Moonview Highway

It's actually one of my favorite tracks in Mario Kart Wii but playing that recently with my daughter had me thinking more into it.

We are always traveling on a road.Yet like on Moonview Highway, we have to watch for those who will run us over or us watch that we don't collide and lose our focus. The other thing Mario Kart would teach is that as obstacles hit us, we get up and keep going. We keep striving for the finish line, first or last, as long as we cross, we did what we were called to do. Even on the parts of the journey that we fall off of constantly, we have to get back on and keep going. Even when you do what I did today and break a pinky toe then stub it again a few hours later!!! OUCH! What's funny is the second time I stubbed it, I stubbed it on my floor shark! Yeah, a shark bit me! lol

Rainbow road, the easiest track to fall off of....

We may be beat up and ragged by the time we finish but we all will finish. Where are we going after we finish is the biggest question.

Blessings!
~ Special Momma ~

Did we lose?

This post might be better for my Holland blog but I'll share it here too.

"Sometimes when you lose, you win."

It's a line from a Robin Williams movie. I miss him.....



What does that line have to do with today's post you ask? When the journey to Holland beings, all too often we feel like either we have lost or our child(ren) have. Lost in this case could mean many things. Lost the dreams we had, lost the ability to do things and more. We feel like our world has fallen apart and crashed on us.

Yet did we really lose? There are days when it sure feels that way..... Yet look at all the blessings our gems give us? They may not shine under the same light as others do but I think with the light they have, they shine brighter. The light for 'typical' children isn't better or worse but it's different. I don't see special needs children as better or worse off. Medically sometimes yes, as unfortunately that can be reality but yet they are also the strongest warriors. Yet as many parents including myself would say, we aren't stronger or better then other parents either, it's just that when you are flung into this journey, you have no choice but to push forward. Help from friends and family and even strangers helps a lot though. A LOT.


"It takes a very special person to care for children with special needs. God gives them to people who will love them no matter what." One of my favorite nurses, Anita told me this the other day. It took me a long time to really, truly accept this. Yet I think she's right.

I also teased her and a few other friends by posting this: "Let it be known that I am the least miss plan-it with type A tendencies. I also do not worry about anything whatsoever and I do not have any control tendencies."

Those that know me, know that I am full of it on that one. lol Yet the struggle is real. It has benefits yet also curses. The hardest part for me is knowing the difference sometimes...

Trust is my hardest one. Trusting anyone other then myself and even then sometimes I don't. As my son's surgery approaches, that is one storm that is already rolling in. Blood checks and shots start this coming week to bring on more blood into my son's little body so he will deal with the surgery better on that aspect. Yet as I have done before, we will get through this. I have to be the mean momma and hold him down but I thank God that he's too young to remember. My daughter however is not as she will bear witness this time to what she had to deal with at about his same age.

Even through my daughter has been through this before, more then once, her eyes will be opened to a whole new perspective as now being the sibling. May my children help each other through this journey they have and may I be the rock they need. Most of all, may my husband and I rely on our Rock, to lead and guide us.

So did we really lose? I don't think so. It's no cakewalk by any means but the blessings outweigh the bad. May I remember that on the bad days too.


My storm: This coming week begins summer officially and it's already looking to be a crazy one...
My rainbow: Blessings in unexpected places.

Blessings!
~ Special Momma ~

What's in your purse?

Our lovely mentor mom for MOPS and my personal accountability person had a great devotional time with us today at our last MOPS meeting of the year. What Jacque shared with us, I'm going to share here. I don't carry all of this in my purse literally but it makes you think.

"As I was thinking about my purse today I was reminded of that icebreaker game we ladies sometimes play at meetings or retreats.

What's in your purse? Several items are called out and the winner is the one who can find the most items called in their purses. It's kind of a fun game and I chuckled to myself just thinking about the times I've played that game with other Christian ladies over the years.

Then it struck me that I could be asked almost anything and I'd have it on hand in my purse.

Why do I put in all those things to carry around with me when I go somewhere? Some of them are just so unnecessary.

I think that I do that as a Christian too. I get up and pop in my bag a lot of unnecessary things that I don't need to be carrying around with me throughout the day.

Maybe I should just stick to the basics and take along in my purse just some necessities.

