaper on my phone.

The beach again yet in the midst of the storm. As calm as the seas can be, storms quickly blow in and cause havoc. Think of hurricanes as well.




Honestly I like the pics I have of both. (I want to print and hang eventually) Why? Because it reminds me that God is in control of the seas when they are calm and also when they are raging. Just like in our lives, He is in control. Sometimes when you are in the midst of the storm, all you can do is lower the anchor, stay steadfast and wait it out..... Who is your anchor? Yourself or God?

Sometimes I struggle with that one but I know if I try to rely on just myself, I get so stressed and worn out as a start..... When the ship (us) is sailing and we know we are about to fall into the abyss of life, who are we holding on to?

Sorry about the flash....


So who is your anchor?




Blessings!
~ Special Momma ~

With God, all things are possible? Really???

I had this saved on my tablet so I could read it later. I finally did last night after my last post. Needless to say, I saved it on Facebook to look back on later. I will share it here then post some thoughts with it. Tonight's post was going to be a little different than this but it will totally fit.

How to pray when you're worried:

"For some people, prayer has become simply worrying out loud. You hear it in their voices when they pray aloud in a group; you see it in their expressions when they utter their prayer requests.

Maybe you aren’t a chronic worrier, but you’ve experienced enough apprehension about the terrible possibilities in life to know that anxiety is jeopardizing your relationship with God. You know it’s time to gain control over the anxiety that has crept into your life.
You also know how to do that. You need to cast your cares on Jesus, because He cares for you (1 Peter 5:7). But knowing that and doing that aren’t the same thing. Maybe you need a fresh way of understanding how that happens.
"Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers” (Philippians 4:6 MSG). That’s how a popular paraphrase of the Bible describes the process of casting your cares on God in prayer. Ask God for what you need, praise God for who He is, and watch as those constant worries become transformed into peace-producing prayer.
Faith in God cancels out worry, but the opposite is also true: worry cancels out faith in God. Don’t allow worry to displace your faith in God—you’ve come too far to let that happen now.
Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are.
Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life."

Ouch..... That honestly stung me.... Yet as my mentor mom would ask me, "What will you learn with this?"

Well......

I will say I will learn to better keep the faith. I will better learn to give to God my petitions AND not take them back. Yet I battle it ALL the time. Different things often but not always do I try to keep control of.... Yes, control.

Yet yesterday as I was driving, I felt the urge to go by my church and get a pic of the cross that's there and have the sticker that's on my windshield show with it. This is what I got.

I have faith and trust that the insurance drama we are having right now will be settled before my son's surgery.... I have to. God has proven himself too many times for me to doubt now.... Besides, without any faith, we would all go crazy....... Look back and reflect on all of the times God has proven himself to you.

Keep the faith! (And the chocolate!!)

Cheers!
~ Special Momma ~

Roaring Lion

Both pics are credited to Atif Saeed. When he was taking the pics, this lion started to charge at him. He made it to safety.

How many times do we roar at others? I call myself a momma bear and I have to roar often for my kids yet I also try to stay tactful and respectful in the process. I stand my ground though. There is a difference between standing your ground and being hateful.


No matter how upset we are with things, we must remember that the other person often either doesn't understand our feelings or is just doing their job. Recently we have been fighting with Medicaid issues. Thanks to one of my favorite pediatric nurses, we have made some headway but nothing decided yet. As much as I want to get on the phone and roar to get things done faster, I can't do that. Another good example of staying nice is this week we got our water bill. Many bills were printed on the wrong paper and was done on the ones they use for overdue balances. I called to make sure our account was okay. The poor lady I talked to said they had over 100 calls already that day and I was the nicest one thus far that day. Seriously..... Out of over 100. I was trying to have a sense of humor about what happened because I knew our account was balanced. Yet I made her day just by getting answers but being respectful and kind too.

Sometimes we have to remember that we can't get blood out of a turnip BUT honey catches more flies then vinegar does. So stand your ground, explain your case BUT be respectful and watch your tone as you do.

Go catch some flies!

Blessings!
~ Special Momma ~

My storm: Worries honestly over everything working out in time for my son's surgery coming up, especially insurance and finances....
My rainbow: Seeing the cross at our church tonight and remembering that with God, all things are possible. I'll go into that tomorrow.

Momma

Momma
by: Carol Andrews
6/2/15

Momma, you don't know you are pregnant with me yet. You will very soon though. I just want you to know that no matter what, God made me and knows my story already. God knew who my parents would be and knew that you and daddy would be strong enough for everything that I would need.

Momma, you should know that the world is going to consider me special needs. I won't be born looking or acting like most others will. There will be trials and issues that I will face that many won't. So few will understand but those that do you will learn to cherish.

Momma, you will have many battles to face to get the care and treatment I need to thrive. God knew all of this before I was created. The love you and daddy share has to stay strong so you two can fight together for me.

Momma, I already know you love me even though you don't know what I am facing yet. God knows though. He wouldn't have given me to you if He didn't already know you could do it.

Momma, today is my birth day. I am being born today. I sense your excitement and nervousness. As I am born, I see your face for the first time as you see mine. I see your tears of joy.

Momma, I know the doctor talked to you today. I see your tears. Please don't cry because of my diagnosis, cry tears of joy because I am your special gem. Don't cry because I will show the world what I can do. Stand proud momma.

Momma, I know the world sent you to Holland instead if Italy but in Holland, there are so many joys to be found. There will be hard days but days of joy too. Don't take what people say about me or you too hard. Most don't understand.

Momma, watch me prove to the world that I shine just like everyone else, only my light that I shine is a little different but it is such a pretty color that stands out. I have a heart of gold.

Momma, so many say that I won't do this or that but watch me. I may not do it like everyone else says I should but watch me. I will stand tall and shine. Will you stand there with me with your heart beaming with pride? Will you cry happy tears instead of tears of sadness?

Momma, don't mourn because I wasn't normal. Mourn for those who refuse to understand and pray for them. Yet momma, focus on those who stand with us. Feel joy for the times where you know you aren't fighting alone.

Momma, there will be seasons where you feel alone and misunderstood. There will be seasons of pain and sadness. There will be seasons of joy and excitement too.

Momma, just remember those seasons over the years will make you stronger and grow more in your faith. Through you momma, I will see what we can do.

Momma, with God, nothing is impossible. I will prove that.

Love, your son/daughter
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

My storm today: Huge battles with insurance and Medicaid.... I fear...
My rainbow: The smiling faces of my children and knowing I have friends praying.


Blessings!
 ~ Special Momma ~