CELL PHONE.
The first thing I'd better put in my purse is my communication device, which is prayer of course. If I need something, all i need to do is pray and the Lord is there to hear me.

Having that open communication with Christ throughout the day gives me a sense of security.

1 Thessalonians 5:17 - Pray without ceasing.

KEYS
I'll need my keys to drive my car and to unlock the house door when I come home.

Faith is the key that unlocks doors so that's something I surely don't want to leave behind.

Have you ever locked yourself out of your car or out of your house? That is such a helpless feeling when you are left without your keys.

It's the same way when we leave faith out of our lives. We're stuck and helpless as Christians. Faith is imperative to our survival each day.

Hebrews 11:6 Without faith no one can please God. Anyone who comes to God must believe that He is real and that He rewards those who truly want to find.

DRIVERS LICENSE (In wallet)
Next I'd better pop in my identification. Having that card inn my wallet that has my picture on it and says I can drive is great because not only can I drive with it but it serves as identification for me too.

My identification with Christ gives me even greater benefits; I have eternal life through Him. If I remember my identification with the Lord it will make me think a little more about the way I act and react throughout my day.

I'm one of God's children.

Romans 8:16-17 The spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's chldren. Now if we are children, then we are heirs - heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.

MONEY or DEBIT CARD (In wallet)
If I'm going out to run errands, I'm usually going to end up spending some money or having to use my debit card in case I need to make some purchases.

Instead of just investing in earthly things, I hope I find myself laying up some treasure in Heaven throughout my day.

Matthew 6:19-21 Do not gather for yourselves riches on earth. Moths and rats can destroy them. Thieves can break in and steal them. Instead, gather for yourselves riches in heaven. There, moths and rats do not destroy them. There, thieves do not break in and steal them. Your heart will be where your riches are.
SUNGLASSES
I'll want to keep a pair of sunglasses with me. I hope I can remember to look through my eyes throughout the day as Christ would. I need to see with eyes of love, compassion, and kindness.

Phil 2:1-4 Does your life in Christ give you strength? Does his love comfort you? Do we share together in the spirit? Do you have mercy and kindness? If so, make me very happy by having the same thoughts, sharing the same love, and having one mind and purpose. When you do things, do not let selfishness or pride be your guide. Instead, be humble and give more honor to others than to yourselves. Do not be interested only in your own life, but be interested in the lives of others.

PACKAGE OF TISSUES
Better throw a pack of tissues into my purse. I need to be reminded to shed a few tears for other souls. I trust I'll have a tender heart when it comes to the question of eternity for those I meet throughout my day.

Psalm 126:5 Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy.
HAND LOTION.
I'll need to drop in a tube of hand lotion before I go. I need to be reminded to put a little softness into my day when I react to situations and to people that I come in contact with.

Proverbs 15:1 A gentle answer will calm a person's anger, but an unkind answer will cause more anger.
LIPSTICK.
I might need a touch up so I'd better include a tube of lipstick in my purse. I need to be reminded to put some praise and singing on my lips everywhere I go throughout my day.

Psalm 34:1 I will praise the LORD at all times; His praise is always on my lips.

CONCLUSION:
It is so easy to get up in the morning and drop in some unnecessary things to take along with us as we go about our day.

Sometimes I take grumpiness or a bad attitude with me on my way. Those things really clutter up my life.

You may have some other thins that you carry with you all the time that are getting in your way of serving Christ on a daily basis.

I think sometimes we need to turn our lives upside down and dump everything out except for those things that honor Christ.

We need to be tidy with our Christian lives and just have those things at our fingertips that please the Lord.

SO WHAT'S IN YOUR PURSE??"


Wow....

The last few days I have struggled with feelings about some things. Yet to be reminded to praise God at ALL times, no matter how bad it is, that's hard. When things are bad or I'm in a bad mood, my first impulse is to listen to music that will only feed that. Yet listening to songs like Broken Hallelujah, Still and others like that do really uplift. Other times I listen to 3 Doors Down and sometimes other songs like Who's got my back by Creed or My Own Prison that feed the anger or sadness I feel. There are other songs on both sides that I listen to.

I'm going to be real for a minute here. This week I was betrayed by a friend, or at least was a target of a rant she did on Facebook about my 'disabled' kids and that I don't work so they can stay on Medicaid. Hubs works and he has insurance that covers all four of us. Medicaid is secondary for the kids...... She admitted it was about me when I confronted her about it and I pointed out that the pot can't call the kettle black here. I'm not 'over it' I admit and I ask for prayer about this that my heart will face this the way God would want me to face it instead of getting hard hearted.

The message that Jacque shared today was honestly one I needed to hear and one that I am glad I can share here as well.

I will end my post today with an awareness post I made a few days ago in light of this week.

"I sit amazed seeing my son sleep how big he is. Despite naysayers, he is thriving. He is not my daughter nor is my daughter him. What do I mean? They share one diagnosis. One. She has 14 total, he has three so far. Do I have my moments? Yes.... Everyone does! Even you! Yet does that make them worthless? Heck no! Burdens? No! Is money tight? Yes.... God provides thus far. God created them and has a plan. None of us choose genetics. Even if I knew at conception that my son would have issues I would have had him anyways. Same with my daughter, I would never abort and if I did, what message is that sharing? Disabled/medically issues aren't worth life? I also don't work because we would lose Medicaid and I would have to have time off often for appointments and surgeries. The money I would make wouldn't even budge the budget by the time it was all figured in, in fact we would be worse off. Hubs does that math often. I'm not a mooch. We take care of our kids. Medicaid and other programs were designed to help. Not all mooch and "earn" a living off of government. Besides, if you use ANY government aid yourself, you are the pot calling the kettle black. Think about it.

As I said recently, I would trade my children in for nothing. They are a blessing and gift from God. They were fearfully and wonderfully made by God the way God wanted them to be. God knew their story and who their parents would be before we did. God knit them in my womb knowing all that would come. Does God make mistakes? No!
Things are rough sometimes and I worry sometimes about how things will turn out for them and for us. Yet God has a plan for all of us. I don't see us having a quiver full but my children have a story and as many as my daughter has touched in 8 short years, I can imagine how many my son will touch. I wouldn't trade that, ever.
My children won't be raised to conform to this world but to teach this world. Special needs children aren't a burden, they are a blessing. I think God allowed "disabilities" so they can teach the world about God's truth, faith and HOPE.
Without hope, we have nothing.
People don't need to judge till they know the full story. My children amaze me and the people around them need to see it too. It's not all about the diagnosis and or disability.

Just sayin."


My storm: I get to hold my son down for blood draws next week. The following week he will start weekly injections and blood draws to prep for surgery.
My rainbow: I am blessed to have my children, "disabilities" or not. Children are indeed a gift from God.

Blessings!!
~ Special Momma ~

Tornado Warnings

The county west of us had three different tornado warnings last night. I was sure we would get one here but we did not. However I was watching the weather and looking outside. It was quite ominous looking.

We lost power for a few hours shortly after this. Thankfully my brother-in-law had power and was texting me updates on what the weather was doing. When we lost power I really did start to get nervous. Fortunately I have a battery/crank radio so I listened to a local station with that since WiFi was knocked out too.I honestly was getting nervous for a little bit there.

How are we when storms in our lives come in? When the tornado siren goes off in our lives and we don't know if there really is one barreling at us or just a really bad storm or best case, a glitch?

How about when we have known for a while it's coming?

Sometimes the best thing you can do is pray.... Yet even then sometimes debris will hit you from where you least expect. Standing firm and deeply rooted in our faith is the best way to survive the storms. Always remember there is a rainbow on the other side, even if we don't always see it.


Blessings!
~ Special Momma ~

Psalm 139

Psalm 139

¹ O Lord, you have examined my heart
    and know everything about me.
² You know when I sit down or stand up.
    You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.
³ You see me when I travel
    and when I rest at home.
    You know everything I do.
⁴ You know what I am going to say
    even before I say it, Lord.
⁵ You go before me and follow me.
    You place your hand of blessing on my head.
⁶ Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too great for me to understand!

⁷ I can never escape from your Spirit!
    I can never get away from your presence!
⁸ If I go up to heaven, you are there;
    if I go down to the grave,^[a] you are there.
⁹ If I ride the wings of the morning,
    if I dwell by the farthest oceans,
¹⁰ even there your hand will guide me,
    and your strength will support me.
¹¹ I could ask the darkness to hide me
    and the light around me to become night—
¹²     but even in darkness I cannot hide from you.
To you the night shines as bright as day.
    Darkness and light are the same to you.

¹³ You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
    and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
    Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
¹⁵ You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
    as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
¹⁶ You saw me before I was born.
    Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
    before a single day had passed.

¹⁷ How precious are your thoughts about me,^[b] O God.
    They cannot be numbered!
¹⁸ I can’t even count them;
    they outnumber the grains of sand!
And when I wake up,
    you are still with me!

My pastor at church this morning preached on this. His first question was this: Ever feel like you impact nobody? We should value our own worth not on what we do for a living, money we make, what others think of us or even what we look like. Our value should only be based on what God thinks of us, nobody else.

God knows us
God pursues us - Even if we don't Him.
God made us! Psalm 139 shows it! There are other verses that prove this!
God has plans for us!

With that in mind:

I would trade my children in for nothing. They are a blessing and gift from God. They were fearfully and wonderfully made by God the way God wanted them to be. God knew their story and who their parents would be before we did. God knit them in my womb knowing all that would come. Does God make mistakes? No!
Things are rough sometimes and I worry sometimes about how things will turn out for them and for us. Yet God has a plan for all of us. I don't see us having a quiver full but my children have a story and as many as my daughter has touched in 8 short years, I can imagine how many my son will touch. I wouldn't trade that, ever.

My children won't be raised to conform to this world but to teach this world. Special needs children aren't a burden, they are a blessing. I think God allowed "disabilities" so they can teach the world about God's truth, faith and HOPE.

Without hope, we have nothing. Absolutely nothing.....

My storm: We are down to one car this week.
My rainbow: I asked God to see a rainbow today and I did on the way home today. It was faint but it was definitely there. I can barely see it in the pic from my phone.

Blessings!
~ Special Momma ~

Rest stop

"Parenthood, to me, was like a giant swimming pool. I saw other people in the pool and they looked okay. And, tentatively, I put my foot in the water. Suddenly, someone grabbed me from behind and threw me in the deep end of the pool. In the deep end! How unfair!"

~ Jennifer Enderlin Blougouras ~

That's how the journey begins. It's like you are ready to go then you get started then you wind up lost. You don't have the proper maps, the GPS doesn't work properly and you are just totally lost in the middle of nowhere. As you wander around lost, you stumble onto a rest stop. You go in there to find out your journey is not what you thought it would be but you are helped to at least begin a different one. One that will take you not where you first planned but where you are destined for. The one that God designed for us to be on.

The Denison pic is that of our favorite rest stop just as we get into Texas going to Dallas. We almost always stop in there. One of the best rest stops that I have seen.We will see that rest stop again in July. That is when my son gets his first major surgery of God knows what..... Again I had to consent to the day and agree to this. It's not my first go round with this but it sure isn't any easier either.

Recently I went to Fayetteville for my son to have therapy evals done. I went twice. The first time I was leaving and the GPS messed me up. Does this look like a road that would take me to the interstate??



No it doesn't even though it was pretty to see. Had my GPS not messed up, I would have never known about this long gravel road and seen how pretty it really was out there. Imagine this in the peak of fall!! You never know what the journey will bring or take you...

The storm is coming though..... Storms come as does rainbows but I know a big storm is coming yet I know we will make it on the other side of that one too. More gray hair probably but still.... :) Beauty can be found within. No telling what families we will meet this time in Dallas. Our journey has many blessings along with the storms.
Reality hit me today after I got that phone call from Dallas. Reality hit again when I was arranging with the pediatrician's nurse the weekly shots and blood draws my son will have to have starting next month to prepare for his surgery. She and I got some laughs but also had to talk serious stuff. Surgery, therapy, swallow study and more..... Big stuff coming up this summer..... I will also get my first experience at driving a mini-van in a big city. It's been 8 years since I drove one. Yeah... Pray for that. lol

Right now I'm listening to Still by Hillsong. Remembering this:

Hide me now
Under Your wings
Cover me
Within Your mighty hand

When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with You above the storm
Father you are King over the flood
I will be still, know You are God

May I rest in the Lord....

Rest in the Lord
By: Melissa Whitney - I think

Based on Psalm 37:7, "Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for him..."

Often we are tried and troubled
Many a care have we;
Jesus knows each thought, each feeling,
He sees what we can’t see.
He knows that every flame He sends
Will only purify;
Every flood can wash us clean
When He is by our side.

Rest in the Lord; wait patiently for Him
He will be your light when the way has grown dim
Rest in the Lord; wait patiently for Him
He will guide you, walk beside you
Just trust in Him.

When we cannot see why
A problem must arise
Jesus knows the end will make it
Worth our flooded eyes
He works each circumstance together
As part of His wise plan
He only asks we trust Him fully
And, by His grace, we can

Rest in the Lord; wait patiently for Him
He will be your light when the way has grown dim
Rest in the Lord; wait patiently for Him
He will guide you, walk beside you
Just trust in Him.

Things and people change
Though we wish they’d stay the same
Jesus is the only one
Who doesn’t ever change
He’s always there to lead and guide us
Be our faithful friend
His love can never, ever fail
He’ll be with us to the end!

So rest in the Lord; wait patiently for Him
He will be your light when the way has grown dim
Rest in the Lord; wait patiently for Him
He will guide you, walk beside you
Just trust in Him.

Written January 2005


My storm: Finding out the day my son gets his first major surgery today...
My rainbow: Knowing I have friends and family praying and supporting us.

Blessings!

~ Special Momma ~

Shoes in church

Shoes in Church

I showered and shaved................ I adjusted my tie.
I got there and sat................ In a pew just in time.
Bowing my head in prayer............ As I closed my eyes.
I saw the shoe of the man next to me....... Touching my own. I sighed.
With plenty of room on either side......... I thought, 'Why must our soles touch?'
It bothered me, his shoe touching mine.. But it didn't bother him much.
A prayer began: 'Our Father'............. I thought,
'This man with the shoes, has no pride. They’re dusty, worn, and scratched.
Even worse, there are holes on the side!'
'Thank You for blessings,' the prayer went on.
The shoe man said................. A quiet 'Amen.'
I tried to focus on the prayer....... But my thoughts were on his shoes again..
Aren't we supposed to look our best. When walking through that door?
'Well, this certainly isn't it,' I thought, glancing toward the floor.
Then the prayer was ended............ And the songs of praise began .
The shoe man was certainly loud..... Sounding proud as he sang.
His voice lifted the rafters........ His hands were raised high.
The Lord could surely hear.. The shoe man's voice from the sky.
It was time for the offering........ And what I threw in was steep.
I watched as the shoe man reached.... Into his pockets so deep.
I saw what was pulled out.......... What the shoe man put in.
Then I heard a soft 'clink' as when silver hits tin.
The sermon really bored me.......... To tears, and that's no lie.
It was the same for the shoe man... For tears fell from his eyes.
At the end of the service........ As is the custom here.
We must greet new visitors, And show them all good cheer.
But I felt moved somehow........... And wanted to meet the shoe man.
So after the closing prayer........ I reached over and shook his hand.
He was old and his skin was dark..... And his hair was truly a mess.....
But I thanked him for coming.......... For being our guest...
He said, 'My name’s Charlie............ I'm glad to meet you, my friend.'
There were tears in his eyes......... But he had a large, wide grin..
'Let me explain,' he said............. Wiping tears from his eyes.
'I've been coming here for months...... And you're the first to say 'Hi.''
'I know that my appearance...........Is not like all the rest.
'But I really do try....................To always look my best.'
'I always clean and polish my shoes...Before my very long walk.'
'But by the time I get here........They're dirty and dusty, like chalk.'
My heart filled with pain............ And I swallowed to hide my tears.
As he continued to apologize.......... For daring to sit so near
He said, 'When I get here............ I know I must look a sight.'
'But I thought if I could touch you....Then maybe our souls might unite.'
I was silent for a moment............. Knowing whatever was said
Would pale in comparison.... I spoke from my heart, not my head.
'Oh, you've touched me,' I said.......'And taught me, in part'
'That the best of any man..............Is what is found in his heart.'
The rest, I thought,............... This shoe man will never know.
Like just how thankful I really am.... That his dirty old shoe touched my soul

Live each day as your last, for we never know our time here on earth. Love and Peace My Friends and remember that it is not how we look on the outside but how we look within .

I'm not sure who wrote this but I don't think anymore needs said today....

Blessings!
~ Special Momma ~

My storm today: Nervous about the swallow study for my son this week
My rainbow: I got caffeine today! ;)